To feel incredibly lonely?

[sunshinecoffee]

I have no friends and my family live far away and barely speak to me. Not even my husband talks to me really. Sometimes he has a conversation but 9/10 it's about his work. Any attempt to start a conversation is usually met in monosyllabic responses. I don't know how to make friends, I've tried joining mum groups etc but never seem to fit in. The only people I talk to are my 3 children aged 5,3 and 1.

You're not alone. I'm rubbish at making friends (I have autism so lack the skills) and when I do they tend to be users. 😣

What about the school mums on the gates? Have you tried talking to any of them.

Don’t your children have friends in school/ nursery maybe reach out to those mums?

Yanbu to feel lonely.
I think anyone would in your situation.
I'm sorry it's so isolating right now.
Has making friends always been tricky or is it just now?
My DH also isn't big on conversation, I have to initiate it and do most if the work to keep it going!
I've been to a few children's groups some are clicky and can make you feel more isolated, others are great and i made good friends, it's trail and error finding your tribe.
Are there any activities you can do with your children that may help develop friendships or even acquaintances , casual conversation can give you a lift too.
I used to try and find someone sitting by themselves and try and start up conversation, usually about DC initially, its easier to talk to one person than integrate into an established group.
It's a bit harder I think when you have more than one child with you as you can end up firefighting and distracted!
Have you told your DH about how you feel? Is it possible to do something nice together to give you a boost, even a date night at home if babysitting is an issue, or can he look after the kids and give you time to yourself? Book club, gym etc? You may also make friendships that way.
Health visitors can sometimes help with group suggestions or support for mums too.
Do you work or are you at home with DC?
I hope things improve, remember you are worthy of friendship so please don't blame yourself 💐

You don’t mention whether you do anything ‘outside the home’?

If you don’t then I wonder if you might need some new areas of interest. Sometimes we think we need a particular type of relationship - romance or ‘a friend to have coffee with’ when in fact it might be something altogether different that would hit the spot. Like mentoring or being mentored, or collaborating with other people on an important project.

In my experience once we’re past childhood friendships are made in circumstances where simply making friends isn’t the point. So my suggestion would be to carve out some time to find a new endeavour that brings you into regular contact with others. A new qualification, an evening class, dry stone walling, helping with adult literacy classes … Throw yourself whole heartedly into something outside …

(Having said that, you must be pretty busy with three small children - perhaps this is just a phase and things will change as they get older.)