AIBU?
To think that being 'spoiled' is subjective?
janef001 · 21/09/2022 16:19
I've always heard people throwing around the world 'spoiled' and how bad it is because it leads to entitled adults. What I've found though is that the definition seems subjective.
I grew up in a developing country in Africa and a lot of people would consider most Western children spoilt for talking back to parents and not focusing on education. Moving to and growing up in the UK, people have a different definition of spoilt; i.e.someone who grows up in a millionaire/billionaire household and never has to work.
Am I being unreasonable?
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YouSirNeighMmmm · 21/09/2022 16:25
Of course it is subjective. The only think that we can all agree on is that "spoilt" means "damaged" and "ruined" and that it is a typo of child abuse to spoil your child.
10HailMarys · 21/09/2022 16:53
For me, 'spoiled' isn't really about wealth, or arguing with parents, or valuing education or any of that stuff. A child could be obnoxious or badly behaved without being 'spoiled'.
For me, a spoiled child specifically is one that always gets their own way no matter how it affects people around them, and thus behaves in a way that is entitled/ungrateful/selfish because they take it for granted that nobody ever says no to them. It can be about material things but it doesn't have to be - it can be general over-indulgence, favouring them over everyone else in the household, always letting them win games, giving into every tantrum, etc.
luxxlisbon · 21/09/2022 16:57
Sure it’s subjective, but your post is enough still implying being spoiled is to do with what you have.
Growing up a millionaire doesn’t make you spoiled just as growing up on a council estate doesn’t mean you aren’t. Spoiled is an attitude, not how much you have.
Thinkbiglittleone · 21/09/2022 17:01
Of course it's subjective.
I don't believe a child is spoilt because they get/have lots of things or days out or holidays etc.
To me spoilt is a behaviour, it's being ungrateful, it's not considering others feelings, it's always getting their own way at the detriment to others, it's parents saying yes because they are scared of the "kick off" at saying No.
kimchifox · 21/09/2022 17:08
I'd say it means the person always gets their own way and has every whim indulged and as a result is rude and badly behaved.
Sparklesocks · 21/09/2022 17:12
Of course. But I think most people would agree spoiled is about attitude and entitlement rather than their belongings and experiences. You could have every advantage in life and still be humble and grateful, compared to a child who stomps their feet and kicks off when they don’t get their way because they always have.
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