To be devastated at how bad my snoring is!

[Questions99]

I’ve always known I snore a bit. But recently it has hit home and is ruining my life.
I had many operations on my ears when I was young and had adenoids removed etc. but I just seem to be incapable of sleeping with my mouth shut. Even if I do, the soft tissues in my throat close over, my tongue evidently slides back and then the room is shaking.
It seems to be getting worse as I get older and I’m panicking.
I have struggled with my weight all my adult life. Ironically I’ve been slowly losing (1lb a month slow) and building a healthier lifestyle, hitting the gym etc but it’s just not enough and I’m losing hope.
I downloaded an App to hear it and it’s really bad. I cry every time I hear myself. It’s the most humiliating thing you could hear from yourself and has battered my confidence.
I’m devastated.
I know weight loss is the number one solution but it takes time and it’s one thing I have always struggled with for many reasons.
Meanwhile I’m trying everything and spending whatever it takes- pillows, vapours, different positions, nose strips, mouth guards. Nothing seems to help me. It seems all the muscles in my throat go to jelly once I’m asleep and I’m just honking the night away and annoying the hell out of anyone in earshot.
DH is already in the spare room with no sign of coming back. That was bad enough and has taken me months to come to terms with.
Then DD tells me she dreads holidays (as we tend to share a room). We’re supposed to be away next weekend but I can’t face the shame and guilt of disturbing everyone.
I feel heart broken and stuck.
Not to mention unladylike, monstrous, embarrassed and unattractive.
I am starting to wonder if snoring is reducing my sleep quality (as well as everyone else’s) which might explain why losing weight is so damn hard for me too..
Is there any hope?!

Have you seen a doctor? Getting outside help seems a pretty logical first step.

I snore like a train, I don't feel any of the things you do. Certainly not heartbroken!

I'm a little overweight, a stone, but I snored when I was skinny too.

Definitely see your GP about it.

But please try to put it into context. Me and DH often sleep in separate rooms because we both like to spread and out and like a good night’s sleep. It doesn’t mean anything about our relationship!

That sounds (!) a bit like sleep apnea, you should consider going to the doctor. You may benefit from a CPAP machine (I think that is Constant Postive Airway Pressure) that keeps your airways open and stops you snoring. You do have to wear a mask though, but you can pretend you're a World War 2 bomber pilot if that helps.

Is it possible you have sleep apnoea? I snore like an absolute beast, and my partner has told me that sometimes I stop breathing. I'm waiting for a referral to the sleep clinic.

I snore, although it has got better since losing a bit of weight. I too felt really embarrassed if I had to share a room or go on holiday with anyone apart from husband and kids. GP thinks it could be sleep apnea so I was referred to a sleep clinic. I wore a contraption over one night but haven’t had the results back yet. Definitely see your GP. Could your family wear ear plugs?

Ask for a referral to a sleep
centre. A CPAP machine has transformed my life and my DH is no longer suffering the hideous noise all night.

Sounds like you have sleep apnea and you're probably not sleeping very well. My mum was a terrible snorer, I have once left the room we were sharing to sleep on the carpet downstairs as the hard floor was much better than the noise!
She now has a thing she puts in her mouth (she tried the machine but that was too uncomfortable), it looks like one of these removable dental device that some teenagers have. She doesn't snore anymore!

I could have written this, word fir word, except I have only just got a sleep tracker to check what it sounds like. Trying neti pipe to clear airways, tongue exercises, mouth tape. Nothing seems to work. Will record myself once I figure a decent app out and hear if it is as bad as I am told. I used one without playback yesterday and it gave me over 5 hours of snoring. I feel crap in the mornings. I am trying to lose weight, always am, but nothing has shifted. What do sleep clinics do?

I use an app called SnoreLab.. you get a chart each morning with a stunning display of your snore score …!! I used it free for the first 7 days and now pay 5.99 and I find it useful. If I wake up and feel pretty refreshed and see my score is low I feel really chuffed but the opposite is true - if I wake up and see I’ve been snoring badly all night I feel quite ashamed. So, I think apps have their uses but use it to try different remedies (for at least a week at a time) to see what helps. I e figured out using the app and experimenting that my two biggest factors are being dehydrated (so now I make sure I drink 2-3ltres of water a day) and having pillows as high as I can without feeling like I’m sitting up! Ironically I snore worst when on my side.. so sleeping kinda propped up seems to help me but I do roll over to my side when asleep a lot.
I also bought a mouthguard thing which you mould at home to bring your jaw forward slightly and it did help for a night or two but tbh I tbh I think I just sleep lighter so less snoring! The contraption is annoying, even if well fitted and because my jaw drops open when I’m asleep it just falls out. Considering asking my dentist if they make one that won’t fall out.
Continuing to lose weight no matter how slowly and keeping my water intake really high seems to be helping a bit but it’s a long sad road tbh.
I wish I was smart enough to invent the cure! I’d be a billionaire…

Please don't ascribe emotions like shame to a health issue. Your not ignoring it's impact on your family and trying your best to fix it so there is nothing to be ashamed about.
Get a GP appointment and a referral to a sleep clinic, sleep apnea is treatable and can have health implications so do check it out.
Also the mornings when you have snored a lot in the night will probably feel worse because you haven't had enough proper sleep. Stop checking the app, you will know when you wake if you feel refreshed or not.
Also if possible go to bed at the same early time each night, this will help with the weight loss and hopefully the snoring.
Being overtired makes it worse.

You can buy a neoprene strap device which forces you mouth closed all night. Not too uncomfortable once you get used to it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/IBLUELOVER-Professional-Breathable-Adjustable-Solution/dp/B091TFCPNG/ref=ascdff_B091TFCPNG/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=535028780579&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5464931733368944433&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046344&hvtargid=pla-1414775444378&psc=1

Snap op. I had a sleep apnea test. The results came back "mild" I'm stuck. They can't offer me a CPAP.

I've tried all the devices on Amazon.

It's sending me insane because I'm not getting enough sleep.

There are some exercises you can do to strengthen the muscles in your mouth to reduce snoring.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/snoring/mouth-exercises-to-stop-snoring]

Worth a try?

Do see a doctor, in the meantime have you tried a snore throat spray? The boots one really works for DH

I would push for a referral to a sleep clinic. DP just went to one, they monitored him throughout the night and said he has hypopnea. It's worse when he's on his back, so they recommended trying "positional sleep therapy" first (which turned out to mean strapping a tennis ball to his back at night so he doesn't roll on his back!). He also has a deviated septum so they recommended a nasal dilator which has helped a lot. He may also need a CPAP if his sleep gets any worse over time.

You need a CPAP, changed our life.

Instead of more pillows have you tried raising the head of your bed so you are on an incline? I find more pillows makes it worse as it pushes my head forwards.

I wondered about sleep apnea when I read this - my mum had absolutely room-shaking snoring (luckily my dad was pretty deaf by the time she developed it) and having a CPAP machine sorted it. Similarly for a friend who was having apnea and really disturbed sleep.

My dh used to be a terrible snorer, but that all changed when he got diagnosed with severe sleep apnoea, he was waking up almost every minute! He wears a mask now and doesn't snore at all. The biggest thing for the snoring has been his chin strap which fits round his head and holds his jaw closed. I think he got it on Amazon. I'd ask but he's blissfully and silently fast asleep!

Look at JML, they sell an airbag you can put under the head end of your bed & inflate to lift the head of the mattress, it makes your bed like an electric bed. I have bought one, it was £120 & has stopped me snoring.

Please get assessed for sleep apnea, dh snored for years, drove me demented but he wouldn't do anything about it, I'd end up in the spare room which I eventually redecorated and moved in to completely, I saw no point in me lying awake waiting for him to go asleep before I moved for some peace, he still didn't get help. Eventually I gave him an ultimatum, get sorted or I'm leaving, his health was suffering, he was constantly tired, going to bed at 20.00 and still exhausted at 8.00, his concentration was shot and being self employed his business was suffering, he seen a consultant, got a c-pap and its changed so much for him. He's not exhausted, he hadn't realised how badly effected he'd become until he got help, do the same for yourself, get seen to asap.

Please do this the right way ie first stop is see your GP . They will use an easy screening tool such as the STOP BANG questionnaire to see if you are a high risk of sleep apnoea . You can google and download and fill out this form yourself to take it with you.
Based on the results, you hopefully will have a sleep test and then the severity can be properly calibrated. Snoring/sleep apnoea can be caused by different things . Being overweight is just one factor. Anatomy of you airway, lower jaw position in relation to upper jaw are other factors.
Here is the link for questionnaire

britishsnoring.co.uk/stop_bang_questionnaire.php