Long story, but I'll try to cut it down. Met friend about 5 years ago, first 3 years we were great pals, kids similar age, cycled together in a club and socialised regularly. We're both Scottish but living in England. See each other at school and have loads of mutual friends. She was always good fun, the life and soul of the party. About 2 years ago I noticed she wasn't as eager to meet, but we still did so quite a lot, but never on our own. Nothing in particular had happened. It took me a while to notice due to lockdowns, changes in work patterns etc. It's become really apparent she doesn't want to really be friends anymore, which is obviously fine as relationships change. But she hasn't mentioned anything, and I'm at a loss as to what's happened. It's now been so long I feel I can't ask (and we're never alone anyhow). She still occasionally organises lunches etc including me, but always with others, but I know in the past she did this with others, like a box-ticking checking-in exercise. Sometimes I go, but it feels so awkward. And it also means I've become more isolated as I have tried to avoid her.
Six months ago she invited a group of us for a night away that's coming up in October to celebrate her 50th, she's stumping the bill. I introduced some of the people into this group, which is maybe why I'm still being invited. I immediately didn't want to go, and with hindsight I wish I'd said no at the time, but I didn't as I couldn't think of an excuse with so much notice. The whole group was invited together and I know all the others will go, so it would be a statement not to. And I suppose part of me was still hoping we were still friends and things would improve. However, I have a friend who is friends with the woman's best pal, and she has recently told me that I've been "put on the periphery" and that I'm not being invited to much stuff anymore (my friend said she didn't know why).
I am not keen on confrontation as I'll continue to see this woman for a long time at school and we have so many connections. But I feel like a fool and it's really bothering me. It feels so hypocritical going along.
Do I confront her and say I would rather not go? Do I go and just let things naturally fizzle? although that's what I've been doing and it's been quite hard up to now. I don't want to make a last-minute excuse as she's hosting it us all (obviously I'd be getting her a big gift).
Thank you!