Get new job? Get signed off? Help!

[HairBow]

Reposting as no replies overnight 😞 I started a new job internally this year, quite a change as admin but same grade and I hate it. I'm constantly anxious, freezing and forgetting stuff, manager is breathing down my neck to manage the team and huge workload with limited knowledge. I feel like a wreck and it's impacting on DH and kids.
In my last role I didn't need dyslexia adjustments. Declared to employer and on application form too. Issues are recall, remembering dates, learning process. I use lots of coping strategies like writing everything down, diary/calendar, planning workload, reminders for dates etc.
Despite this I've made mistakes (some due to poor training by colleagues giving me wrong info, when I told manager she viewed it as my problem) and the situation has knocked my confidence so much I can't cope.
Training when I started was specific to that point in the year. I've asked for more I.T training but been told the issue is accuracy and speed. I just can't telepathically know what long serving team members do. I work early/late/read up at weekends but it's not enough. I can feel the managers frustration, she now wants to 'support' me with adjustments but really she's trying to manage me out.
I can't hand my notice in due to money, but am looking at other internal jobs but my confidence is rock bottom. However hard I try it's wrong and I'm exhausted. I've also got some physical health problems but was 'encouraged' to come back to work when still unwell. I now need to come into the office daily as it will 'help.' This takes away the only quiet respite I had. The goal posts are constantly moved re work, emails not cc'd into, situations where 'we did this two years ago' (how could I possibly know when I was not there???) etc. I feel so anxious and low I can't think straight. WWYD?

Bump

Your mentions of internal jobs and same grade etc make me wonder - is it civil service? Or some public sector job. If so I would contact your union and explain everything you've said here.

You need structured training and support. Anyone would struggle to learn a new job under those conditions. The fact that you are also ND means that they're not doing enough.

I wouldn't necessarily dismiss your manager's offers of support though - if it came down to a dispute/tribunal (not saying it would) you would be in a better position if you had accepted the support on offer.

Thanks for your reply @takealettermsjones It's public sector type job. I am going to accept the support and am grateful for it. Just feel so overwhelmed. I briefly spoke to the Union who were helpful, but maybe I need to go back to them with more details. I've just got terrible anxiety because of the situation and feel awful

Is there any possibility of moving back to your old job or something similar?

@bridgetreilly I've applied for a role similar to my old one today. Am desperately hoping my parents ld job gets advertised (it's only a manager role currently - which I could do as have lots of experience but my confidence is too low)

Typo - previous job

I've booked a meeting in with the Union today, hopefully for some support

Bump

This sounds like university administration! I wish I could offer some advice but unfortunately I'm in a similar situation (although I am extremely lucky that my managers are very vocally supportive but the practical support is non existent). If it is cyclical like university admin, the thing that is keeping me going is once the year is over, it won't all be new and we would have done it once before.

Otherwise I'd just stick it out until you are able to find something else! Don't be afraid to leave for something else if the job is truly making you unhappy!

I think it’s time to get HR involved, if you can. Email to HR and your manager reminding them that you have dyslexia, that there is a need for reasonable adjustments in order for you to be able to perform your job correctly, and request an assessment to ensure you have the appropriate tools, as well as additional tailored training to permit you to use any proprietary systems that may be needed. Be clear that both the tools and any additional training are necessary because you have a disability and the training provided not only didn’t take that into account, it was not adequate to the needs of your job beyond a limited part of your function.

Depending on what specifically seems to be causing issues, you might want one bit of software called Read & Write, which just sits there as a bar across the top of your screen so you can get it to read out blocks of text to you. The other thing that may help is something like Dragon Naturally Speaking, as that not only does transcription, there are many bits of software where it can also let you speak commands, which might also make it easier to get to grips with things.

It may be that they have access to a workplace occupational therapist who can help identify tools that would help you thrive. The ones I’ve mentioned are ones I have not because I’m dyslexic, but because I have other issues, although I have dyslexic friends who use them and say they help. But there may be better things: everyone is different :)

But the key is to ensure HR see the words “reasonable adjustments” because that’s a clear signal that your manager’s behaviour is veering towards disability discrimination without having to make an open accusation. Most decent employers would rather try to resolve things than risk getting sued. Also, with an internal move, if you’ve been with the employer for more than 2 years you’ll have accrued other rights and they’ll want to avoid a constructive dismissal claim if the manager tries to force you to quit.

I hope the meeting with the union is helpful. It may be that there is additional help and support available from a charity that supports dyslexic people, who will not only be able to recommend tools, they may also have an advocacy department that can help you get what you need.

I would look for another job

They sound really unsupportive and unhelpful - and whilst your dyslexia could be part of the issue, they also just sound plain old toxic. Who on earth can manage with someone breathing down their neck?

I was a bit confused by the part where you mentioned asking for IT training only to be told the issue is accuracy and speed. It’s hard to know what the situation or issue is there? I understand you don’t want to reveal too much. Is it for a task that you used to do in your previous role?

I think the key is in your last line. You’re so anxious, you can’t think straight. It’s affecting your life at home. What do you think about trying to get signed off for a week, or take some leave, and come back with a fresh perspective on it? A bit of distance will help you see more clearly.

Thanks for all the replies! @incywincyspiders you may be right lol. I have thought that but I don't know how long I can stand it tbh. Anxiety is fluctuating and can't make a decision.

@GrumpyInsomniac thanks for your reply. My dyslexia is memory related and there are just so many tasks coming at me I don't know where to start or what to prioritise. HR are in the loop and OH. But I don't have the report as it was so many years ago, have contacted old employer but no luck yet and I can't afford to pay £500+ for a new assessment unfortunately. Good to know re constructive dismissal thanks.

@RunnerDuck2020 I am but want to stay in the same organisation - I've worked hard to get to my grade/salary and don't want to lose my pension etc.

@Shelaydownunderthetable yes you're right, it is so toxic sadly. No different I.T systems and job completely different too but same grade. I think I may have to, but am worried if I get offered an interview in the meantime it will look bad if I'm signed off. Also manager told me not to take any more time off (even though only been off due to covid and two days for an ongoing health reason) and made me feel like my job was in jeopardy. It's so hard to know what to do! I have heard from someone else in my Dept the manager has 'form' for this and at one point several people were off sick with stress.

You can always give me a private message if you want. I'm happy to give more advice over DM ☺️

Thanks @incywincyspiders much appreciated! I had an interesting meeting with other staff of my grade/role this morning, they all said I'm being given work below my grade as well as that of my role, so no wonder I'm struggling! Had some good news today as I've got an interview (same organisation, fixed term, lower grade but less stress) so I might be able to escape!!!

Oops name change fail