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To not like a man who's perfect for me

38 replies

divhead · 23/09/2022 20:19

I met a guy in a bar. I was so astounded by how handsome he was that I actually went over and told him. I've never done that before!

It turns out we have so much in common. We both have twin boys, both massively into badminton, similar backgrounds, everything.

We have the exact same sense of humour and crack each other up via text each day.

Something is just not clicking for me though and I'm starting to wonder if I'm the issue!

I find myself avoiding sex with him, flirting with other guys and I don't look forward to our dates.

I can't work out what the bloody problem is: he's exactly what I've been looking for for years

Do I persevere here? He's exactly the sort of person is should be dating AND he's physically my exact type:

Or do I listen to my instinct and move on? I'm supposed to see him tonight and I'm not even excited!

OP posts:

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 26/09/2022 16:45

If you are not in to him, break it off. It's unfair that you are stringing along someone while you are trying some odd forced experiement of making it work because he looks good on paper.


Bugeyedowl · 26/09/2022 16:48

Is he just perfect, but 'blah'?


Choconut · 26/09/2022 16:53

Do you think you're worried he's too amazing and so have decided to ruin things before he gets the chance to realise you're not good enough for him? Or is there just no chemistry? Although if by chemistry you want someone who plays hard to get and messes you around then you need to look at your idea of chemistry and think about what a good relationship actually looks like.


PToosher · 26/09/2022 16:56

When my partner and I met we had a mutual friend that had a boyfriend that was 'perfect for her'. They got on really well, similar sense of humour, he was popular amongst our other friends, etc. She decided that it wasn't exciting enough, so she dumped him.
35 years on, she's unhappily single following numerous failed short 'exciting' relationships.


JennyJenny8675309 · 09/04/2023 06:55

girlmom21 · 26/09/2022 16:43

Stop wasting him time. You're not looking for a healthy relationship. You want a fuck boy who's going to hurt you.

I think you’re right.


Busybutbored · 09/04/2023 07:15

Yep you're the issue! You said it 🤷‍♀️


GCAcademic · 09/04/2023 07:38

Honestly, OP, there are loads of emotionally unavailable dishonest dickheads out there, if that’s what floats your boat. Let this poor man go.


Forgooodnesssakenow · 09/04/2023 08:07

divhead · 24/09/2022 02:37

Well, I had my date with him and came away feeling really 'meh'. I found myself actually looking for problems with him.

Interestingly, despite things not totally clicking, I've really enjoyed every date I've had with him. This was the first one where I haven't come away feeling really positive.

(I realise saying I've been feeling positive about him is at odds with the topic of the post, but I have been enjoying his company while still realising something was 'off').

I still enjoyed it but by the end of the night, I really wanted to leave.

No chemistry means not perfect for you.


JMSA · 09/04/2023 08:59

Let him go so that he can find someone lovely.


JMSA · 09/04/2023 09:01

And why the fuck would he be meeting your friends when you're not even into him? Do you not have the emotional intelligence to know that a step like this would come further down the line?


StagsLeap · 09/04/2023 09:06

You said, you’re the issue, OP. End it and try to work on developing greater emotional intelligence.


TimeForMeToF1y · 09/04/2023 09:06

JennyJenny8675309 · 09/04/2023 06:55

I think you’re right.

How annoying, I was hoping there was going to be an update by the end of the thread, poor form to resurrect and disappoint 😀


JMSA · 09/04/2023 09:44

So annoying 🙄

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