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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That my husband seems not to be able to hear the baby monitor

16 replies

wingingit33 · 22/09/2022 06:23

The baby monitor that is on full volume.
The baby monitor that is positioned equidistant between us.
The baby monitor that enables him to sleep through every cry.

Ds is our third baby and he's 7m. He's always been a super sleeper and has been sleeping 8-6 five or take since 12 weeks. He's been in his own room for 6 weeks and that's when the baby monitor fun began.

Though he sleeps until 6, he starts to stir around 4 so a few dummy pops are required to lull him back to sleep. Does dh hear? Does he fuck. So my day starts at 4 because once I'm awake, I'm awake.

The past few days poor ds has a bad cold so is sleeping badly. Last night I counted ten wake ups. All very quick, just dummy and "night night ds" but obvs that's ten times out of bed for me. Because dh can't hear it, poor love . I swear it's selective hearing. There's nothing wrong with his hearing.

I've tried:
Putting the monitor on his bedside table.
Hitting him and yelling "it's your bloody turn" but then I'm awake and it defeats the object.
Making him sleep in one of the dds room, right next to ds, WITH the monitor and still. I come running.

Aibu to want to hit him where it hurts?

OP posts:

wibblewobbleball · 22/09/2022 06:25

Yeah he doesn't hear it because he knows it's not his responsibility. Go away for a night or two and he will "adapt" his hearing miraculously

Movingsoon21 · 22/09/2022 06:25

YANBU

Doingprettywellthanks · 22/09/2022 06:28

Ween off dummy
couple nights of crying
problem sorted

oldestmumaintheworld · 22/09/2022 06:28

Time to book a couple of nights in a Premier Inn.

Nidan2Sandan · 22/09/2022 06:32

Oldest trick in the book- dont react, pretend to be sound asleep, wife has to get up instead, doze back off. Job done.

Book a weekend away and then take it in turns for nights. Even if you have to sleep on the sofa with ear plugs in! He'll soon have to start "hearing" the baby monitor.

SamanthaVimes · 22/09/2022 06:39

Oldest trick in the book- dont react, pretend to be sound asleep, wife has to get up instead, doze back off. Job done.

this is exactly right. You need to have times where it’s explicitly his job to do it. Maybe alternate nights. Then kick him awake if you have to. Once he realises he has to get up anyway he’ll miraculously “start” hearing it. Don’t get up just because you’re awake anyway.

BigBunkers · 22/09/2022 06:55

Is he definitely pulling a fast one? Because I’m like him, I can sleep through the DC crying etc and my DH goes to them instead. I’m not faking it, I genuinely do not hear them. If I’m bone tired (like when they were babies) it was even worse.

littlepeas · 22/09/2022 07:02

BigBunkers · 22/09/2022 06:55

Yes, same here. My dh would always hear them first - I was bf so he would go and get them and then bring them to me in bed. If I was alone I would hear them eventually and get up, but it took me a lot longer to notice they were awake than dh. Realising as I am typing this that I would probably have got eaten by a lion if we were still. living in caves!

CosyRosiePosy · 22/09/2022 07:08

BigBunkers · 22/09/2022 06:55

Indeed - some people are deep sleepers. Does he normally sleep through noise? And in all seriousness has he had his hearing checked?

Bestcatmum · 22/09/2022 07:14

.If I were you I'd go to the other end of the baby monitor and scream at the top of my voice wake up you useless f@@k.

Olamiamore · 22/09/2022 07:19

I do this. My husband is so much better at getting up than I am and I admit, a lot of the time I might stir but just let him get on with it. He doesn't mind though and if he did, he would just ask me before bed if I could do it that night and I would.
However if he is genuinely just sleeping through and if once you're awake, you're awake not sure what you can do. Maybe he has to get up early and you get a lie in?

Doingprettywellthanks · 22/09/2022 07:21

Bestcatmum · 22/09/2022 07:14

.If I were you I'd go to the other end of the baby monitor and scream at the top of my voice wake up you useless f@@k.

Just what a child wants to hear coming from their parents room first thing in the morning

FacebookPhotos · 22/09/2022 07:24

People can’t control what wakes them up so I think you’re being harsh. I’ve slept through a fire alarm, house alarm, baby crying in the same room (DBro woke up in the bedroom across the landing so it must have been loud too).

As it’s a short term problem you need a short term solution. Could you go to sleep early and have DH in charge of dealing with the stirring while he’s still awake? Or leave him in charge of the kids for a couple of hours in the early evening while you get some sleep?

Unless you think he’s faking it, of course. In which case he’s a knob.

CollieWobble22 · 22/09/2022 07:29

I was like this when mine was a baby. I don't wake up to crying or alarm clocks...

Or F1 cars whizzing past me a few metres away (yeah I fell asleep mid race once and slept very well!) 🤣

CosyRosiePosy · 22/09/2022 07:35

FacebookPhotos · 22/09/2022 07:24

Unless you think he’s faking it, of course. In which case he’s a knob.

Off-topic but have you had a sleep study done?

i did after sleeping through a fire evacuation among other things and it turned out I had an actual condition that needed treatment

toastofthetown · 22/09/2022 07:40

Personally, when I’m asleep, I sleep like the dead. DH is a much lighter sleeper and will often ask ‘did you hear XYZ last night?’ and the answer is invariably that I didn’t.

This is your third baby, so is this a new thing? Is the baby noisy when he stirs for a dummy? Can you leave a few dummies in the cot so he can pick a new one up if he want one? Could you sleep earlier?

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