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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Something to take the edge off

46 replies

Boujisboo · 22/09/2022 08:14

I suffer from anxiety
racing thoughts and a busy quite chaotic mind
often I calm this down with a few glasses of wine but it ends up making me feel worse - what else can I do to feel calmer ?

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 22/09/2022 10:14

There are various things on YouTube that are really helpful

Asmr videos, listen through headphones
Vagal stimulation videos
Tapping videos.

Give some a try.
Practice in a moment when you aren't particularly bad- maybe while you are eating lunch, or having a coffee.
Build them into your routine (eg. before bed)
Then watch/repeat them when you start thinking about a glass of something.

Basically you need to reduce your overall 'janglyness' as well as targeting it at the moment you need it.

Check you aren't using stimulants- caffeine, energy drinks etc. they can be quite unsettling.

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:03

Why do people think GPs have magic wands when really they are marketed to by drug companies and give out whatever drug companies tell them to at that time? Right now it's SSRIs.

Here's one for you. Start getting up very early, like 5am. This way you will be so ready for bed and so tired by 10pm that you won't have time to drink. You have to create this habit. My anxiety goes through the roof sometimes and if I'm more tired (but functional) I just don't have the energy to snap or obsess. I've been waking at 5, well doesn't go to plan some days, but it's the thing that's going to stop me seeking out destructive behaviours in the small hours.

It's habits that will change your situation. Drugs can help in the short-term and usually SSRIs aren't short-term, there's never an exit strategy because unfortunately the pharmaceutical industry and medical establishment are compromised by profit.

Habits are your friend, and you can't expect to create the habits at the very time you would indulge in the harmful habits, that won't work. What you need to do is create a habit pre-emptively, such as getting up very early, for instance, that will start working at the very time you would do the bad habit.

Alternatively and to accompany this try a gym or workout session, even a walk, make time for this. If you have kids, it's the park for an hour after school. Anything that will render you less inclined to drink later on.

Now, I'm assuming you drink in the evening but if you drink in the day that's a whole other issue. But I'm happy to speak to you around that also. I'm not a therapist, just a person whose been through a lot making an effort to live a functional life.

Etinoxaurus · 22/09/2022 11:18

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 11:03

Why do people think GPs have magic wands when really they are marketed to by drug companies and give out whatever drug companies tell them to at that time? Right now it's SSRIs.

Here's one for you. Start getting up very early, like 5am. This way you will be so ready for bed and so tired by 10pm that you won't have time to drink. You have to create this habit. My anxiety goes through the roof sometimes and if I'm more tired (but functional) I just don't have the energy to snap or obsess. I've been waking at 5, well doesn't go to plan some days, but it's the thing that's going to stop me seeking out destructive behaviours in the small hours.

It's habits that will change your situation. Drugs can help in the short-term and usually SSRIs aren't short-term, there's never an exit strategy because unfortunately the pharmaceutical industry and medical establishment are compromised by profit.

Habits are your friend, and you can't expect to create the habits at the very time you would indulge in the harmful habits, that won't work. What you need to do is create a habit pre-emptively, such as getting up very early, for instance, that will start working at the very time you would do the bad habit.

Alternatively and to accompany this try a gym or workout session, even a walk, make time for this. If you have kids, it's the park for an hour after school. Anything that will render you less inclined to drink later on.

Now, I'm assuming you drink in the evening but if you drink in the day that's a whole other issue. But I'm happy to speak to you around that also. I'm not a therapist, just a person whose been through a lot making an effort to live a functional life.

Actually GPs are a good first point of call. I’m very old 😁and have been to my gp about low mood and maladaptive coping strategies several times over 30 years. I’ve never been prescribed drugs for mood but a reassuring chat, once cbt, once treatment for a very lowering and distracting condition which was exacerbating my low mood.
Grounding might help you too OP
m.youtube.com/watch?v=jEVzJwRUmcE

YouSirNeighMmmm · 22/09/2022 11:22

If you were desperate and getting nowhere with a doctor then LSD?

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/psychedelic-drug-lsd-may-be-effective-as-anxiety-treatment

Calandor · 22/09/2022 15:13

@macthekwife since when were GPS marketed to by drug companies? They prescribe what the NHS recommends and what the NHS says it can afford.

My sisters a GP and she's never mentioned being approached by drug companies. This isn't America.

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 22/09/2022 16:12

Calandor · 22/09/2022 15:13

@macthekwife since when were GPS marketed to by drug companies? They prescribe what the NHS recommends and what the NHS says it can afford.

My sisters a GP and she's never mentioned being approached by drug companies. This isn't America.

Whether you recognise this practice probably depends what age you are. It used to be extremely common, indeed rife, and you never needed to buy biros, notepads, post-its etc

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 17:27

Calandor · 22/09/2022 15:13

@macthekwife since when were GPS marketed to by drug companies? They prescribe what the NHS recommends and what the NHS says it can afford.

My sisters a GP and she's never mentioned being approached by drug companies. This isn't America.

Since forever and you only need to work with them for a short time to be privvy to the information. I've been on some of the marketing events myself and they take advice from drug reps on what to prescribe. If they are unsure about how a drug works, they consult the BNF yes, but they will also consult the rep. They will ask the rep for when and how to give the drugs, it's just how the system works.

GPs have little knowledge around drug action and are primarily trained to identify and treat symptoms, with drugs, which are marketed to them by representatives of drug companies.

The only difference with the US is really that we stopped them being able to outwardly bribe our doctors with yachts or meals etc.

Sally99 · 22/09/2022 18:03

I find that Kalms are really helpful at times of stress.

buttons123456 · 22/09/2022 18:03

Propranolol!

GoodVibesHere · 22/09/2022 18:06

When desperate, a sleeping tablet helps me

Poetnojo · 22/09/2022 18:12

You could cut carbs and sugar including alcohol.
5-htp tablets
Ashwagandha
Lemon balm and L-theanine
Exercise
These are all things that took the edge off for me.

Boujisboo · 22/09/2022 21:53

Thank you
setealine ended with me not being able to function and horrendous panic attacks and hallucinations m.

I’m currently having an awful panic attack
I feel exhausted and can’t go on like this any longer I don’t even know who I am anymore

OP posts:
Boujisboo · 22/09/2022 21:55

Poetnojo · 22/09/2022 18:12

You could cut carbs and sugar including alcohol.
5-htp tablets
Ashwagandha
Lemon balm and L-theanine
Exercise
These are all things that took the edge off for me.

This is a good idea sugar and carbs is how I function double edge sword

OP posts:
LaVieEstBelle159 · 22/09/2022 22:00

Have you tried a self-referral for talking therapies? They triage then refer you to an appropriate therapist for 8 sessions. It helped me get to the root of some of my anxieties.

INeverSawAPurpleCow · 22/09/2022 22:02

Exercise and keeping busy with something dull like housework are my best suggestions. I used to live in central London and would be walking the streets in the early hours to escape my thoughts and tire myself out enough to sleep.

Thepossibility · 22/09/2022 22:08

I take a promethazine tab (2 if it's been a really, truly bad day) and go to bed early.
Nice lavender candle on.
I can't drink much anymore, I can't deal with actually feeling worse when I'm trying to deal with the stressors if life.

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2022 22:12

Exercise
Spend time outdoors.
CBT
Prozac helped me.

mytearsricochet · 22/09/2022 22:13

Look up your local IAPT service. You can usually self-refer to them for some short-term support for anxiety.

WagathaChristieMystery · 22/09/2022 22:14

Can you look into getting counselling? There are lots of options available, including low-cost options.

suzyscat · 22/09/2022 22:16

propranolol prescribed by gp helped me on a surface level instantly . I then did CBT - it took 11 sessions but head life changing.

Spend more time in nature. The benefits of seeing trees and being in green spaces is proven.

I found cardio an absolute game changer - fast exercise and using that heart racing thing for physical exertion makes such a difference.

Good luck!

autienotnaughty · 22/09/2022 22:38

CBT counselling - nhs
Meditation -calm app
Mindfulness - nhs
Hypnotherapy
Yoga
Walking

These things helped me as I didn't want medication

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