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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to get a doberman puppy with a 7 year old child?

135 replies

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 10:16

just that, would this be just the worst idea?

to train them as a family pet, with classes and not leave them alone together, but is it inherently a stupid idea?

we have cats as well and are trying for another baby.

OP posts:
Losinghope9 · 22/09/2022 19:36

We have a lovely whippet, who is the softest, most gentle dog. Until he sees a toddler on his level, that's when he gets silly, it may not be aggressive, but he gets bouncy and just a bit silly. I absolutely wouldn't have him around toddlers unless on a lead.

He's well trained and well exercises, but a fast moving small person is all too exciting for him.

I would be concerned at what age the pup would be to when you had the baby. Would it not be better to wait until they are older? I couldn't imagine having a toddler trying to run in one direction whilst trying to manage the dog.

Carlycat · 22/09/2022 20:36

JFC. Are you insane?

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/09/2022 20:56

Dog trainer/behaviour consultant here..

Dobermans (show bred, I would not entertain a working bred one if you paid me a million quid) will take a couple of YEARS to mature and reach the mental capacity to be fully trained.

Thats with bucket loads of time and patience, training and managing (people forget the management but it is key... preventing them practicing behaviours you don't like/won't like later on etc is vital or training simply will not work!), using positive reinforcment/negative punishment.

Please avoid any aversive, 'balanced', alpha, pack leader/dominance etc whatever bollocks, its all training via aversives and suppression which results in a potentially very dangerous dog no matter what the breed! It's also hugely popular on tiktok/reels and particularly within breeds like dobes, malis, rotties, bullbreeds, all the 'tough' breeds basically. Its nonsense, not necessary and not safe.)

With just a 7 year old, if you've the time and by that I mean one of you is home all day with time to manage and train the dog, and really, dog training/sports is something you're heavily into - yeah.

If you'll be relying on a dog sitter/walker/daycare, then think again - it will be the better part of a year before your dog can be left home alone for any useful period of time. Even if they are HAPPY with that (and most won't be reliably, usefully, until over a year old, sometimes more like over 2)... they will still not be suited to it, as its long periods of time where they can learn all sorts of things you absolutely do not want them to learn.

Imagine if you will, leaving a 15 year old boy home alone for a week, with his mates round, access to the booze cupboard and lots of cash. Thats the equivalent of leaving a juvenile dobe home alone for 4 hours. Chaos. Mayhem. Carnage.

However you're planning a baby - so you've to raise a steady dog who whilst still young, has to cope with a baby, who turns into a crawling poking grabbing wobbly noise maker... who then starts to toddle and stagger and grab and fall... and hit and poke and bite... and most dogs even if they were great with the small baby phase, struggle heavily with the crawling to properly mobile stage.

Juvenile dogs going through adolescence (which we now know takes the better part of a year, not a few weeks/months as many books suggest) are REALLY going to struggle with this, you'll need two pairs of hands and eyes in the back of your head just for the dog, which leaves what for the baby?

I would either...

Wait until the next baby is at least 5 (old enough to follow instruction and actually do as they're told)..

OR.. have the puppy, and don't start trying for a baby until the puppy is steady, trained, sensible and reliable, probably around 2.5 for a dobe.

Both together has the very real potential to be hell on wheels meaning you don't enjoy either dog or baby as much as you should, and the outcome for either is dire if things go seriously tits up with a big dog (and rehoming a dobe who has growled at or bitten a kid is nigh on impossible).

stevalnamechanger · 22/09/2022 21:59

I would if I had appropriate house . And the budget to pay for a trainer .

stevalnamechanger · 22/09/2022 22:04

And by that I mean a house with a separate utility area where the dog can have it's only space gated in

Brigante9 · 22/09/2022 22:11

Look up Wobblers and maybe re-think the breed, unless you have 5 generations of health tested lineage. Bloody big dog to have with a buggy.

Feelfreetocallme · 22/09/2022 22:14

Flyingwithoutwing · 22/09/2022 10:19

Why the hall would you get a dog prone to active violently if you have kids. That’s diabolical parenting. Get a spaniel or something. FGS!

You’re comment is very ignorant. A spaniel killed my cat. I have a staffie. She gets chased around the garden by my rescue hens.

Feelfreetocallme · 22/09/2022 22:16

having a puppy and a baby at the same time would be a NIGHTMARE

Totally agree. My dog came to me as a rescue pup because previous owners had her and a new baby, and couldn’t cope. Not a good combination.

TooManyMoronsHere · 22/09/2022 22:27

Flyingwithoutwing · 22/09/2022 10:19

Why the hall would you get a dog prone to active violently if you have kids. That’s diabolical parenting. Get a spaniel or something. FGS!

Doberman dogs are not aggressive. They are trained to be. I had the loveliest most docile Doberman family pet that I grew up with as a child, we scared her more, she would welp not turn aggressive when we accidentally stood on her long tail as toddlers.

Educate yourself!

TooManyMoronsHere · 22/09/2022 22:29

Crazycrazylady · 22/09/2022 10:49

Honestly

What is wrong with you!!
Why on earth would you risk that with all the safer breeds available to you.

Stupidstupidlady would be a better username for you with that ignorance

TooManyMoronsHere · 22/09/2022 22:30

GeorgiaGirl52 · 22/09/2022 11:19

In the USA, Dobermans are known as one of the "uninsurable" breeds. People who own this breed are denied homeowner's insurance or required to pay extra premiums for a "dangerous"breed.

That's because Americans cruelly dock their tails and pin their ears and train them to be aggressive, something that most Brits no longer do!

FijiArtesian · 22/09/2022 22:32

I grew up with Doberman's Grin my gran is a breeder (well she's had her last litter) but I'm now 32 and my DS is 8 and we've never had a negative encounter. They're adorable beasts.

TooManyMoronsHere · 22/09/2022 22:33

Ahwig · 22/09/2022 11:53

My in laws have had dogs forever, normally a poodle. My husband and I popped into see them and didn’t have our 3 year old with us for once. They had bought. Doberman and this was the first time we were seeing her. It was near Christmas time and my mother in law offered me a mince pie. I was just putting it to my lips when the Doberman literally hurdled over the sofa I was sitting on snatching the mince pie in the way. I was horrified. They thought it was funny. I said to my husband on the way home I didn’t think it safe to take a toddler there. He fully agreed. 2 months later he but my mother in law quite badly and had to be put down. I’m not blaming the dog because he didn’t know any better as had no training at all but I’m so glad I stuck to my decision and didn’t take my child there.

My pet cat once purposely scratched me, I wouldn't trust any baby around all cats now.

Does that sound stupid to you? Because that's basically the moral of your story.

Hesleepswiththefishes · 22/09/2022 22:35

You have to take your dog out for 3 walks a day in all weathers so you need to take toddler and baby if there is no one to help?

Duchess379 · 23/09/2022 00:13

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 10:16

just that, would this be just the worst idea?

to train them as a family pet, with classes and not leave them alone together, but is it inherently a stupid idea?

we have cats as well and are trying for another baby.

You are currently trying for a child & want a puppy as well?! Regardless of breed, I think you're mad. You have your hands full. A young toddler, a new born & a puppy is just sheer madness. 🤦🏼

FartNRoses · 23/09/2022 05:25

Where are all your other dogs and cats then???

UserError012345 · 23/09/2022 06:07

Ummmm ....yes!

Pinkychilla · 23/09/2022 06:15

I personally wouldn't get one if your planning to have a baby as well until the baby was an older child as having a baby is stressful enough without having to train a puppy/ walking a strong dog with a pushchair/having to go out in the rain with baby and dog and then the crawling and toddler phase with a large playful dog that will knock baby over and you'll have to make sure your always watching/keeping them separate but only you know how your family can work around it how much time your partner can give to the dog whilst working etc because it would be you doing most of the work with the pup if your the one at home and whether it's something you would like to do and have the time for

Simonjt · 23/09/2022 06:18

If I just had a seven year old one I would get one, as someone who has a baby, having a puppy or adolescent dog and a baby would have been an absolute nightmare no matter the breed.

RampantIvy · 23/09/2022 07:35

People who think they are vicious are just ignorant. They were selectively bred to have a guarding instinct,

Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? How will the dog differentiate between a friend or an unwanted guest?
Why do Dobermans have the reputation they have when Doberman lovers on this thread say they are soft and docile?

and I trust ours with our family completely.

I assume that you don't leave your dog unattended with small children? This should go for any kind of dog, not just dobermans.

EbbyEbs · 23/09/2022 08:18

RampantIvy · 23/09/2022 07:35

People who think they are vicious are just ignorant. They were selectively bred to have a guarding instinct,

Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? How will the dog differentiate between a friend or an unwanted guest?
Why do Dobermans have the reputation they have when Doberman lovers on this thread say they are soft and docile?

and I trust ours with our family completely.

I assume that you don't leave your dog unattended with small children? This should go for any kind of dog, not just dobermans.

They’re the only dog breed in the world that was specifically bred as a human protection dog.

Mine is stranger aggressive and cannot tell the difference between friend or foe. I can’t have anyone in my house unless the dog is secured away, including family.

And it’s not all about training, I did everything by the book and continue to do so - sometimes it’s genetics.

thenewduchessoflapland · 23/09/2022 10:35

Flyingwithoutwing · 22/09/2022 10:19

Why the hall would you get a dog prone to active violently if you have kids. That’s diabolical parenting. Get a spaniel or something. FGS!

They are not prone to violence;they are commonly used by dog handlers in the private security section along with GSD's,Rottweilers etc;they are lovely dogs,as long as you give it the appropriate training as a puppy you'd give all dogs you'll be fine.

AnnieSnap · 03/02/2023 19:01

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:52

Hubby showed me lots of videos of adult and puppy dobermans with babies and young children and asserted that with proper training and boundaries it would be completely safe.

I think it's not worth the risk but nothing will happen without agreement of course that's why I came here.

Yes, I've had dogs, all rescue, and we are against buying dogs in general but would have to buy from a proper breeder from a puppy because of the child issue.

A puppy and a new baby would be a lot of work, but there is some serious rubbish written on this thread. If you get one that comes from lines with good temperaments and health tested for inherent genetic health problems, you shouldn’t encounter the problems the shroud wavers are shouting about. If you and/or your husband have some experience of dogs, you take advice from good breeders and are prepared to put the time in on exercise, training and socialisation, you should be fine. When I had young children, including when they were babies and toddlers, I had Weimaraners (I used to show them and had two litters of puppies) and a Rottweiler bitch (and cats). My children were brought up to understand that they must be gentle with animals and not pull them around. It wouldn’t even occur to them to climb on them or pull their tails. The dogs were all gentle around the children. The softest and gentlest of all was my lovely Rottweiler bitch. I would suggest getting a bitch, not a dog, as they are usually calmer and gentler. I suspect those posters saying ‘no, don’t do it’ have no experience of large and/or guard breeds and their comments are no more than guesswork.

beautifulpaintings · 03/02/2023 19:33

Here's a story about a 4 year old killed by a young Doberman. How many stories are we going to read about kids being killed?

www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/2016/10/dog_attack_leaves_childs_famil.html

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 03/02/2023 19:34

Zombie thread! 🙄 The Doberman probably isn’t even a puppy anymore 😂

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