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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is wrong with me? OBSESSED with cleaning.

35 replies

mioz · 23/09/2022 14:25

I am obsessed with having a clean house, to the point where it's affecting my life. I have to clean the whole house, top to bottom (dust, vacuum, mop, bathrooms, mirrors, etc etc) every single morning without fail or my anxiety is through the roof. This can take hours some days. I have 2 young kids and work full time so I know in my logical mind its not sustainable but I can't stop myself. Mess makes me feel chaotic, a single spec of dust can change my mood. Why am I like this?! I secretly fume at my husband and kids when they go upstairs after I've vacuumed the carpet, he thinks i'm mental (and I know I am) as I have to go up after them and re-hoover. What is wrong with me? I've been this way as long as I can remember but it's definitely worse since my kids were born.

OP posts:
mioz · 23/09/2022 17:20

TwoCoffeesPlease · 23/09/2022 16:19

Hi OP,

I understand how you feel regarding anxiety if you haven’t cleaned. I don’t think I clean as much as you do but I am still told by other people it is too much.

Something that keeps it in check for me is cleaning ONE thing every morning before work (plus wiping down the kitchen and putting stuff away).
Eg.
Monday: sweep and mop
Tuesday: dusting
Wednesday: bathrooms
Thursday: hoovering
Friday: home offices

Then on Saturday OR Sunday mornings I have my “big clean” where I do pretty much everything. For me this serves the purpose of feeling in control of the house without it interfering with my work etc.

How would doing one thing a day and a bit clean at the weekend feel for you?

Thank you. I have tried this before but quickly felt overwhelmed - maybe I’ll try again!

OP posts:
Toffeewhirl · 24/09/2022 02:12

@mioz - Sertraline doesn't get rid of the OCD, but it reduces the associated anxiety, so it's more bearable.

My son's OCD started when he was about nine: he began counting to himself when he put his shoes on and would have to repeat certain actions over and over till things felt 'right'. Then he started worrying about contamination - food poisoning, catching illnesses from unclean plates, etc. The OCD got worse over time, until he had therapy with a psychologist who'd trained at the Maudsley. She did exposure therapy with him, where she encouraged him to tolerate the discomfort of doing the things that scared him. It worked really well and he wasn't bothered by the OCD again until Covid. Now it's back and worse than ever. He's in his 20s now.

OCD appears in all sorts of different ways. I have two friends with it: one has to clean her house from top to bottom every evening, no matter how tired she is; the other has the hand-washing type, but has overcome it through therapy.

From talking with my son, my 80-year-old mum has realised she has it too. She just never had a name for it before. She's learnt to live with it, but she's relieved to have discovered it's a recognised condition. For years, she kept it to herself because she didn't understand what was wrong or why she had these thoughts and compulsions. She thought she was the only one. At least now she knows it's a treatable condition.

Treatment is usually effective, although it involves hard work and determination. However, a good therapist will support you through all that. Waiting lists for treatment aren't great, so if you can afford private it's worth considering. It won't be cheap, though.

I think either OCD-UK or OCD Action offer free support groups which also give guidance in how to combat the OCD.

Please seek help. There's no need for you to suffer like this.

Toffeewhirl · 24/09/2022 02:16

I've just noticed you said you thought you didn't have OCD because you don't think people will die if you don't clean. In fact, often OCD sufferers are more tormented by a sense of unbearable wrongness if they don't do what their brain is telling them to do. It doesn't have to be about thinking terrible things will happen to people.

Chloefairydust · 24/09/2022 02:26

Have you tried setting out a cleaning rota that’s more manageable, planning out the cleaning throughout the week instead of trying to do it all in one day?

Maybe having a planned rota might help you still feel in control without being overwhelmed?

mioz · 24/09/2022 15:05

Thanks everyone for your replies. I feel like a rota is only really covering up the problem and it would quickly escalate again as I’d find it hard to stop once I’ve started cleaning. Having a particularly bad day today, think I’ve hoovered about 6 times already!

OP posts:
Marvellousmadness · 24/09/2022 16:03

Sounds like your life is out of control and you try to regain control by cleaning since that is the only thing you can control.

catandcoffee · 24/09/2022 16:08

When did this start ?
That may give you some clue.

mioz · 24/09/2022 16:21

catandcoffee · 24/09/2022 16:08

When did this start ?
That may give you some clue.

I’ve been a clean freak for as long as I can remember, but the real obsessiveness I think began around when I was pregnant with my eldest (who is 3.5)

OP posts:
ERHar · 05/03/2024 23:02

Hi I would to know how your getting on with this as your life sounds exactly like mine.
if you want to talk more I’m here on this thread awaiting your reply! Would love to chat to someone who is exactly like me! Xx

Bestyearever2024 · 05/03/2024 23:55

mioz · 24/09/2022 15:05

Thanks everyone for your replies. I feel like a rota is only really covering up the problem and it would quickly escalate again as I’d find it hard to stop once I’ve started cleaning. Having a particularly bad day today, think I’ve hoovered about 6 times already!

Please see your GP

You need help for your OCD

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