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AIBU?

Upset DS ignored my birthday

78 replies

DorsetCafes · 25/09/2022 19:28

Didn’t see DS on morning of my birthday a few days ago, but picked him up from school and he didn’t say happy birthday…
I know he was aware it was my birthday because I’d talked about maybe going out for supper for the occasion, although I’d eventually decided to cook something nice at home that I know he usually likes. He then got very angry we weren’t going out and said he didn’t want what I’d cooked.
It also became clear he hadn’t made me a birthday card (despite encouragement from other relatives to do so) or even bought one, and hadn’t made or procured any kind of present. I was semi-thinking a late one might materialise a bit late this weekend but it didn’t.

All in all it was a really tiring and crap birthday evening - especially as I could have gone out with friends but I had chosen to spend the time with DS instead.

DS is nearly 10 - pretty mature for his age and has his own money in money box/bank as well as access to all the card making materials anyone could need. Ironically one of his friends the same age even posted me a hand drawn card they’d made!

AIBU to think that a kid of this age should be capable of recognising their mother’s birthday and making at least a token effort? When I was his age, my Db and I made a massive effort for our mother - we saved up our pocket money for ages to make and buy presents and cards. Or is that not a thing any more?

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TomatoSandwiches · 15/04/2023 14:59

I think that's a lot of pressure and expectations for a 10yr old boy tbh.
He is a young child not a teenager or boyfriend.

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Augend23 · 15/04/2023 15:07

Do you have any friends or relatives that could help him get sorted?

I think it would be better to get someone else to help next time until expectations are firmly set and he can definitely go alone to go shopping.

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DorsetCafes · 15/04/2023 18:12

This is a bit of a zombie as my birthday was six months ago. Interesting the people’s vote ended up 50/50… you don’t often see that on MN.

By way of an update the whole incident has now passed into family folklore. He still doesn’t do anything about cards (and I am sorry but it’s not unreasonable to think a 10yo could draw a birthday or mother’s day card) but he did make me a present at school for Christmas and he gave me a potted herb for Mother’s Day. Also he’s learned how to make a cup of tea which is best present of all really.

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