To ask those of you with toddlers…

[AisforApplePie]

What a typical day or weeks looks like? I’m struggling to entertain my two year old. Single parent, no nursery and no one around to take DC off me, so it’s me from 6am till bedtime with a nap in between, 7 days a week. Also DC has a very short attention span.

what activities do you do during the day and on weekends? Obviously there’s parks and taking the bike out etc, but I’m thinking more in the home? I got out the drawing pens today and after 2 minutes DC was done. I’ve a lot of time to fill!

if you and your toddler are together all day, what do you get up to?

I didn't think child maintenance payments are counted towards your household income OP, Even if they are a private arrangement rather than through CMS.
I would check again.

Make mini cupcakes, I buy the Betty Crocker cake mixes and then split them and use half at a time, just add some milk and egg. Silicone baking tray from Poundland (we have pumpkin ones!)

The key is measure everything first into little pots then let them throw it in a big bowl and mix, it saves a lot of mess that way.

takes up and hour by time you cook and let them cool then put a tiny bit of icing on each cupcake.

We also have teddy bear picnics, make up a little sarnie and crisps then read some books on the floor with the picnic.

water play - if possible outside, couple of washing up bowls of water, some bubble bath and then them put some plastic toys in to “clean”

make a den, sheets over some chairs. Put a duvet on the floor, put the iPad in there with a snack.

poundland do some great craft activities- really simple stuff that doesn’t include any stitching or glueing, just little scratchy picture sets or foam puppets etc. You could go and spend a fiver and buy quite a few bits and spread them out over a few days doing different crafts.

Blackberry picking - take a Tupperware pot and go and find blackberry bushes, get them to help you pick them then put them in a crumble with a couple of apples and a pre made crumble mix.

I know you said you're not entitled to the free childcare but it might be worth making an appointment with CAB or similar to make sure you're definitely getting everything you're entitled to. I think if you are separated and DH is paying maintenance you might still be entitled to claim some benefits.

@BatshitBanshee I'm interested in the fairy garden idea - are you able to share how you set this up/what you make?

Also going to try Betty crocker!

I was in the same boat in that I couldn't afford nursery so was trying to find things to fill the days!
We'd go out in the morning for a walk and to the park etc, and then home for lunch and a quiet afternoon. Also things like swimming are good.

But don't feel you have to fill your days - encourage independent play as much as possible now and you'll be grateful in the long run (believe me!)

Child maintenance isn’t included for the calculations for universal credit so definitely check again.

Go out every day. Playgroups, parks, soft play, walks etc. typical routine-
Bfast 730
Dress 830
Outing 930
Lunch 12
Activity- craft/reading etc 1230pm
Nap 130pm
Toys or garden 330pm
Tea 430pm
Tv 530pm
Bath 630pm
Bed 7pm

Sure! We got some cute (and cheap!) flower pots on Amazon and our local garden centre, some in rainbow colours, some made to look like little fairy dens and then some little shrubs and seasonal flowers and arranged them on a bed outside. Picked up some little fairy doors and figures in some home store to add to it. She loves it, goes to check it everyday. Added some small spots for birdseed and little wildlife figures and it's a cute little corner for her. We also got some solar toad stool lights... You can make it what you want to be honest, but I will say my LO has great fun in particular organising her pots and the colours etc.

I found having a good weekly routine helped take away the mentally load of planning. Daily independent times, where you supervise with a cup of tea and book and toddler plays, daily toddler group/activity; a church group, library rhyme time, forest group etc. Vary them, and commit (just to yourself) to go, that way you make friends. Afternoons have a housework (toddler plays/naps) slot, a quick outing (park/post office/shops/play date) slot then TV while you cook. Structure that suits you both will allow you to rest, thrive and relax- and hopefully enjoy your time at home together. This would suit me, find what suits your natural routines.

You 100% need mum friends/regular groups! I get really depressed and feel like groundhog day when I don't have this.

I have 3 groups I go to regularly - a coffee meet up every Wednesday, then two which run on Fridays so I alternate weeks.

Tend to also try and meet up one on one with a friend or family member another day of the week, so that's 3 days socialising. For a meet up I would invite someone to my house, or we would go to theirs, or if it's nice we might meet at a park, if rainy then the pool, soft play, etc. If you don't know anybody to do this with, the groups (or even paid classes) are important. Try to go to the same things regularly so that you get to know the people who come all the time and make an effort to talk to people and remember things about their kids and ask them about them. That can then lead to being added to whatsapp groups or just asking somebody one on one if they want to have a coffee or visit you at home.

Then on another day I'd run errands/do something out of the house like take toddler swimming on my own or visit local museum, let them wander around IKEA etc.

The meet up/activity would take up half the day (generally the morning).

In the afternoons/on my home day, I tend to try and do some basic cleaning jobs, or sit on my computer with a coffee, while toddler plays with toys. We might go for a walk to local woods or park. (We have waterproofs but I don't go out on every rainy day). I might help him build a train track to play with, or I have a tub of old rice/quinoa (dried) that we use as a kind of sand game to practice scooping and pouring. Water play on the balcony if it's hot. Make obstacle courses in living room/bedroom. Simple board games (2.5y+), colouring, playdoh (3y+), glue/cut/stick (3y+), reading stories, TV, marble run (18m+), jigsaws.

I have toys they can play with alone, whcih are always accessible, and activities that I would help with or supervise more closely, which are kept higher up or in closed cabinets. I would sometimes set up some of the "play alone" toys, or just leave the drawer (etc) open.

What about sensory trays? Baking?

Hi OP,

im sure other have said it but play dates with similar aged mums and tots were total life savers for me. We had regular play dates two mornings a week which really helped break things up: just playing In Someone else’s house was a novelty and meant I had some adult company.

also turning Mundane stuff into an event - so instead of doing a bit of baking we’d be setting up for teddy’s birthday - ‘Writing’ a shopping list, going shopping, baking cake when you get back and then having a party for teddy could fill a whole day if I stretched it out!

daytime baths also killed some time!

i had a large sensory tray that I’d try and put something interesting in every couple of days, sometimes it was lentils, or play dough or jelly etc… it didn’t occupy for long but the prep and clean up time made it feel a bit longer, and I felt like I’d provided something stimulating for them (for 5 mins before coco melon went back on ;)

junk modelling - literally raiding the recycling bin and seeing what we could do with it: floating milk cartons in the bath and calling them boats or sliding toys on cereal packets down the stairs (lockdown made us inventive!)

den building and playing with torches in the den

lots of reading story books

its gets easier OP from about 3 and half mine would play by themselves for a bit and I didn’t need to provide full time entertainment - as I speak they’ve made their own den and have been playing in it (pretending to be mice) for the last half hour whilst I’ve had a shower and a coffee! Bliss!

When I did entitled to it said it was? He gives me £750 a month to pay for bills and food etc, and it said that meant I was entitled to nothing? I have tried to call the CAB but they never answer the phone

I would definitely check that again OP, put the payment from DH under child maintenance and see if you get a different outcome.

Do you have any other income OP? What is your housing situation?

Entitled to asks about child maintenance and spousal maintenance. The former is what you are receiving and it doesn't count for benefits. Spousal maintenance would, but that's rarely given in this country. Child maintenance definitely doesn't count, you'd be eligible not only for a fair chunk of Universal Credit, but also the free nursery hours.

I'm recently separated, and the free nursery hours are a godsend! I only currently use 6 of them, but two mornings a week to get shopping and chores done in peace is great.

Get out of the house everyday (the greatest majority of days at least), at the very least for a walk. Trust me, it'll make a difference 😉