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AIBU?

9 year old daughter friendship problems

1 reply

Tantastic12 · 25/09/2022 20:12

AIBU in thinking this is the beginning of my dd being bullied?

My 9 year old dd has been in a friendship group of 7 girls since they started school. 2 girls left the school over summer as parents were relocated for work. My dd's best friend would be girl A, they both were in same reception class so had a year together before meeting the others. Very similar personalities, have had loads of playdates and no issues up until now. Girl B is quieter and has got closer to my dd recently due to a shared interest outside school. They have had a few playdates at each others houses.

Last week on Friday, my dd came home from school upset, she said that Girl A and Girl B ignored her at both break and lunch time. She approached them to ask something and they both turned and walked away. I gave her a big cuddle and told her she'd done nothing to deserve this and it wasn't kind behaviour from the girls. Next day, Saturday, they were all at sports practice and both Girl A and Girl B behaved normally, no mention of previous days behaviour.

I thought maybe Girl A was jealous of my dd having new closer friendship with Girl B so I invited both girls for a playdate after school this week. All was going fine until close to home time. I told the girls they had 20 minutes left until parents were picking them up. Girl A said to my dd and Girl B "But we've only been here an hour and half", to which my dd corrected her and said "It's actually been 3 and half hours", Girl A said "Oh be quiet and go away". My dd came and sat at table looking miserable where I found her and she told me what had been said. I called for other 2 girls saying dd was upset and was everything okay and Girl A told me a different story something about wanting to play different games. Girl B didn't say a word. I said how important it was not to leave people out and be aware of others feelings.

Girl A went home and Girl B's parents were held up so she ended up staying for another hour and her and my dd played happily again no issues. After when I spoke to my dd about it she just shrugged it off and said all was fine now.

My gut tells me it's Girl A creating this drama and Girl B isn't confident enough to question it. How do I help my dd? Do I just continue to reinforce her self importance and remind her to call the girls out on this behaviour if it happens again? Do I speak to the other parents and get their thoughts?

I never had anything like this happen with my older dd so I'm really stuck. All advice will be very appreciated.

OP posts:
Boujisboo · 25/09/2022 20:55

Speaking from experience with this, it sounds like your daughter has the correct tools to deal with this. She expressed upset and also later brushed this off. Don’t make it bigger than it needs to be but also don’t excuses the shitty behaviour of others. Be there when she is upset but also know that in girl world things can change daily.

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