to think there's such a thing as "Boss-splaining"?

[Righthandcider]

As I've got older and more experienced, I've noticed a definite increase in the number of people in leadership roles feeling the need to explain things to me veeerrry simply and clearly. It happens most when said boss is the same age or younger than me. I don't count it as 'mansplaining' because although the perpetrators tend to be male, I've seen them do it to men as well as women.

Here's a typical example. I work in a marketing consultancy with mostly tech-related clients. The job involves hopping around from topic to topic, needing to reach a reasonable level of understanding of a variety of different industries relatively quickly. We also need to understand generally what's going on in the world / the economy / politics etc.

Some of us have been doing this for many years. We have learnt things. We read newspapers. We do not live under rocks. And yet some people - especially our MD - LOVES carefully explaining things that we already understand. And not always correctly.

It used to happen in my previous company too. Same basic scenario, only in this case the MD would also carefully explain 'complex' topics to his own (equal) business partner in briefings. The partner is a good five years older, and is a very smart, experienced, well respected guy.

I've even had my own presentation boss-splained back to me. (Slowly of course.)

Do MDs feel so uncomfortable around more experienced people that they feel the need to play a game of 'I'm the clever one' ??

Anyone else think this is a thing? Makes me cringe.

My boss (20 years older than me but less intelligent IMO) often answers my questions by explaining base principle which my question already demonstrated that I understand.

Eg Q, given that we have limited funding this year to deliver, who will make the trade off decisions between short-term and building long-term capability, and on what criteria?
Eg A, we have less money this year so there will need to be some difficult decisions about what to spend it on.

Drives me bananas and i lose respect for them every time. (more fool me for asking)

Ah, so Boss-splaining is not exclusively reserved for younger bosses talking to older staff. Interesting. And so bloody annoying!

It's a personality thing rather than a boss thing. I have much younger colleagues who do the same, particularly around IT. One tried to explain right clicking on the mouse to me.

Sometimes it's that they just aren't listening properly, they pick up a few words of the question and answer the question they think was asked.

Or they did hear, but answered the (easier) question they would have preferred you'd asked!!

Or they're a patronising dick, which is non-exclusive to either of the above options...

Ha, I hear you.

I took a part time role in a small company to fit around my studies. I ran a company with a million pound turnover, and achieved successes that no one has ever done at my current employer. They know this.

They keep asking me to do tasks, and explaining to the Nth degree how. They even give me incorrect instructions - e.g. Telling me to zero base budget when they actually make clear they want to use activity based budgeting. Then the CEO emails asking for instructions on how to use the INCREDIBLY simple HR system - for the third time. I have to copy and paste the instructions for last time. Yet five minutes later she's back into micromanage mode.

It's really testing my arrogant-twatness. We all have stengths and weaknesses. But when I was a senior leader, I took great pride in not being a helpless idiot when it came to admin, and I didn't have the time to tell people how to do things they were doing competently.

You must be biting your tongue so much it's in shreds.

Hmm, I'm afraid in the cases I've witnesses it's never really been about them listening or answering questions, just holding forth to display their knowledge on a particular topic.

One of the MDs I referred to regularly started a briefing with the words 'This is quite complicated, so I'll try to explain it as slowly as I can'.

I've also had a project given to me that multiple people in the organisation had tried and failed to crack, including the CEO and the MD. The explanation they gave for asking me to have a go at it was 'The last thing this project needs is the big brains in the business. You're ideal because it needs dumbing down'.

Ughh I deal with this all the time. I work for a large company, but the main office happens to be in a small town and a lot of people have never worked anywhere else. As a result, they tend to be years/decades behind when it comes to best practice, updated technology, etc.

Every time I (or other colleagues that were recruited externally) ask a question it takes 20 minutes to get to the point because they explain the most basic things in excruciating detail. It's as if they think because you've not worked at the company for 10 years you can't possibly understand anything and all your external experience is irrelevant.

I wonder if it's more a reflection of the other person. If they struggle to absorb new information/understand complex topics they assume everyone is the same?

My brand new manager has told us off for not passing paperwork that he has to sign on to him straight away. Had he asked about the process, he would have known that another staff member had to do multiple background checks before the paperwork was ready.

I just zone out...then nod.
Balls to it...I'm out of here soon.