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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My year of solitude ✨

121 replies

fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 18:12

So! You have a year entirely to yourself to do exactly as you wish... and spend time in solitude rurally in a cabin, or similar. Somewhere in nature to rejuvenate the soul and enjoy the simpler things in life.

How would you spend your time?

Okay so not an AIBU, but please share things that you would like to do to occupy yourself and create fulfilment. I'm gathering inspiration for how I would like to spend a year out away from the trials and tribulations of modern life and the intensity of city-dwelling. Recovering from depression. Also its unlikely I would be able to do this for an entire year so its fantasy, in large part, but we'll see!

So far on the list I have:
Cooking (and eating)
Walking - lots and lots of walking
Yoga
Reading
Swimming (somewhere secluded)
Painting
Writing
Being in nature
Minimal phone, internet and laptop usage
Therapy
Meditation
A consistent sleep routine

What would be on your list?

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:42

ofwarren · 24/09/2022 18:19

Do we have unlimited money?

I'd create a little smallholding where I'd milk goats to make cheese and soaps and use the wool to knit with.

I'd take my camera and spend lots of time taking photos of wildlife.

I'd foster lots of cats as I'd miss my cats from home.

I'd create a big bird feeding station and try to get as many species as possible to come to it.

I'd dig a pond to attract lots of wildlife like frogs and newts

Lots of walking through the countryside

Eating as many meals outdoors as possible

Vegetable and herb garden

I could honestly live like this forever. It's my dream.

I hadn't really thought through the question of unlimited funds. But I suppose the answer is yes.

I very much like your smallholding idea!

When it is time for you to return home who would get the cats that you have fostered?! Or would you amalgamate this particular herd with the one from home? Intense thoughts..

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:43

ivykaty44 · 24/09/2022 18:19

I’m presently traveling and have hit the west cost of Portugal.

many people here are on pilgrimage to Santiago

for me the sea, wind, salt are thearapy, along with cycling and camping

Bliss.

I would like some of this sea, wind, and salt therapy!

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:43

XmasElf10 · 24/09/2022 18:22

Can I bring my dog? Despite being an introvert lockdown taught me that solitude doesn’t suit me as much as I thought and I like to see people and go where people are, I just don’t particularly want to talk to them!

Yes bring your dog!

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Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:48

JustlookingNotbuying · 24/09/2022 18:35

This is my idea of heaven.
I would buy a big fifth wheel trailer, for a bit of luxury and pitch it up in the countryside with a view of a valley or a big lake or river.
Not complete solitude as I would need to bring my dog and we would spend our days walking and exploring. Sitting and watching nature.
I’d listen to relaxing music and learn to meditate.
I would take up watercolour paining, pottery and silversmith (ing!) and have a little workshop next to my trailer and would spend the day making all kinds of lovelies with my dog Bear snoozing in his bed under my work bench, I’d have classical music tinkling in the background.
Are you going to do this for real op? I am very envious if your are.
I too have depression and a very anxious and stressed life atm. Getting away in solitude sounds like bliss right now.

Pottery and silversmithing sounds wonderful!

No no, not going to do it for real I don't think - just fantasy at the moment. But I would very much like to. If time permits in the next few years then it is a possibility.

I am sorry to hear that you are also battling depression. It is such a dreadful cliche (though perhaps cliches are cliche for a reason?) but I have found that getting out in nature really does help to relieve depressive symptoms to an extent. 200mg of sertraline daily also imperative for keeping me from becoming totally unhinged though!

I hope that you find some peace and calm soon 🧡

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Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:49

BamBamBilla · 24/09/2022 18:39

Read books. Cook on an open fire. Wash clothes by hand. Long walks. Birdwatching. Foraging. Gardening. Making preserves.

@BamBamBilla What is the allure of washing clothes by hand? Genuine question. I would like to try...

What are the benefits?

Would you use a washboard or just freestyle it?

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 24/09/2022 20:54

Finish all my Xbox and ps4 games.

Currently been playing as assassins creed odyssey for last 2 weeks and spent 50 hours on it. Another 50 to goi reckon!

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:54

Everylittlethingsgonnabealright · 24/09/2022 19:18

My list would be pretty much the same as yours, OP, except I’d maybe add teach myself piano and write. Maybe running instead of walking.

My aim is to make real life as much of this as possible tbh! - to make real life sustainable and pleasurable so that holiday time is a bonus rather than something you desperately need.

My aim is to make real life as much of this as possible tbh! - to make real life sustainable and pleasurable so that holiday time is a bonus rather than something you desperately need.

Yes. ^ exactly this.

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Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:57

JillFromHolt · 24/09/2022 19:23

Ooh all of yours plus:

-Get a telescope and astronomy books and learn about the stars
-Have some kind of skincare routine/lovely smelling lotions and take care of myself
-Finally learn how to use my sewing machine and knit
-Learn a language/study a new subject as well

Just imagining this life is slowing my heart rate down!

A skincare routine is definitely included in my solitude utopia!

OP posts:
YesitsBess · 24/09/2022 20:58

If anyone is thinking of doing this, I’m looking for someone to caretake my place in Spain on the edge of a lovely village! Peppercorn rent, no Wi-Fi, sadly also no goats for cheese making….

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 20:58

HangryBerd · 24/09/2022 19:34

I did similar for lockdown, but on a boat - wild swimming, walking, kayaking, guitar, photos, reading, yoga, watching the sunset, meditation, studying, cooking... in many ways it was idyllic but be careful what you wish for. Isolation isn't a miracle cure for MH issues - the loneliness can make things worse and I'm still struggling to reintegrate into society.

Adding watch the sunrise and sunset to my list. Thank you for the inspo!

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risefromyourgrave · 24/09/2022 21:01

My dream is to go and live in a lighthouse, just me and my dog. A proper ‘waves crashing against the rocks’ lighthouse. Either that or become a long distance lorry driver, again with my dog. I’m sure I’d miss my 3 DC and DH eventually……

My favourite character when I was little was Long Distance Clara, and my favourite book was The Lighthouse Keeper’s Lunch. I’ve always been an unsociable bugger.

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 21:01

HangryBerd · 24/09/2022 19:34

I did similar for lockdown, but on a boat - wild swimming, walking, kayaking, guitar, photos, reading, yoga, watching the sunset, meditation, studying, cooking... in many ways it was idyllic but be careful what you wish for. Isolation isn't a miracle cure for MH issues - the loneliness can make things worse and I'm still struggling to reintegrate into society.

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling to reintegrate 🙁

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puddingandsun · 24/09/2022 21:06

So much I want to read- I won't have time for anything else.

Also learning a new skill: a new language, learning to knit/ crochet (new stitches if you already know a bit), pottery, coding.

FrownedUpon · 24/09/2022 21:07

Swimming in the sea, walking, yoga, growing veg, reading, meditation, eating lovely food & getting lots of sleep. Bliss.

Slavetotherhythm · 24/09/2022 21:08

I finished mine 6 months ago. I’m 45 and went through divorce. My one year was spent writing and publishing a book 😌

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 21:08

Shitfather · 24/09/2022 20:22

I’m 45 and have given up on the idea of meeting someone following my divorce. I want to get DC to uni (or whatever allows him to stand up
on his feet) and have a life like this. I’d like books, subscription to the New Yorker, radio, podcasts, yoga, meditation, a bike, cat. I’d like to be by the sea. I’d worry about nobody knowing I’d died (but it would be irrelevant if I did).

Why would it be irrelevant if you died @Shitfather ?!

I am sure your DC would not think so... and I would not find it irrelevant (!), even though we do not know each other.

I like the New Yorker subscription one - going to add that and similar to my list. Thanks :)

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HilarityEnsues · 24/09/2022 21:11

To counter depression, I think I need to feel meaningful or have a purpose and this would feel a bit aimless to me, it doesn't mean it is, I'm just not very good at relaxing for relaxings sake, not for whole months anyway. Would write half finished book (no work writing though), get back into painting, online shop? Would need way more social time as well, would prefer city flat, high ceilings, painted white, lots of coffee shops nearby.

Atreus · 24/09/2022 21:12

It wasn’t for a year…but I did step away from ‘normal life’ a little while ago and walk 1000 km across Spain on the Camino Frances. Incredible incredible experience. Lots of time for reflection and solitude but also an amazing community of interesting people from all over the world walking at a similar time for when you wanted company. Some folk walk the Camino for religious reasons but most that I met were, like me, doing it as a chance to reset and have some headspace whilst undertaking a physical challenge in some beautiful scenery. It took me 6.5 weeks to go from St Jean Pied de Port in France, over the Pyrenees, across Spain to Santiago de Compostela and then onto the Atlantic Ocean at Finisterre and Muxia. You don’t have to do the whole thing at once, lots of people do it in sections or there are shorter Caminos like the one in Portugal a previous poster mentioned. I honestly can’t recommend doing something like this enough!

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 21:12

burnoutbabe · 24/09/2022 20:54

Finish all my Xbox and ps4 games.

Currently been playing as assassins creed odyssey for last 2 weeks and spent 50 hours on it. Another 50 to goi reckon!

This is cool, and committed!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 24/09/2022 21:13

A good clean pool I could swim /float in
A wood burner and lots of wood
A good supply of books

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 21:14

YesitsBess · 24/09/2022 20:58

If anyone is thinking of doing this, I’m looking for someone to caretake my place in Spain on the edge of a lovely village! Peppercorn rent, no Wi-Fi, sadly also no goats for cheese making….

Fab! How long for @YesitsBess ?

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 21:15

risefromyourgrave · 24/09/2022 21:01

My dream is to go and live in a lighthouse, just me and my dog. A proper ‘waves crashing against the rocks’ lighthouse. Either that or become a long distance lorry driver, again with my dog. I’m sure I’d miss my 3 DC and DH eventually……

My favourite character when I was little was Long Distance Clara, and my favourite book was The Lighthouse Keeper’s Lunch. I’ve always been an unsociable bugger.

This sounds idyllic...

OP posts:
YesitsBess · 24/09/2022 21:17

As long as you can get leave to remain for I guess? I’ve no intention of selling it for a few years, and no intention of going back really. Would be nice to have some life in the place though 😊

Original poster
fizzythoughts · 24/09/2022 21:19

Slavetotherhythm · 24/09/2022 21:08

I finished mine 6 months ago. I’m 45 and went through divorce. My one year was spent writing and publishing a book 😌

! where did you spend the time @Slavetotherhythm

Sounds like a year well spent! Congratulations on publishing.

OP posts:
TheHoundsOfHell · 24/09/2022 21:19

I think this would give me ptsd.