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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a doberman puppy with a 7 year old child?

135 replies

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 10:16

just that, would this be just the worst idea?

to train them as a family pet, with classes and not leave them alone together, but is it inherently a stupid idea?

we have cats as well and are trying for another baby.

OP posts:
Fillystine · 22/09/2022 11:29

I feel the need to defend Dobermans here! We got one as a puppy and a year later had a baby. He was the best dog we’ve ever had. Sweet, gentle, lovely with our son (although very little spacial awareness and quite clumsy) and adored our cats. As long as they are socialised and given sufficient exercise they are no different to any other dog. The worst dogs to have as pets are the ones who are given little to no training or stimulation because people mistake the ‘safe’ family type breeds like cocker spaniels and labs as easy, and offer no training, boundaries or exercise. Those are the types of dogs who are potentially dangerous.

I have never met an aggressive Doberman. I have met a lot of aggressive labs, possessive and snappy cockers and truly vile border collies however! The common denominator in all of these breeds is the lack of training and exercise.

Isthisexpected · 22/09/2022 11:29

Madness. Are you really bored or unsatisfied with life? You must be deeply unfulfilled and need to find something to fill the void to consider going through the puppy and baby list in this order.

SlashBeef · 22/09/2022 11:31

Absolutely not.

DameHelena · 22/09/2022 11:32

Some very ill-informed comments on here about Dobermanns.
OP, I'd suggest you post in the Dogs section to get (hopefully) less daft responses.
Regardless of breed, though, I'd think a child AND a baby with a new puppy (which are time- and energy-consuming) is a lot to take on.

Sausagenbacon · 22/09/2022 11:35

Ridiculous. I wouldn't get any dog if I was trying for a baby

caringcarer · 22/09/2022 11:37

Don't get a dog with a baby and another child on the way. Wait until children are 6 and 4. I would always choose a smaller dog with a good temperament. I have a friend who shows her 3 Dobermans and they are awesome dogs but need a lot of attention and long walks and training to a high standard and to keep them mentally stimulated. She tells me they are not dogs for people who don't have a good amount of time to spend on them. Her youngest child was 10 when she got her first Doberman. They had a golden retriever before that but died at 14.

Original poster
macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:37

greenhousegal · 22/09/2022 11:26

Provocative post IMV and I doubt the OP is serious.

I wouldn't waste any time responding to state the bleeding obvious here.

Don't be such a conspiracy theorist. My partner wants one and I'm seeking advice as I think it's a bad idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:38

DameHelena · 22/09/2022 11:32

Some very ill-informed comments on here about Dobermanns.
OP, I'd suggest you post in the Dogs section to get (hopefully) less daft responses.
Regardless of breed, though, I'd think a child AND a baby with a new puppy (which are time- and energy-consuming) is a lot to take on.

I get that, but I don't work so there is that.

OP posts:
Carmakomelian · 22/09/2022 11:40

Fillystine · 22/09/2022 11:29

I feel the need to defend Dobermans here! We got one as a puppy and a year later had a baby. He was the best dog we’ve ever had. Sweet, gentle, lovely with our son (although very little spacial awareness and quite clumsy) and adored our cats. As long as they are socialised and given sufficient exercise they are no different to any other dog. The worst dogs to have as pets are the ones who are given little to no training or stimulation because people mistake the ‘safe’ family type breeds like cocker spaniels and labs as easy, and offer no training, boundaries or exercise. Those are the types of dogs who are potentially dangerous.

I have never met an aggressive Doberman. I have met a lot of aggressive labs, possessive and snappy cockers and truly vile border collies however! The common denominator in all of these breeds is the lack of training and exercise.

One solitary post was an ignorant opinion on dobermans. All the other posts were that getting a large, powerful, dog which requires lots of attention, socialisation and training, when you're trying for a baby, is not a wise idea.

Yack02 · 22/09/2022 11:42

What's more baffling, isn't that you are considering a Doberman, but that you're trying for a baby. Therefore, a puppy of any breed is a bad idea right now!

Unless you're super experienced and incredibly motivated then please do not consider this.

Imagine having to do 2/3 walks a day in the winter in the pissing rain and wind whilst being heavily pregnant. Then when the baby arrives, are you seriously going to have the motivation and energy for all of this?

I had two puppies and 4 adult dogs when I was pregnant. I'm a very experienced dog owner and it damn near finished me off. DON'T DO IT!!!

Suzi888 · 22/09/2022 11:43

Flyingwithoutwing · 22/09/2022 10:19

Why the hall would you get a dog prone to active violently if you have kids. That’s diabolical parenting. Get a spaniel or something. FGS!

If you look at spaniel rehoming you’ll find a hell of a lot of them are a bit risk or have bitten.

I love dogs. I have a dog and DD grew up with a dog as did I.

But having /trying for a baby and adding any dog to the mix (or indeed a cat/ any pet really) is going to be extremely hard work. Training, socialising, house breaking, my God you are in for it and I honestly don’t think you’ll have the time.
Dobermans are humongous! 😂🤷🏼‍♀️Even the dog moving around normally (never mind a puppy) will send a baby /toddler flying!

I would wait until the youngest child is around 7 if they are dog savvy and you’ve owned dogs before.
A Doberman is a guard dog, they can make excellent family pets but YOU need to know what you are doing.

ShoesCoatandBag · 22/09/2022 11:46

Doberman are lovely dogs in my experience. Quite boisterous as puppies though and get big quick.

Never met an aggressive one. Never met adult one that isn’t calm. Have met many that are afraid of their own shadow, leaves and men with hats.

LightDrizzle · 22/09/2022 11:47

I love Dobermans but voted YABU because you are trying for a baby. I wouldn’t recommend any puppy in that situation unless your partner doesn’t work and is at home.

If you have a partner who works it will be you taking the dog out to toilet train 16 times a day, cleaning up accidents on your hands and knees, keeping nippy puppy and excited 7/8 year old apart, trying to train multiple times a day on top of other domestic chores and with a demanding baby after disrupted sleep.

Someone will lose out. Your older child, your baby, the puppy. If you have the stamina of an SAS soldier maybe the only person to lose out will be you, in reality it’s likely puppy, older child and you will lose out. At least.

mumpower3 · 22/09/2022 11:48

I grew up with various dogs. A doberman being one of them. Soppiest dog ever. But ALOT of hard work went into it. They are a big breed who need all the hours you have and more. Mixed with a baby? Probably not a good idea. They can be very territorial.

No puppy/breed is born dangerous!! Its the owners fault how "dangerous" the dog becomes.

Randomword6 · 22/09/2022 11:52

Is this a real question? I think it's nice people have taken this seriously but it goads me.

Original poster
macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:52

Hubby showed me lots of videos of adult and puppy dobermans with babies and young children and asserted that with proper training and boundaries it would be completely safe.

I think it's not worth the risk but nothing will happen without agreement of course that's why I came here.

Yes, I've had dogs, all rescue, and we are against buying dogs in general but would have to buy from a proper breeder from a puppy because of the child issue.

OP posts:
Ahwig · 22/09/2022 11:53

My in laws have had dogs forever, normally a poodle. My husband and I popped into see them and didn’t have our 3 year old with us for once. They had bought. Doberman and this was the first time we were seeing her. It was near Christmas time and my mother in law offered me a mince pie. I was just putting it to my lips when the Doberman literally hurdled over the sofa I was sitting on snatching the mince pie in the way. I was horrified. They thought it was funny. I said to my husband on the way home I didn’t think it safe to take a toddler there. He fully agreed. 2 months later he but my mother in law quite badly and had to be put down. I’m not blaming the dog because he didn’t know any better as had no training at all but I’m so glad I stuck to my decision and didn’t take my child there.

milawops · 22/09/2022 11:53

I wouldn't and not because it's a Doberman. I've had one and think they are amazing dogs but any puppy takes so much effort to train that if you do have another child it will be a logistical nightmare. I have a 7 year old GSD and 2 children, an 18 month old and a 5 month old and between the 3 of them I'm constantly ripping my hair out and that's with a fully trained placid dog that I know if great with kids. But she still can't be left alone with them. Im still constantly watching to make sure the 18 month old isn't bothering the dog or trying to steal her food or make her give dolly a horsey ride or whatever other way she's thought of to torment the dog on any particular day. A puppy would tip me over the edge. Of course you might handle stress better than me, most people do to be fair Smile

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 11:58

Why a Doberman specifically?

serenghetti2011 · 22/09/2022 12:07

Why now? I think you either need to have a dog/puppy or a baby doing both is such a lot of work. Wait until the baby is older and your son is older. When you have more time and energy to actually spend on the dog. A bad first year can affect the test of a dogs life and if you’re not all in because you’ve got your hands full with a baby and tired etc it’s not fair on a puppy. Both puppy and baby need to be prioritised.

I don’t have an opinion on the breed as I don’t know much about Dobermans it’s not a breed I would choose and I’d question your partners motivation for getting one and the timing.

Suzi888 · 22/09/2022 12:07

“Hubby showed me lots of videos of adult and puppy dobermans with babies and young children and asserted that with proper training and boundaries it would be completely safe.” On Instagram? There are loads of that type of video on Instagram - that include breeds that are banned in the U.K, American pit bulls etc. Thing is they have had a ton of training and exercise and then take a cute video for five mins when the dog is drained of all energy and docile/well behaved and I’m sure some are. Some of those owners spend all day with the dogs- that’s how they make their money. Some of the larger breeds prefer a man etc. You may be lucky, you may not. It’s a hell of a risk.

I wanted to rehome a young Canary dog and posted for advice here (which was a bit of a shit show) but I had a few really helpful pm’s from real life owners who gave me insights in to those dogs. I know I am likely too soft to own such a powerful breed. DH has owned such breeds (before the horror stories) and never had a problem.

Remember puppies chew and will steal toys etc. You’ll probably require a dog walker and an area the dog can be kept separate at certain times. It’s just fraught with danger, even accidents with claws etc. I don’t think it’s fair on the dog either to put it in that position.
I also looked at Boerbel- pups and there aren’t many reputable breeders, but the one I looked at actually states that it’s not fair to put a dog in the position of having to deal with everything that goes with children.

You may find that reputable Doberman breeders won’t sell you a pup with your personal circumstances.

greenhousegal · 22/09/2022 12:07

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:37

Don't be such a conspiracy theorist. My partner wants one and I'm seeking advice as I think it's a bad idea.

Show quote history

You did not mention anything about it being a bad idea in your view, or that it was your partner's suggestion, who is now your Hubby. That was quick!

The partner/hubby might be the problem here not the doberman!

economicervix · 22/09/2022 12:18

Lol
Yes. Definitely. If you want your life to be as difficult as possible and every second hell on earth go for it! Babies are bad enough without a biting, incontinent huge mammal around too.

What exactly about that breed appeals to partnerhubby? A status dog? What’s appealing about having a hard work puppy plus a newborn? The mind boggles.

Yack02 · 22/09/2022 12:23

Ok so you're experienced and have had rescues before, that's something at least! Back to my previous point though, not sure if you've had a puppy or young adult dog in your previous pregnancy and then with a subsequent baby/toddler/pre schooler?

If you have and are fully aware of how bloody hard it is and still want to proceed then go for it.

But if you haven't, please don't put yourself through it. Just wait a few years.

Magicpaintbrush · 22/09/2022 12:38

Your DH is an idiot - don't be swayed by him!!! Why anyone would get a new puppy of any breed when they are about to have a newborn baby is beyond me. It's completely stupid. What's the rush??? I wouldn't even get a pug puppy if I was pregnant, let alone a large breed like a doberman! Is he planning on being a stay at home dad to look after all these babies, children, cats and puppies - or will that all fall to you????