To wear black to a wedding?

[delilahhey]

Another post prompted this but I’m wondering if I am just old fashioned in my 20s.

MIL (who hates me because she thinks I’m the reason her son is sticking up to her - she is a narc) wore black to our wedding.

She also wore black to her son’s wedding recently. She also dislikes the girl but not in the same way as me, just thinks he can do better (SIL is overweight and not career driven)

To her daughter’s wedding (Golden Child) she wore a non-black dress however still a bit untraditional IMO (leopard print).

Now, we are NC with PIL. I know she did make a comment about wishing DH would leave me at the alter / call it off and said it was a funeral.

FWIW, every dress was bought brand new and are designers (high end) that she has bought for the occasion. She is slim and has no body confidence issues (beyond what most women have).

IABU: black is fine!
IANBU: she did what?

I wore black to a wedding.. that is what I feel comfortable in. No one cared, because all eyes are on the bride and groom, not the guests.

There's nothing wrong with wearing black to a wedding these days. I don't really see anything wrong with leopard print either.

But the comment about the funeral is so weird and incredibly rude. I wouldn't have wanted her at my wedding after she said that, no matter what she was wearing!

In general it is fine to wear black to a wedding. However your MIL clearly chose black to be a dickhead, which isn't ok.

I've been married for 40 years and my mum wore black because it suited her. No issue for me but your mil sounds just plain nasty boso glad you're NC and your DH has your back.

The problem isn't the colour she wore.

I was only aware of the level of her nastiness after the wedding but I knew she probably shouldn’t come.

I would agree that you can wear black as a guest. But as Mother of the Groom? I find that odd. The dress for our wedding was above knee, the dress for BIL’s was netted and witchy.

I always thought wearing black was a taboo. Especially as our wedding was only 30 people.

I seem to be in the minority but I think a black dress for a wedding is a NO
I also think white or cream dresses/ outfits are unacceptable.

I agree, but I am a sucker for tradition.

I am still mortified that my mother insisted I wore a cream, lacy dress for a cousin's wedding when I was 14 😭

I personally didn’t care what colour people wore to my wedding. Apart from a few stand out outfits (I liked them), I can’t actually remember what people wore unless I look back at photos.

Your MIL is obviously an awful person but there are much bigger issues that the colour of her dress for a wedding. I’d just smile brightly and tell her how lovely she looked if she was trying to get a reaction.

She sounds horrible but I think there is still an unwritten rule about wearing all black to a wedding in the UK - a pattern with black in it or a black skirt with a different coloured jacket would be OK. I think it's sad, as black is perfectly acceptable for weddings in a lot of other countries and lots of people don't really want or need a flowery dress in their lives.

I'm pretty certain from what you've said that whatever anybody else thinks about black at weddings, your MIL's intention was to make a point/piss you off. It sounds like you're doing the right thing to go NC.

i often wear black dress for evening of wedding or black /white all day

tho agree unusually for mog or mob to wear black

as long as isn’t white

Absolutely this!
An unusual colour for MOG to wear, but black itself shouldn't be an absolute no. However she clearly wore it to make a statement and therefore she's been a dick.

A friend told me her mil wore black to her wedding and I didn’t think much of it. When I saw the photos the mil did look as if she was going to a funeral in all black with a big black hat. She was definitely making a statement.

For the love of God reconcile with your MIL. The fact you are going on about something so trivial means you can't see the bigger picture. Be the bigger person.

This isn’t about whether black is an acceptable colour for a wedding it’s about your mil using that colour as a personal attack on you and your relationship. But the connotations of black as a funeral and mourning colour make it a choice that has the potential to offend at any wedding. So I wouldn’t risk it personally unless the invite said to wear black eg a goth wedding. And I would raise my eyebrows at other guests in black because it’s either socially ignorant or intentional, I mean, really, out of all the colours that was the only one you could find a dress in??

Absolutely this.

I've seen a mother of the groom in black - but she adores her DIL, looked gorgeous and happy and over the moon for the happy couple. She looked great and no one thought anything of it.

I'm guessing that's not the vibe your MIL was giving off!

My MIL wore black to our wedding. She told me early in the relationship that I was taking her son away from her. When she dies just make sure you wear a nice bright colour to the funeral. It’ll make you feel better

I’ve seen plenty of people wear black to weddings. I did once myself but I’m not sure that counts as it was the dress code.

Your MIL may have other issues but this isn’t the main issue here.