To discourage DD from doing an internship aboard?

[Rainorshineimamummy]

DD has just started university this September. She’s already talking about doing an internship from next September!! She’s talking about doing one aboard but I don’t think she would cope aboard due to her (albeit mild) SEN

Why on earth would discourage her?

I don't know about the rest of Europe but in the Scandinavian countries and Germany the interns are treated a lot better than in Britain, so it might actually be better for your DD to do it in one of those countries.

I would actively discourage anyone from taking an unpaid internship, but if it’s paid then ok.

My friend was offered an internship at Marie Claire in New York back in about 2002/2003 - it was unpaid. No idea how they expected her to live and work in Manhattan with no income.

My parents always discouraged me from doing anything abroad or outside of my (their) comfort zone.

As such, one of my huge regrets is not having lived and worked abroad.

Internships are very competitive and applications open (and close) early. If she wants to do one next year, she absolutely needs to be thinking about it and applying now.

I'm assuming she is living away from home whilst at University so presumably getting experience of living independently.

You know your DD best. Why do you think it would be difficult for her? What do you think would she struggle with?

FWIW, I know several people who were diagnosed later in life, one of whom was living alone and working abroad at 16, one who went off to a war zone to work as a volunteer at 18, and another who has had a very successful military career and was fighting in Iraq at that age. DS has ASD and is off to do a placement abroad in the spring.

I have autism, studied abroad, moved to a third country for work and the rest of my life. Please don't limit the future you imagine for her by saying she has autism.

Be more specific. Just saying she’s Autistic isn’t enough, it’s a wild, broad spectrum. I’m Autistic and would have been fine abroad. My 11YO is Autistic and frankly she’s got the stones to something like that now, let alone when she’s older.

Ffs don’t hold her back.

Does she speak the language or is it somewhere with many international people?

My parents dissuaded me from study abroad and I never forgave them. They didn't care, they were just interfering busybodies who ruined what could have been a great experience with their threats and whining. I don't speak to them anymore.

Let her live her life with her 'mild SEN' and butt out.

Much more constructive would be to help her think about what she wants to get out of it and how she does that, and any risks/ special considerations she might want to plan for.

You've been very open minded op, it's great you want to support your dd, I'm sure your desire to suggest she reconsiders comes from a place of love and concern. Its so scary loving someone so much and knowing what a tough world it can be sometimes.
It is our greatest act of courage to let someone go and stretch themselves especially when we are aware of their vulnerabilities.
But, her idea will be so good for her, expanding her horizons massively and all her mistakes and successes will add to her life experience and wisdom.
Like a pp said, help her make a positive plan and dream big of all the fabulous things she would like to do while away. Don't scare her but make sure she has a back up plan in her back pocket for the unexpected (emergency cash, phone number, whatever it might be)when I went abroad for the first time my parents made sure I didn't put all my essentials and valuables in one place in case of theft or loss, that i sussed out a taxi company while sober in case of needing to get home without friends... That kind of thing. It came in handy, while really jet lagged I feel asleep on the bus and someone stole my wallet, but it was OK as it didn't have everything in it.
I hope she wins the opportunity she wants and keeps on touch often enough for you to not worry too much.
I didn't get in touch for a month when I went away for the first time (after initial I've arrived safely phone call) 😱😱😱 I was so clueless, really had no idea how parents might be feeling. 🙈 It was pp-internet, but still... It wasn't pre phone!

What do you think she won't cope with? Are you absolutely sure it isn't your own anxieties that are putting you off?

Either way, I think it is her choice.

I did part of my nurse training in Finland and it was a wonderful experience.

Don’t hold her back OP.

Most universities will have provision for SEN. If she wants to go she should go - your job is to provide support and cheer her on. Don’t give her a reason to resent you.

Op I'd encourage her to complete her degree before taking a year to do internship or travel.

I think once you are away from studying for a year it can be hard to get back into it. Also her uni friends will have moved on a year so it's then trying to make new friends in 2nd year, who've bonded in first year.

But overall I'd encourage her to do it but study first.

I don't agree. It's incredibly common to have an integrated year in industry or year abroad as part of the degree. It's not like you leave uni completely. Some of her friends will have moved on but there will be plenty returning just like her. I found the new friends I made in 4th year were better friends than the ones I'd forged bonds with earlier on.

I know what an internship is 🙄 If she is capable enough to go to university, she should also be capable enough to move to another country for a bit. Seriously why are you not encouraging and supporting her? It seems like a wonderful opportunity.

She might not cope. She also might have the time of her life

She's an adult and her young years are the perfect time to try these things. You need to let her live.