To ask for more child maintenance?

[WhatDoIDoWithADrunkenSailor]

Hello 👋

I'll try keep this short.

My ex and I have one child, we split about 6 years ago and since then my ex has paid 400 per month for child maintenance (he decided on the amount based on his job at the time)

Fast forward to now, the cost of living is absolutely insane as I'm sure everyone knows and is also struggling with. My ex has been promoted to a much higher paying job in the past couple of years, and has moved to a less expensive town (his rent has probably halved).

I'm not sure of his exact wage, but based on what I can find out, his job role and location etc, he's probably on minimum of 50k annually.

AIBU if I were to ask him to pay more in child maintenance? I'm not talking about hundreds, even an extra 50 would be a help.

Thanks all.

Go through the CMS. His housing costs aren’t relevant but if he’s earning more you should be getting more.

Just go through the official channels

If you go through CMS you will get £500 a month I think

I'd rather not go through anything like CMS, we've always done things ourselves without any external services and I'd rather keep it that way.

You can ask but as long as he’s paying at least the legal minimum he can say no.

There's no harm in asking but be prepared that he might say no, only you know what he's like.

CMS calculate how much he should pay based on how often he has them. You can use their calculator to estimate how much he should be giving you.
If he's already paying more than that, you need to have a think about whether asking him for more would result in him lowering it to the minimum.
Or if he doesn't pay the minimum, if you ask and he says no you could consider going through the CMS. Although if you're co-parenting well right now and you think that will sour things then that's also something worth considering

That depends on how often he has their child as CMS is worked out on the amount of time he sees them

Just ask then?

I've done a CMS calculator and based on what I assume he makes, he should be paying an extra £100.

However I'm not 100% certain on his salary, it could be lower although I doubt it. But what I am certain on is him not telling me the truth about his salary. He didn't when we were together, he was very controlling and abusive so I'm reluctant to ask for more, or agitate him by going through CMS.

I'm just trying to gauge if I'd be totally unreasonable to ask for more.

You’ve got a few options.

Carry on as you are
Ask him to pay for one off items
Ask what his salary is now so you can work it out using the CMS cakcukator
Ask him to review the figure using the CMS calculator
Make it official and go through the CMS

If things are civil and pleasant you’ll be able to talk to him, tell him the number hasn’t been reviewed for years and it needs to be one way or another.

If you’re scared to ask him or go through official channels then it’s not really that civil and you’ve nothing to lose if you feel you need more money than he’s giving you and he hasn’t offered.

To be honest £400 for one child sounds a lot when I remember I was just receiving about £425 going through CMS for my two children when my ex was a high earner. However I think he was deliberately putting a lot in to his pension to avoid paying more child maintenance. Good luck.

I think theres no harm in sending a neutral message asking if it's possible for him to increase the amount of child maintenance, then take it from there.