My toddler hates me

[Kindofcrunchy]

Well okay he probably doesn't, but we're getting some serious daddy preference from him atm and it's breaking my heart in two. I can't cuddle him, put him to bed, read him a story or play with him - he just wants my husband. (Who is very hands on with him and always has been.)

It should be a blessing really as I'm 23 weeks pregnant with no2 and very tired/achey, plus he's a very active and rowdy almost 3yo, but in reality the pregnancy hormones are just making it worse.

Please tell me this passes at some point, I feel completely pathetic 🤦‍♀️

My DS is 4 and went through this stage last year. He would cry if I tried to help him/put him to bed.

It’s so hard (and I imagine much harder when you’re pregnant). The way we dealt with it was not to let him see me get upset. If it was possible for DH to handle things I just agreed, told him I loved him and slunk away. We tried to to make a big deal of it. DH and I discussed it and he’d make sure to show me affection and say positive things like “mummy is so good at reading stories, I love the voices she does” etc. Some days it had to be me and I’d calmly tell him that daddy was at work/busy and that we would do something fun. This was normally enough to distract him.

It didn’t solve it but it improved. I read something that said the reason that they can push back against you and push you away emotionally is because they feel so secure in your affections. Small comfort when they’re refusing to let you do anything but I hope it helps you.

It absolutely does not last forever. DS still has days where he wants one of us more but it’s much more him stating a preference for daddy to help him with his shoes rather than do things for him all day, every day.

DS has come up to me for spontaneous cuddles and told me he loves me since he came home from school. I hope that’s some light at the end of the tunnel for you 💐.

It passes, trust me. Awful while it lasts though. I went through it with DD but now she's like my little shadow!

It totally passes. I'd say make the most of it but I doubt it will help your emotional state.
When your new baby is born you will in all likelihood have two Velcro children so try to be chilled about it, take some time to relax and have some time to yourself. Read a book, watch some tv, get some bit sorted for yourself whether it's writing your Christmas cards early or calling a friend you haven't had a good chat with in a while. Generally I find as soon as you are doing something your children suddenly are at your elbow 😂

It’s a normal phase. I think it’s actually more concerning if they don’t go through this phase.
This will pass. You will probably be flavour of the month when the new baby comes and you don’t have as much time to devote to the 3 year old.

He knows you love him unconditionally, it’s why he has no issues treatin* you like he doesn’t love you. Doesn’t make it easy though!

Mine goes through phases, all me or all daddy. My now 6 year old was the same. It definitely passes.

Hmmm tough one. My daughter is doing that to my husband. She wants only mummy. I think she was hurt when younger, she is four, because for the three first three years of her life he suffered depression and anxiety and basically ignored her/resented her. So i think she is making him pay or saving her heart from hurt. She wont let him put her to bed or cuddle her or read stories or pick her up from school. She wants only me. But when he is away in hospital she is upset he is not there and that he is sick. So who knows. I hope it is a phase. My favourite photo is one I took where he is smiling at her and she is looking at him in adoration.