AIBU?
Knocking on my door and peering through my window at 4.30am. Is this reportable?
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 10:23
At 4.30 this morning I was awoken to the sound of somebody at my door. I got up and went to the hallway, with the lights still off, and saw the silhouette of a person who I'm 99% sure is a relative of mine. She was pressing her face up against the frosted glass in the front door trying to see through. She left after about 10 minutes.
I didn't want to make a fuss in the night as i was home alone with 3 small children, my husband works nights.
To avoid drip feeding, this relative has schizophrenia and has regular relapses as she doesn't take her medication. She has delusions. I keep my distance for the most part as she can be unpredictable.
Is this something the police would be interested in or not? I'm feeling a bit shaken up and a bit out of my depth.
Am I being unreasonable?
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tenbob · 25/09/2022 10:27
Do you want the police to see this as a crime or a welfare issue?
The former, I doubt they would, the latter, it might be useful for them to know and also inform other agencies?
In the meantime, can you get a video doorbell?
Cakeandcoffee93 · 25/09/2022 10:28
Report definitely! Glad you didn’t answer the door
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 10:28
tenbob · 25/09/2022 10:27
Do you want the police to see this as a crime or a welfare issue?
The former, I doubt they would, the latter, it might be useful for them to know and also inform other agencies?
In the meantime, can you get a video doorbell?
Definitely a welfare issue (both hers and ours)
I think a video doorbell is a good idea. Thank you. I'll look into getting one shortly.
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 10:52
Cakeandcoffee93 · 25/09/2022 10:28
Report definitely! Glad you didn’t answer the door
Yeah I certainly won't be answering the door. I'm quite intimidated by her to tell the truth which probably sounds bonkers as she's a woman in her 60's.
knittingaddict · 25/09/2022 11:00
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 10:52
Yeah I certainly won't be answering the door. I'm quite intimidated by her to tell the truth which probably sounds bonkers as she's a woman in her 60's.
Cakeandcoffee93 · 25/09/2022 10:28
Report definitely! Glad you didn’t answer the door
It doesn't sound bonkers at all. My deceased mil had severe mental health issues and was a very scary woman indeed. She was a very slight woman but one tradesman made a run for it out of her house, leaving his tools behind as he was so afraid of her.
I sympathise op.
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 11:17
knittingaddict · 25/09/2022 11:00
It doesn't sound bonkers at all. My deceased mil had severe mental health issues and was a very scary woman indeed. She was a very slight woman but one tradesman made a run for it out of her house, leaving his tools behind as he was so afraid of her.
I sympathise op.
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 10:52
Yeah I certainly won't be answering the door. I'm quite intimidated by her to tell the truth which probably sounds bonkers as she's a woman in her 60's.
Cakeandcoffee93 · 25/09/2022 10:28
Report definitely! Glad you didn’t answer the door
Thank you, I appreciate that.
I'm sorry you have personal experience of the same dynamic. There's no doubt it must be a horrendous thing to live with for the unwell person, but the impact it has on others can't be underestimated.
I get such anxiety when I know she isn't well. I worry that she'd do something to endanger me/my kids. She's a nice person when well but the problem is she rarely is well.
FusionChefGeoff · 25/09/2022 11:40
Oh god I read this as knocking on my door and PEEING through my window and was horrified!!!
krustykittens · 25/09/2022 12:04
You need to report this, OP. If she is off her meds and a potential danger to herself and others then the police and any professionals overseeing her care need to know.
Hotandbothereds · 25/09/2022 12:08
Can you get in touch with her direct and check in with her first? The police may do a welfare check but it’d be quicker to check in with her wouldn’t it?
Or are you concerned about encouraging her doing this again?
It’s so hard when you know someone has MH issues that spill over like this, I’ve been there with family myself.
PearlWithTheGirlEarring · 25/09/2022 12:08
We have a man who lives up the road who does this. First assumption was he was drunk as his behaviour was erratic to say the least. He comes at all hours from 1 to 7am, sometimes even with his dog.
he targets houses and for a while mine was it. After the initial WTF and police involvement (it coincided with a series of break ins in the area) we realised he had mental health issues.
We spoke to his housing association and made a contact with a lovely lady there who asked us to keep reporting to both them and local police so they could show a pattern of behaviour and gain support in the community. I was worried for him tbh as one neighbour had already threatened to punch him if he came again.
All of the neighbours reported and he did get some extra home support. Not seen him for a while so I’m hoping he’s now got the levels of support he needs to live happily.
I can confirm though that the hammering on the door at 2am is a bit disconcerting until you realise what is going on.
PerpetualStudent · 25/09/2022 12:09
Does she have a social worker or other existing health support? I’ve had experience of a similar situation by proxy and that was always the first port of call (not always effective in the immediate term, but at least behaviour is being recorded in one place)
Everydaywheniwakeup · 25/09/2022 12:12
A person knocked on your door at 4 am then went away. I can't imagine the police will be remotely interested.
SalviaOfficinalis · 25/09/2022 12:14
Is she under a mental health service? Can you phone them and say you’re concerned about her?
Obviously they can’t give you any information about her, but presumably you can tell them your concerns and they’ll be passed on to her key worker/whoever.
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 12:21
So I have tried to call her directly but her mobile is switched off, quite unusual for her. I've sent a text asking if she's OK and to let me know she's safe but I haven't heard anything back. My DM has also tried to reach her and can't.
I've spent the morning ringing around trying to speak to somebody from the community mental health team about my concerns. I finally got through to somebody who I'm pretty sure knows her personally (they couldn't confirm that due to data protection but made it pretty clear iykwim)
I used to have the contact details for her CPN (sp?) but it all changed. They left and she was reassigned somebody else who I don't know. The woman I spoke with from CMHT said she's sending an email to the care coordinator and will flag my concerns, also to try and talk her into going to A&E if she's acutely unwell.
I'm not going to be able to facilitate that as I'm alone with my children and really can't expose them to the type of behavior she displays when she's ill.
QuestionableMouse · 25/09/2022 12:24
I'd absolutely report it to someone - it's going to be below freezing soon enough and she's at risk of she's roaming the streets at night. 101 is probably your best bet unless you hang on until tomorrow and get in touch with the adult social care team.
Unidentified1 · 25/09/2022 12:30
Yes it's definitely a concern that she's roaming the streets in the middle of the night.
She has only been out of hospital for a month or so, it's a bit of a revolving door unfortunately. She gets sectioned, complies with her med regime until she's deemed safe to be released and then within weeks stops taking her meds again.
It's a double edged sword as whilst her being safe is a top priority I would be lying if I said I'm not concerned for myself / my children when I become a feature in her episodes.
Alot of her delusions were centered around the Royal family so I'm not surprised that the Queen's passing has triggered her.
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