can I improve my marriage after 25 years? What works for you?

[ResetFuture]

Been together 25 ish years, a 17 & 15 year old.
Got through the tricky baby years, I had an awesome career which I definitely sacrificed for the kids and DHs complicated, but ultimately successful job. This is not acknowledged enough.
I work pt, it's quirky, well paid but I'm held back by the family.
We're entering a new stage, more money than our student days but still share a similar mindset. I work hard to keep things fun but i've hit the menopause, (got max HRT), and feel lonely and unconnected to DH.
He's away working, gone over a week now & I've had two badly timed phone calls and probably ten what's app texts in total, mostly directed at the kids.

Can we improve this, or should I except this is it and how do I accept that or rip it all up?

It depends what it is you want to fix.

im guessing more romance and intimacy.

We tried that - chasing the expected love (for the want of a better phrase).
Eventually we reluctantly accepted that outside pressure and commitments were causing this “rut” (not consciously I think), but individually grew to accept it.

we have separate interests, but a common link. And this has given us more intimacy than ever before - just a more mind/partnership thing than a romance / gooey love thing.

this may not apply to your situation. Also, I have almost definitely explained it poorly.
But my point is - try and relight the fire if you want. But don’t be scared of it not working.

We’re only giggling lovestuck when on holiday but, after 27 years, we appreciate the boring partnership more.

I think I want to find happier headspace, so improve what I can, accept what I can't.
Find alternative role models than movies or my head full of novels or my parents frankly miserable co-existence.