Christmas plans with 2 month old and 5 year old

[UsernameAB12]

This Christmas I will have a 2 month old and a 5 year old (who is autistic and a handful). Both grandparents live 60 miles away. I won't be up for travelling (husband can't drive as well). And I don't feel like I will be up for cooking a big Christmas dinner either (again husband can't really cook anything other than heating premade things in a pan or oven). My parents will stay in a hotel on Christimas eve and my dad will happily prep and cook Christmas dinner for us 4 adults (my dad, my mum, me and DH) and dc on Christmas day at my house. Just leaves shopping for food and clean up to me (my mum will help a bit with that). What about DH's family - can I take the attitude it is his family and his problem as they won't be as helpful (as in won't lift a finger) as my parents and I won't be up for cooking a big Christmas meal? What did / would you do in these circumstances?

1. buy your husband driving lessons for Christmas
2. get your DH to ask your in-laws what they’d like to do? It depends if they have other children etc. explain you’re not up for cooking so if they’d like to come they need to bring something.

Nah. Leave it up to him to sort. Your parents are making a great effort, so if they want to join in they need to sort it out and make effort as you have a new baby.

Why can’t your husband learn to cook? I don’t just mean for Christmas but sounds like all the driving & cooking falls to you and he needs to step up in general.

Yes leave his family for him to sort for Christmas but in general I think he needs to do more.

Is the fact his family won’t help/lift a finger where he gets it from?

I am a SAHM (mostly because I needed to look after autistic son) which husbands family looks down upon and think that means I should be some house skivvy. Also husband has dyspraxia and by the time he has cut up one vegatable I could have prepped the whole dinner.