To feel guilty about this?

[Spicycurry]

We moved recently and live very remotely.

I don’t regret this as such but it feels like in order to do anything we have to drive so far. Today, toddler group and a supermarket trip and ds has been in the car seat for going on two hours

Is it just me? I really feel like it must be rubbish for him. But if we are going to do anything we have to drive!

Thanks. We aren’t miles away from a village, it’s two minutes in a car. It isn’t really possible to walk around here as it is a country lane without pavements and very fast cars.

I think the fact you said you lived very remotely and just going to toddler group and the supermarket involved a two hour commute there everyone. So basically you are not remotely remote and live two mins from a village?

I have clarified during the course of the thread. To get to town it’s around 30 mins. To get to a village where we can buy bread and milk more like 2. But it still seems to involve a lot of hauling a toddler in and out of a car seat!

I’m not seeing a reason for guilt? Lots of parents go out with a young child in a pram with a rain cover up. I’m not seeing how that’s really more fun or engaging than being in a car: it’s just something that sometimes needs to be done.

Wherever you live has upsides & downsides.

I agree @Saz12. Also, not every second of life has to be full-on entertainment and engagement.

When my baby was tiny, I stressed myself out about filling every second with something fun. My mother wisely told me that babies need thinking time, just like adults. We all need a little time to decompress and go through things in our head. So when my baby is in the car, that's what I think of him as doing. It also helps that he usually falls asleep in the car after about 10 minutes, so it doesn't feel like time wasted if that makes any sense. Not sure if you mentioned how old your DC is OP, sorry, but if he's of an age when he still naps then perhaps car trips could be timed with that so he just sleeps through it?

Op if you’re struggling with it, and there is no shame on that, then start to find ways round it. Get your shopping delivered or only go weekly to the supermarket, ask In the village hall or church if Any groups you can join, etc

your kid will be fine though.

I live somewhere similar Op. my dcs are older now but they spent probably 2 hours a day in the car most days (they used to come to work with me, had free childcare) and then another hour or so if we went somewhere in the afternoon. It was fine. Mine would nap a lot, and when they got a bit older (maybe 3-4) we got in-car DVD players so I used to listen to a lot of crappy kid films but never actually watch them.
The worst thing living somewhere like this is the cost of fuel - I drive about 1200 miles a month just to go to work/school run/go anywhere really and it’s not cheap these days. Hundreds of ££ a month.

I grew up rurally - every single day involved a car journey of various lengths. It was just normal to me.

My DC spent their early lives in the city - they never got in a car from week to week. We walked everywhere or took public transport. It was just normal to them.

You just adapt to your environment really. Learn to batch your tasks & errands - pick the toddler group that’s in a convenient place and at a convenient time to fit in a supermarket shop or a different errand etc. Do more outdoors near your house - a walk in the woods rather than a walk to the ducks in the town park. Get a swing set or climbing frame for the garden instead of play park etc. And make car journeys pleasant - audiobooks etc.

I really don’t think young kids are too bothered, though.