To think it's actually liberating to realise that nobody really thinks about you as much as you do.

[PangolinPie]

For a large amount of people at least. All the worrying we do about what others think about us. Most people really don't give a shit. Obviously immediate family, if you're lucky and not in a dysfunctional set up (and close friends perhaps). I'm not offering this as new and insightful knowledge btw, just something that occurs to me from time to time and I think that a lot of people forget.

Perhaps 'judge' is the wrong word. Observe and make inference is perhaps a better summary. I don't care what people do, look like etc. But I might observe it and think 'huh that's interesting it's not how I would have done it but hey ho'

Why do you do this?
What’s the backstory here?

You judge everyone, all the time?

Ok, well I don’t think that’s judging.
That’s just engaging with and responding to your immediate environment surely.

I tell myself this when I go over what I said the night before or in a meeting etc

its anxiety but reminding myself no one is going over in their head what I said is helpful

I remember my grandad, when I was whinging to my grandma about not wanting to go out because I was worried about people looking me and judging me, roaring "WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK ANYONE'S THAT INTERESTED IN YOU??!"

Harsh, but ultimately helpful. I remember him saying it whenever I'm inclined to feel self-conscious.

My DM is 90 and lives in a retirement flat. She won't take her rubbish down to the communal bins, nor use the communal laundry without her makeup on and hair done despite us all telling her that no one cares.

It took years of practice for me not to show my every emotion on my face!

I used to work in HR, and early on in my career I remember my boss saying to me "could you try to NOT have I Think You're A Lying Little Toerag written all over your face in the next disciplinary hearing you do, please?" 😆

Re Pinkpeonytoo....that describes me very well!! Are you my long lost twin??

@Endlesslaundry123 i think that’s a really good point that we (especially if we are women) are taught to think first from an outside perspective rather than are we happy with our own choices/looks/lifestyle.
Im trying to break that mindset and remind me the voice in my head saying “what will people think” can probably be answered with “Nowt!”

I absolutely LOVE people watching and I am very introspective. I am better now at not beating myself up when I see one of my mistakes. I am developing the mindset of watching life , with its actors/actresses, like its a movie. And I just CANT STOP WATCHING!!!😂

Being irrelevant to irrelevant people shouldn't be disheartening though. Being irrelevant to people you are close to is a different matter.

Totally agree OP, it’s very liberating. For me, I’ve also given less of a fig about what others think the older I’ve got. I mentioned similar in the office this week to one of my colleagues in her 20s & she sighed “I can’t wait to be like that” 😂

When my daughter was in reception she was in an assembly parents were invited to. She picked her nose in front of everyone. I spoke to her at the end of the school day. She said "don't worry you were the only person looking at me" :D