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…to never join another committee again!

13 replies

McGingery · 22/09/2022 19:26

I have been on several committees over the years, but I have been in one a school related committee for over 4 years now. It is a charity that has a business element and that business massively struggled through lockdown. However we are out of the worse, the business is picking up and future is bright.

Why the AIBU post I hear you ask! Well a couple of months ago we discovered someone within the organisation was not particularly honest and it has taken hours out of my life (and other committee members) over the last few months, caused a great deal of stress to sort it all out. No thanks. No reward. No personal gain. Just unpaid work and stress. I have said I want to leave but can’t until someone takes my place and trying to recruit committee members is a nightmare!!

Please tell me some good happy committee stories to restore my faith in them!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

18 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
INeverSawAPurpleCow · 22/09/2022 19:29

Are you a trustee? You couldn't pay me enough to be a charity trustee. Absolutely thankless and you're completely exposed to massive egos, unless you're very unlucky.

Mayim · 22/09/2022 19:32

I have been in your shoes and put up a similar post at the height of my troubles. I had thought about how best to resign over a long period and was waiting for the 'right time'. In the end, something happened that meant that I could stand the stress no longer. I resigned and have to say that I have never felt better and don't miss it one bit. It would be a long time before I would consider doing anything similar again. Unfortunately this is not a happy story but sometimes you need to consider your own well-being.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 22/09/2022 19:32

Just unpaid work and stress.

Why on earth are you doing this?

My Mother was involved with lots of local charity projects, with lots of very willing local volunteers, but ultimately all were doomed due to a couple of people who were obsessed with 'having control' and who scared everyone else off.

She just quit in the end as she got so fed up with it all. Ultimately it is our village's loss. Bye bye library...

CruCru · 22/09/2022 19:33

You say you can’t leave - are you paid? If you’re a volunteer, you can’t be forced to keep going. I mean, what are they going to do, sack you?

Tell them that for personal reasons, you need to stop doing this particular volunteer role from {date}.

Aconitum · 22/09/2022 19:39

I was chairman of the parish council, trustee of the village hall and the village recreation ground as well as a Youth Club leader and one day after 10 years of crap I resigned from them all. One of the best days of my life.
Now what were you asking?..........

oneuptwodown · 22/09/2022 19:40

Many of these organization rely on people's goodwill and guilt and shame. It's part of the reason they're so heavily people by women.

Leave. Just do it. Don't feel bad about dumping on other people, don't feel an obligation to hand over nicely UNLESS you believe in the cause enough to carry the level of stress you're carrying right now.

Numperpickle · 22/09/2022 19:43

Yanbu. I will volunteer when I'm retired and not before. I've done the nursery committee, volunteered at playgroups, chuldren's charities, schools, was scout leader and a Brownie leader. The only one I loved was the playgroups. I'm doing that again if they'll have me when I'm retired.

AncientMariner · 22/09/2022 19:43


Trustee jobs are often thankless, and come with huge responsibility and stress.

Knittedfairies · 22/09/2022 19:44

I spent far too long serving on voluntary committees; as upthread, the day I resigned was wonderful! Don't try to find a replacement for yourself, just go - no more tirades about missing custard creams and teabags, or trying to work out how to afford more staff. Enjoy!

moggerhanger · 22/09/2022 19:45

Of course you can leave! It's not your problem to stay until a replacement is found. (I'm speaking as a serial committee volunteer, and I've quit in the past when it's been necessary for me to remain sane). So long as you provide the requisite notice, then go ahead.

Doubleraspberry · 22/09/2022 19:47

Run away! Committees are full of people who want to be helpful and give something back, who are bossed mercilessly by the other people on committees who are there on a huge power trip and say things like ‘as
of this moment in time I propose to refer this matter to the Steering Committee’.

I work with them professionally and have nothing to do with them in my personal life, as a matter of principle.

Saz12 · 22/09/2022 19:53

Just quit!

Loads of Committes try and insist that you find a replacement before you leave. It’s ridiculous really. Give plenty notice and quit. The only question is: IF the choice was for you to continue or the group folds due to lack of volunteers, which would you choose?

Hibernationsetting · 22/09/2022 19:58

No good news stories from me! My voluntary committee roles drive me to distraction and make me cry and scream far more than my children, my husband or my actual career ever have!

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