AIBU to say that romance is dead/on a budget?

[NellesVilla]

First date in about 10 years.

I’m the first to admit that I don’t really like men, have any interest in them/sex/romance. I can’t lie.

Anyway, a friend (who will no longer be a friend after this 😆), set me up for a ‘date’ with her bf’s friend. Let’s call him Kevin (not real name- I would not date a Kevin, I feel).

Kevin picked me up in his car, drove like a maniac and failed to slow down even when I hid my face behind my hands, took me to a greasy spoon type Italian complete with grimly, sticky plastic place mats and commented on my eating skills, something along the line of ‘wow, you like to eat don’t you!’. He had no other conversational skills other than this really. I also paid for us which he did not protest about, which I found interesting.

To top it off this ‘gentleman’ presented me with a sweaty bar of fruit and nut and a wilted bunch of flowers from- I suspect- a petrol station.

Ffs. Is this normal? I refuse to count it as a date but it was so shit I thought I’d get it off my chest.

Whilst I eat said bar of fruit and nut…

🤔

Did he want sex afterwards? 😬

I always think going for a meal on a first date is a bit pressured. A couple of drinks in a local bar or cafe where neither of you are driving is more the norm.
Flowers and chocs is too much from someone you haven't yet established a connection with yet.

I think if you honestly have no interest in men or sex, that you should just shelve dating for now. What a waste of time and energy for you both.

Does your friend think that it is not necessary to have anything in common? After all the sheer desperation of being single will drive you both ( gratefully) into each other’s arms….

I’m the first to admit that I don’t really like men, have any interest in them/sex/romance.

Then it wouldn’t really matter if he had coasted at 20mph in a Rolls Royce Corniche on the way to Scott’s. You weren’t interested anyway. So why waste Kevin’s time, and then our time with this “anecdote” when you don’t want what anyone is selling?

I can’t lie.

Maybe not in your OP, but don’t kid yourself - you’re lying to yourself about not really having interest in men if you’re willing to waste your time going on a date

your story probably sounded funnier in your head, btw.

I know it all sounds ridiculous. Don’t really want to tell anyone irl and wanted to share. Such a waste of time and yes, @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz , you’re not wrong!

And @Dotcheck , no, nor desperate. Just thought I should have another ‘go’ tbh. And yup, happily single still!!

Sounds awful. Defo agree with PP who said a dinner date on a first date is pressured. On the payment note, did you offer to pay and he accept or how did that come about

I honestly thought this was going to be a scene from Only Fools and Horses.

I offered to pay, @Confusion101. The bill came, he looked down at his plate and I sorted it. All a bit embarrassing tbh! I’m all for paying myself- no worries- as v independent etc, but he did look a bit tight! He was probably expecting a date who ate less pasta so maybe the cost was slightly higher than expected? But I didn’t drink so it couldn’t have been that expensive 🤷‍♀️

It would seem to me that if you were interested in giving it another go you would have gone on a date with someone you had met before and felt interested in. Going on a setup date is only going to confirm that it’s shit so to speak.

I’m guessing you weren’t actually giving off vibes that you were having any fun, so I don’t really blame him for not bringing his A game as it were.

Really a waste of time for both of you if you’re not open to a relationship of any kind.

I admire you for trying, OP.
He really didn't sound much of a prize. Poor you.

I was being sarcastic- that some people think being single is so awful that you’d be happy with anyone

You’re not wrong, @Dotcheck !!