friend who smoked weed and drives gives out to me for speeding fine

[pfs]

ok 1st of all I don't smoke weed ever.

But anyway I was recently got speeding near my house. Yes that's wrong and I admit it 100 percent before anybody wants to try and roast me. I was wrong and that is not the aibu. It was my first ever offence in 20 years so not habit of it.

Anyway I told close friend, she used to smokes weed in the evening I know and drove under the influence. When I told her about my fine she bolloxed me taking the moral high ground etc. I only thought after that she gets into a car under the influence at times for years in the very recent past , I don't know when exactly but I've seen her driving after smoking. I'm mad I didn't call her out there and then but now the more I think of it the madder I get over her hypocrisy.

I don't want to harm the friendship but I nearly want to raise the speeding I got again so I can throw the dui in her face.

Not sure how her driving on drugs relates to you speeding. You are both wrong

You knew she was driving when high and didn't inform the police? You care more about her chastising you than you care about her potentially killing someone with her car?

Not sure how her driving on drugs relates to you speeding

because she is preaching to me on road safety when she's driving under the influence of an illegal drug. And I already said what I did was wrong.

You knew she was driving when high and didn't inform the police? You care more about her chastising you than you care about her potentially killing someone with her car

we live very remotely, nearest cop station 20 miles away and it's rarely opened or manned and they have little to no presence here,even if I informed bugger all be done. I've got in touch with them before over stuff and they were useless.

Think harder then, as its very obvious.

Your friends a gobshite, OP.

Think harder then, as its very obvious

i do think people post stuff like this to be deliberately obtuse.

Yes and life is unfair because you committed an offence and were caught but she did worse and didn’t get caught. She was self-righteous about it. If you value her as a friend over look it. If she brings it up again you might mention to her the time she has smoked weed and driven

Did you tell her she was wrong when you knew what she was doing?
Or do you only think she’s out of order now she’s lecturing you?

we live very remotely, nearest cop station 20 miles away and it's rarely opened or manned and they have little to no presence here,even if I informed bugger all be done

That's no excuse for not informing the police. What happens after is up to them .
Would you not inform them if she had half a bottle of vodka before driving either?

Call 101 / 999 and report her?

I think what irks me here is one of them cases where you think what you should have said during a moment/argument but you didn't and in the aftermath it pisses you off that you didn't.

Call 101 / 999 and report her

We live in very place not in UK, they'd laugh at you. They wouldn't stake her out.

It's called "L'esprit de l'escalier" which means "the wit of the staircase"....the act of thinking of the perfect retort only after you have left the encounter!

Yes and what is worse is I am terrible at defending myself so even if I'd thought iut at the time I'd still not have had the bottle to say it.

I nearly want to raise the speeding I got again so I can throw the dui in her face.
What purpose will this serve though? It sounds like you just want to say it out of spite, not something a friend would do imo.

Yes she might be hypocritical, however you're both in the wrong and it's an incredibly tit for tat childish way to handle this situation. "You're wrong" "Well you we're wrong first so neerrrrrrrr" ....

You didn't seem to have a problem with it in the past, not enough to call her out on it anyway. Has she learned from her mistakes? It's hard to decipher from your OP. If she doesn't smoke and drive anymore maybe she's had her eyes opened to the dangers of being a twat when driving, speeding included, and is trying to stop you from getting a record like she has.

I don't think there's any point throwing it back in her face, especially if you don't want to harm the friendship.

You could have just acknowledged your error like you have here.

You’re close friends with someone you know regularly gets behind the wheel in an unfit state to drive. And instead of ending your friendship because that person doesn’t give a shit that they’re a danger to other, innocent people, you’re annoyed because you weren’t able to put her in her place during an argument?

Neither of you get to claim the moral high ground here.

My reply to her would be "I don't think you have the right to take the moral high ground"

You’re close friends with someone you know regularly gets behind the wheel in an unfit state to drive. And instead of ending your friendship

yes on mn it's easy to end friendships/go nc with family/ltb/quit your job because of x,y and z but real life doesn't work like that.

Of course it does! Sometimes it takes a bit of time to get things organised (in the case of new jobs, separations etc), but real life absolutely does work like that. People come in and out of each other’s lives all the time. I certainly don’t demand perfection from my friends or family, but if someone is doing something I believe is morally reprehensible, then I don’t want to be around them. Remaining close to someone who repeatedly does a shitty thing, without calling them on it, is condoning their behaviour.

From the little you’ve written, you don’t sound like it was something that particularly bothered you about her before she told you off for speeding, so my point still stands. Neither of you get to claim the moral high ground. You’re not annoyed that she’s potentially going to kill herself or someone else. You’re only annoyed because you weren’t quick enough to put her in her place. So I still think that you’re being unreasonable.