To suddenly think 'what if I die?'

[Namechange5r]

Perfect MNs please stand down. I'm asking those who have actually lived an inperfect life:
Been with DP for 8 years. He has 3 adult DC, I have 3 late teen DC and 3 young DC. We don't share any DC but my youngest 3 think of him as their father.
Older DC have an uncaring but 'I'm the daddy' father who has left us penniless over the years whilst not bothering with them at all.
Younger DC have an abusive father who we have regular court battles with, but provides financially.
I, technically, have full parental responsibility for the youngest 3, oldest 3 could make their own decisions (they'd stay with DP).
If I die tomorrow, where does DP stand?

Sorry,
YaBu: kids should go to their fathers
Yanbu: kids should stay with DP

I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure you should make a will saying what
you want to happen to the younger DC (although the biological father would still have rights and responsibilities). If what you want is for them to stay with your current DP perhaps you should look at him
adopting them.

You can make DP their guardian in a will. I’m nominated to take on my niece if similar circumstances happen

You can't will our children to someone, they aren't objects. The courts would make the decision if need be.

Do you mean in terms of custody, or financially? Did you marry either of the fathers, and if so are you divorced?

A court would look at many factors and there must be a reason why you have full custody of the younger ones.

I'd be more worried about how your dp would be able to support 9 kids, which might influence a court if you died. Do you have life insurance? Is he named as a beneficiary on your pension? Do you own a house together? If unmarried then he might have to pay inheritance tax on your half if you leave it to him, worth getting married for that alone I think. Marriage also gives you next of kin rights if the other falls ill and you have to make decisions about care. I'm not romantic about it but a quick registry office wedding can be a sensible precaution financially!

Are you sick?

You won't die, so please just enjoy not dying.

I say that not to dismis you but because
I used to wonder about this too, yet here I am, still alive. My two wouldnt even visit their father, they have no interest in him.

It makes sense to have a plan