Birthday parties & bullying

[Jennybeans401]

Dd is in Y5 and it's a tiny class with a lot of problems. All through Y4 dd was bullied by 2 of the 6 girls in her class, Y5 we thought it might be better.

We've invited the girls from her class to the cinema and Frankie & Bennys in a few weeks (we did this thinking things were getting better). This evening though dd has been in tears again over the bullying and its the same 2 girls. Only one of the girls is really someone she feels close to. Dd doesn't want the two bullies to come out on her birthday with us. She doesn't want it ruined.

AIBU to maybe reschedule the party and just take her close friend? Or even keep our plans and just take this friend?

Sorry your daughter is going through this. Absolutely do not invite her bullies to her party. If she still wants the other girls then the invite to the rest still stands and you calmly but firmly tell the parents of the other 2 that an olive branch was reached our with the invite however due to the behaviour and how upset your child is because of them that it isn't appropriate for them to attend.

YANBU, cancel the party and make it an amazing one with her good friend.

I would just tell the other Mums that a big party will be postponed till next year now.

As for the bullying, I would speak with the headteacher and tell her it’s not getting any better (if you haven’t ofcourse) I’m so sorry you and your daughter are going through this.

A nice evening with her one good friend is exactly what she needs.

Just tell the other parents the plans have changed - if either of the two bullies mum's have issues with this, let them know how their daughters are making your daughter feel.

I hope she has a lovely evening!

Why the hell did you invite her bullies in the first place?????? Poor child

I don’t get why you originally invited them 🤔

She clearly stated she thought it was getting better between them 🙄

@drpet49 things had settled down a bit, I was overly optimistic. Its also very difficult with so few girls not to invite some of them without there being problems at school.

I really should have thought more carefully about it. I'm grateful for the support from everyone, I'm going to rethink this idea.

I would uninvite the two bullies and explicitly explain to their parents why.

Just un invite the bullies and tell the parents straight up why they aren't coming anymore. No need to make excuses. The kids might be annoyed or whatever but they might decide to start being a bit nicer.
Would also speak to the school about it. It isn't fair on your daughter.

Uninvite the bullies say the party has been cancelled don’t explain why. As if they get wind its still going on they may try and dissuade your DD’s friend to drop out and she may oblige for fear of being the next target.

Explain to school about bullying (don’t mention the party).

Make sure her good friend knows dd is still doing something for her birthday and do something really nice.