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AIBU?

Did anyone else like the attention of being ill / hurt when they were a child ?

72 replies

wonderfulwonderer · 20/09/2022 19:12

I was pondering about life today. I was feeling quite unwell recently which made me remember when I was a child, quite enjoying all the fuss that came with being unwell or injured. Did anyone else have that ?


I really loved and craved that attention. I would say sometimes I would be a bit clumsy on purpose even...

Anyone ?

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lickenchugget · 20/09/2022 19:15

I know people still like this as an adult. Also enjoy attention of their DC being ill.

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wonderfulwonderer · 20/09/2022 19:18

lickenchugget · 20/09/2022 19:15

I know people still like this as an adult. Also enjoy attention of their DC being ill.

Like Munchausen ?

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Fingernails4Cash · 20/09/2022 19:18

Isn't there a name for this? Münchausen syndrome?? (And if you like the attention when your dc are sick it's munchausen by proxy)

Self awareness of it sounds good, maybe work on it if you can?! Hope you feel better soon. Yea think we can all relate to the cosy feeling of being ministered to and coddled, but if you are deliberately being clumsy I'd say that's crossed a line

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Colourmeclear · 20/09/2022 19:20

I wouldn't do it on purpose but I always found that my physical needs were met where often my emotional needs were not.

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Stripeystrip201 · 20/09/2022 19:21

I remember breaking my arm when I was 8. After the initial pain I loved it! Everyone writing on my cast, having a special buddy assigned to help me in class, everyone crowding around to see what I'd done.

Ironically I then became disabled at the age of 16 and absolutely hated it. Have now come to terms with it but bring as little attention to it as possible.

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Amoozbooze · 20/09/2022 19:24

My dd is 3 and she loves hurting herself so that she can tell everyone. I remember being jealous when I was about 6 of my brother when he was in hospital too because all the adults were caring for him and he got smurfs, never considered that he was in pain.

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Yourstory · 20/09/2022 19:24

Absolutely the opposite. I would be so ill and would do everything I could to insist I was OK. I would feel embarrassed. I was terrified of the attention on me. Terrified of going to the doctors. Terrified of having time off school when I should be in school. I would feel so anxious if it ever got to the point I was kept off school or had to go to the doctor.

I'm still a bit like this as an adult.

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Flangelasashes · 20/09/2022 19:27

God no, nobody looked after me when I was sick as a child so now I hate being sick and will keep going if it kills me.
Amazing how childhood shapes you.

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Teaanddoghair · 20/09/2022 19:28

Wouldn't say the attention per say - but definitely nice having someone get you some lucozade, cup of tea, have your dinner made etc 😂 Just feeling mothered for a day while under a blanket.

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modgepodge · 20/09/2022 19:29

I would say the majority of children enjoy the kudos of having an ice pack at break time for an ‘injury’ so you are far from alone in this!!

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SimonaRazowska · 20/09/2022 19:30

My mum called “special treats sick”

basically it meant you were a bit poorly, but still well enough for “treats”, my mum being German, these treats included home made chicken soup and little bowls of whipped quark

I was also allowed to lie in bed and listen to her radio all day

we were allowed a “special treats sick day” about once a year. Think they’d call it duvet day now.

it was a nice prospect in a day you did not feel well, but also being able to enjoy being looked after a bit

no fun to be really sick though, then it changed to having sick bowls by the bed and a strict lights out and sleep it off policy

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StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 20/09/2022 19:31

Don't know what you're talking about. Was sent to school regardless.

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MooseBreath · 20/09/2022 19:32

I hated being sick, but as a child loved the attention from am injury. I did loads of competitive dance and remember feeling particularly satisfied when I went to school with a sprained ankle. As a quiet child/teen, it was very rare that I had that kind of focus from my peers.

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TheChosenTwo · 20/09/2022 19:36

Haha I got no sympathy or attention when I was poorly as a child, my mum just didn’t have time for us whining about sore throats (tonsillitis) or rashes (glandular fever) - we were brought up with a ‘get on with it’ attitude.
I’m a bit like that with my own kids to be honest although when they are actually poorly enough to be off school I am slightly more sympathetic 😂
Dh has a better bedside manner but I loathe being fussed with if I don’t feel well.
a friend of mine’s dh was poorly and she told me she read to him. I was 😱 when she explained it to me 😂😂

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wonderfulwonderer · 20/09/2022 19:38

Fingernails4Cash · 20/09/2022 19:18

Isn't there a name for this? Münchausen syndrome?? (And if you like the attention when your dc are sick it's munchausen by proxy)

Self awareness of it sounds good, maybe work on it if you can?! Hope you feel better soon. Yea think we can all relate to the cosy feeling of being ministered to and coddled, but if you are deliberately being clumsy I'd say that's crossed a line

Oh no I'm not clumsy now ! I mean when I was a kid !

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BarryKentPoet · 20/09/2022 19:39

Yes, I tried so hard to catch colds etc. hoping they would turn into chest infections! ALso did the "slightly more clumsy" thing, hoping to break an arm.

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wonderfulwonderer · 20/09/2022 19:43

I think I enjoyed injuries more, thinking about it. Absolutely loved it when I broke my arm and had to have a cast..

Being ill I didn't like as much. But I was very sick as a child, so it wasn't fun. And before any posters accuse me of having been Molly coddled when I was actually genuinely sick, I had D and V every few weeks. You can't send a child to school / nursery when they're vomiting and shitting everywhere and have a fever..,

Or did your mums send you to school with D and V as well ? How did that work ? Nappy ?

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Spicycurry · 20/09/2022 19:46

I had a very difficult relationship with my mum as a teen, but I had an awful time of it when I had a brace fitted - had too many teeth and had to have some removed and got an infection - and my mum was so lovely. I really think back fondly on that time!

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rosegoldwatcher · 20/09/2022 19:50

I have fond memories of being too poorly to attend school and being sent to be looked after by my beloved Nana.

Lucazade, love and the sound of peacocks from the park at the top of her road.

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TheSausageKingofChicago · 20/09/2022 19:51

It’s just nice to be looked after, isn’t it? My ex was a wanker in many ways but he always looked after me if I had a hangover. I don’t think that’s Munchausens, just being a bit soft.

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Havehope21 · 20/09/2022 19:52

My Grandparents used to say 'never be too ill to have a sick day' 😂 . I think like a lot of children I liked the attention / tlc of being ill when they feel slightly poorly but not really 'ill', but when I felt really rotten (like real flu / burst ear drum / tonsilitus), it was awful and you just want to be well and normal. I suppose the bit I enjoyed was bagging the extra day at home (often a Friday) when you were probably well enough to go back but should stay at home just in case!

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steff13 · 20/09/2022 19:53

My mother (and my ex husband) always fussed over me if I was sick, but I hate it. I have no problem doing it for my own kids, but I don't really see the appeal.

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abagfullofcake · 20/09/2022 19:55

lickenchugget · 20/09/2022 19:15

I know people still like this as an adult. Also enjoy attention of their DC being ill.

I actually got accused of FII (similar to munchausens by proxy). It was utterly horrendous we had to have a CP investigation.

SS had acted on malicious and false information from nursery and school thank god we had a social worker who recognised that. The nursery shut down not long after

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Clockwatching54321 · 20/09/2022 19:57

Yes I was like this but not so much as an adult. I think it stems from coming from a large family and attention at times was stretched thin. However then you got sick or ill you got extra attention from family. If it was a broken bone in a cast even more attention from people outside the home.

i never broke a bone but remember being jealous of a boy who did (which seems bonkers now).

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Everylittlethingsgonnabealright · 20/09/2022 19:57

This is an actual thing… I used the Curable app last year and it talked about how sometimes there can be an emotional need underlying chronic physical pain, and when we listen to the emotional need and give ourselves what we need, the physical pain can lift and heal. So it makes sense that you did this as a child, OP, as a strategy to get your emotional needs met. I think sometimes people (often especially those of us who couldn’t do this as a child because of not having adults around to care for our emotional needs) end up playing out those needs for comfort, affection, rest etc by manifesting physical complaints in adulthood. It’s fascinating stuff.

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