Reception play fighting

[majormumma]

My DS just started reception and I’ve been told a group of them have been playing rough, including DS. I’m mortified, have spoken to him about how it’s not going to happen again and under no circumstances does this play fighting continue. I spoke to the TA and she explained it’s a group of them that are playing more boisterously and it’s not being done nastily.
Anyway, at the gate yesterday I was chatting to another mum, she said that DS had also hit her DS, to which I was again, mortified and apologetic. She said that she’d spoken to the teacher and didn’t want to be snidey, that this had happened last week and she was sorry for not saying sooner (I didn’t think anything of it). But to be honest I just can’t stop thinking about this first impression and the fact she said to me “you’ve got to defend your child” when she explained talking to the teacher. Has this happened to anyone else? DS hasn’t mentioned anything to me and I’m feeling like a shitty mum.

She shouldn't have told you she's spoken to the teacher. My number one rule when dealing with child interaction issues that happen at school is to speak to school and let them sort it and to say nothing to the other parents about it. That way it's not personal, there are no adult dramas, and no one looks like a dick when their DC are best buds again five minutes later.

Also don't feel awful. The play fighting and rough play is very normal for this age group, they've only been in school a few weeks and they'll very quickly learn the social rules of group play.

I’m confused.
A few four year olds were play fighting. It was dealt with. Parents were informed and it hasn’t happened again since.
What are you fretting about?

My children are both boisterous and play fight with their friends (boys & girls). In reception they are figuring out who is who and how they play. The friends they made in reception have remained friends... and they still play quite roughly but they all enjoy it! Occasionally there is a bumped head but it's not malicious and they all seem to accept it comes with the territory. There will be children who hate rough play... they'll soon figure it all out.

@FarmerRefuted

Totally agree with this comment ; sounds like a precious parent OP, keep a wide berth. Most kids especially the boys do this play fighting in reception - if the school haven’t talked to you about it don’t worry at all! I’d be upset too if a parent said this to me but just ignore them x

I think that’s also my thought about this parent, I’m already a bit cautious of her but didn’t know if my opinion was being clouded by my feelings of embarrassment. She seems very well connected to the school and asking me strange questions. Will keep a wide berth.

Thanks for your replies

What can you do about it? They're little children and you weren't there. The other mum needs to talk to the teacher about it so the teacher/TA can keep an eye in the playground and deal with incidents as soon as they happen.

My DC (same age) will occasionally tell me that they've been hit by someone or even that they've hit someone (not so much at school yet, but it happened a few times at nursery). Since I have no clue what actually happened, I usually just remind my DC that we don't hit people, it's not kind and we get in trouble for it, and if anyone hits us we should ask them not to and move away and tell the teacher. When I talk to the staff, it usually turns out to be an accident ("mummy, this boy kicked me in the face!" Turned out they were climbing trees and my DC got a wellie in their face but was fine at the time) or a game they've got carried away with.

She seems very well connected to the school and asking me strange questions.

it’s incredibly frustrating when some parents decide that because they know a couple of staff more personally, or they volunteered once, that they’re an extension of the school disciplinary team.

Will keep a wide berth.

agreed I would.