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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think college should be able to do this for my autistic DS?

45 replies

Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:10

One of his teachers makes their students sit in a seating plan (he’s the only teacher of the 3 subjects that DS is doing that has a seating plan decided on by the teacher). The SENCO person knows that my DS (he does have both autism and adhd) doesn’t like being sat at the front of the room, this was mentioned to all his teachers. This particular teacher put him at the front on the seating plan, after a few lessons with him DS mentioned it to the SENCO, she asked the teacher if DS could be moved to the back (he likes being sat at the back), when DS went in the lesson today the teacher told him he could either sit in his seat at the front or the one empty seat that was on the very middle table in the room. AIBU to encourage DS to go back to the SENCO and ask again if he can sit at the back? DS said the teacher said to him that he will be “feeding back” to the SENCO that the matter is “resolved”.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:16

Just for more context, what I understand from DS is that the teacher was saying that the only other seat that is currently available is the one on the middle table

OP posts:
User64322 · 21/09/2022 19:21

Put in a complaint OP and go to the head if you have to

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:25

User64322 · 21/09/2022 19:21

Put in a complaint OP and go to the head if you have to

I’m thinking about encouraging DS to speak to the SENCO again first, I don’t want to go in all guns blazing

OP posts:
Yalz · 21/09/2022 19:25

How old are the students in the class and roughly how many are there of them?

Is his need to be seated at the back in documentation somewhere? If so, you are being not at all unreasonable.

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:29

Yalz · 21/09/2022 19:25

How old are the students in the class and roughly how many are there of them?

Is his need to be seated at the back in documentation somewhere? If so, you are being not at all unreasonable.

They’re mainly 16 and 17 years old as it’s a college. and according to DS just over 20 of them. DS doesn’t have an EHCP so it’s not mentioned on that

OP posts:
ContSalw · 21/09/2022 19:30

I was told by the OT who diagnosed my daughter with ASD that the feeling of people looking at you is part of autism.

She has a problem with thinking that people are behind her/watching her.

I don't see why his request can't be accoodated if it is for similar reasons relating to his autism.

I would ask for clarification about the teachers reason why he can't move.

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:34

ContSalw · 21/09/2022 19:30

I was told by the OT who diagnosed my daughter with ASD that the feeling of people looking at you is part of autism.

She has a problem with thinking that people are behind her/watching her.

I don't see why his request can't be accoodated if it is for similar reasons relating to his autism.

I would ask for clarification about the teachers reason why he can't move.

This is exactly what DS is worried about! He says it’s about him thinking people are looking at him. I think the teacher is saying that the only other empty seat in the room is on the middle table. But he could swap DS with another student who is sat at the back?

OP posts:
AtLeastPretendToCare · 21/09/2022 19:36

This may just be a miscommunication. You initially say he doesn’t like sitting “at the front” and the teacher has offered him a seat not at the front. This probably isn’t an intentional refusal to accommodate.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 21/09/2022 19:37

Just talk to the teacher!

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:37

AtLeastPretendToCare · 21/09/2022 19:36

This may just be a miscommunication. You initially say he doesn’t like sitting “at the front” and the teacher has offered him a seat not at the front. This probably isn’t an intentional refusal to accommodate.

DS directly asked the SENCO for a seat at the back, not just any seat

OP posts:
Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:37

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 21/09/2022 19:37

Just talk to the teacher!

That’s what I’m asking, AIBU to encourage DS to ask the SENCO about it again

OP posts:
Rummikub · 21/09/2022 19:38

I’d suggest you speak to the college and ask again. I’m sure they’ll want your ds to be able to feel settled.

Penguinfeather781 · 21/09/2022 19:39

My DC has similar seating needs (though he’s younger and still at school). He doesn’t have an ehcp, it’s just something his teachers automatically accommodate as a reasonable adjustment for his disability. It’s no different to a child with hearing difficulties needing to sit where they can see to lip read. Basic and completely costless thing to help an autistic person feel comfortable to learn - I mean why on earth wouldn’t it be reasonable to expect college to do it? Unless all the other back seats are taken with other people with similar needs then it sounds like a teacher playing silly power games, who needs reminding of their responsibilities towards their students.

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:44

Thank you everyone, I’m going to encourage DS to speak to the SENCO again tomorrow and I might ring her too

OP posts:
illbeinthegarden · 21/09/2022 19:44

There will be other students with needs/EHCP in the room I'm sure... just email the teacher and ask them. In the college I work at if we need to make any seat changes teachers tend to mix up everyone so it's not obvious who wanted the change. Maybe they are just giving it a bit of time before doing that? Maybe everyone in back row has requested to be back row for a variety of reasons. Just ask again I'm sure they will be able to find a solution he is comfortable with.

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:46

Penguinfeather781 · 21/09/2022 19:39

My DC has similar seating needs (though he’s younger and still at school). He doesn’t have an ehcp, it’s just something his teachers automatically accommodate as a reasonable adjustment for his disability. It’s no different to a child with hearing difficulties needing to sit where they can see to lip read. Basic and completely costless thing to help an autistic person feel comfortable to learn - I mean why on earth wouldn’t it be reasonable to expect college to do it? Unless all the other back seats are taken with other people with similar needs then it sounds like a teacher playing silly power games, who needs reminding of their responsibilities towards their students.

This is what I’m thinking, DS asked the SENCO for a seat at the back, the SENCO asked the teacher to move DS to the back and then the teacher offers a seat in the middle of the room and not at the back

OP posts:
Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:47

And the way the teacher said he would be telling the SENCO it was resolved when it’s not

OP posts:
Rummikub · 21/09/2022 19:48

That’s why I think it’s worth you making the call to senco/ college. It’ll carry more weight coming from you.

PizzaFunghi · 21/09/2022 19:50

But are you sure the Senco specifically asked for him to be put at the back? It could well be that the actual phrasing used was something like 'X struggles with being sat at the front and needs to be moved back'. The Senco might have thought it was clear it meant right to the back, but the teacher might have just heard it as 'not to be at the front' and so thinks that he's doing what the Senco wanted.

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:55

Rummikub · 21/09/2022 19:48

That’s why I think it’s worth you making the call to senco/ college. It’ll carry more weight coming from you.

I’ll call her tomorrow

OP posts:
Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:55

PizzaFunghi · 21/09/2022 19:50

But are you sure the Senco specifically asked for him to be put at the back? It could well be that the actual phrasing used was something like 'X struggles with being sat at the front and needs to be moved back'. The Senco might have thought it was clear it meant right to the back, but the teacher might have just heard it as 'not to be at the front' and so thinks that he's doing what the Senco wanted.

Oh it could have been this! Hopefully it’s just a miscommunication like this

OP posts:
JulesCobb · 21/09/2022 19:55

User64322 · 21/09/2022 19:21

Put in a complaint OP and go to the head if you have to

🙄

tell him to speak to the teacher at the end if the class, or the end of the day. There could be other reasons why the back is not suitable. Or why other students needs require the current seating plan.

actually, get him to email the teacher now. Teacher will see it in the morning.

Original poster
Cruisingabovetheclouds · 21/09/2022 19:56

JulesCobb · 21/09/2022 19:55

🙄

tell him to speak to the teacher at the end if the class, or the end of the day. There could be other reasons why the back is not suitable. Or why other students needs require the current seating plan.

actually, get him to email the teacher now. Teacher will see it in the morning.

Show quote history

The teacher or the SENCO? Would it not be better for him to go through the SENCO?

OP posts:
MyneighbourisTotoro · 21/09/2022 19:59

Personally I’d be talking to the teacher myself and telling them where my child will be sitting but I tend to go in guns blazing with my kids as I’m so fed up of their needs being overlooked, even with an ehcp in place.

Rummikub · 21/09/2022 19:59

In my place it would be better going via senco. Who can pass on to the teacher.
email might also be good from you so then there’s less chance of miscommunication.