Was I insensitive?

[headintheclouds707]

Last year, my 17 year old sister ended up pregnant. In the end, she decided the best decision for her would be to have a termination. I fully supported her through what was a very traumatic and emotional time for all involved. Since this happened, nobody in the family has really spoken about it again.

Recently, my sister has been really down and has just not seemed like her normal bubbly self. Everyone in the family has been really concerned about her as there is a noticeable difference in her demeanour. I worked out that around now would be the time that she would be giving birth if she went through with the pregnancy. My sister and I have an extremely close relationship, so I thought I would have a chat with her. I mentioned that I know this time of year may be emotional for her and I would be there for her if she needed me to be. She completely blew up at me and asked why I would say such a thing and burst into tears. I feel awful. Do you think I shouldn't have mentioned anything at all?

I think you hit a nerve. Not sure if it was right for you to vocalise it - everyone deals with stuff differently. It doesn’t sound like she’s really made peace with her decision though - I’d suggest she looks into some therapy.

I don't think you were insensitive, no.

Just carry on being supportive, in touch and sisterly.

You're her sister, if there's anyone I'd hope she could talk to about this it's you. I would have done the same OP, and her reaction is evidence she's feeling quite emotional and you've hit the nail on the head.

Perhaps let her cool off and reach out again with some cookies and a brew and see if she wants to talk about it. Tell her you're there to listen should she wish to discuss it. If not, then don't mention it again until she does?

@headintheclouds707

Sound like you hit the issue!
you have to support .

I think it was a bit insensitive to mention the issue without her bringing it up, but not at all insensitive to be supportive.

Yoo could have worded it differently: “I’ve noticed you seem down; do you want to talk? What’s on your mind?” Sort of thing. And let her bring it up to you.

You gave her the chance to let out the pent up feelings she had. It may not have been nice for either of you but in the long run it probably helped her a lot to be able to release her feelings and know you somewhat get it