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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To see this as concrete evidence of cheating

10 replies

a647gjf · 20/09/2022 12:31

Found two emails from tinder on his account saying payment confirmation and subscription confirmation. 24 quid a month. By the looks of it he's had it since before we were together which is over two years now. I know nothing about tinder, do you get like notifications saying would you like to renew? Because to me it looks like he's been paying it for ages. His excuse will be, I forgot about it, it renews automatically, but I don't use it. Yet he's skint...

Another thing I found on his search history was the address to a brothel at 3.30am while he was on a night out for his birthday. I've seen on his search history before 'sauna near me' and confronted him about that and he said 'oh it was for my mate while we were working away' and like a mug I believed him. He'll tell me the same tripe again this time I'm sure.

So AIBU to take this as concrete evidence even though he'll deny everything?

OP posts:
OrigamiOwls · 20/09/2022 12:35

It does sound like he's actively got a tinder account. However at this point it's a bit immaterial - the trust has gone, with good reason, time to end things and move on.

Welliesintherain · 20/09/2022 12:36

You don’t trust him so just move on with your life

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 20/09/2022 12:37

Does it matter if it's 'concrete evidence' or not?

trust your gut!

he's probably cheated on you, if he hadn't it's only a matter of time. Who needs that shit?

BlindGirlMcSqueaky · 20/09/2022 12:38

It certainly sounds dodgy. Three separate dodgy incidents too. Doesn't sound like a coincidence. I doubt you'll get a confession though.

I would say try and find him on Tinder and get more evidence, but that seems like an unhealthy way of spending your time. As PP says, if you are at this stage, I'd just leave anyway. You don't need concrete evidence.

mytearsricochet · 20/09/2022 12:38

I don’t think that you need concrete evidence. You don’t trust him and that is enough of a reason to end the relationship.

Thurst · 20/09/2022 12:40

Of course he’s cheating
if he’s not it isn’t thorough lack of trying

Nagado · 20/09/2022 12:46

I am the Queen of laziness and procrastination. I have several subscriptions costing me money that I need to get rid of, but haven’t yet. But £24 a month would spur even me on to cancel it. That’s an active account. And why didn’t his friend use his own phone to search for the address?

You’re checking his emails and his search history. And he’s so confident that you’ll believe any old excuse he comes out with that he’s not even bothering to delete his history anymore. This relationship is dead in the water.

Wouldn’t you rather be with someone you can trust? Someone whose internet activity is of no interest to you? You can have that, you know. You’ve just got to get rid of this idiot first.

Tessabelle74 · 26/11/2022 10:54

This way lies madness! If you need to check tinder, emails, texts etc it's time to go. I spent too long on a bloke like this, you will drive yourself crazy and he will ALWAYS have a reasonable enough excuse that you have a glimmer of doubt and believe the best. If you can't trust him, there's no point in being together

Jagoda · 26/11/2022 11:12

Why do you think you need "concrete evidence?"

You don't trust him and he uses brothels. Get rid of him.

Notimeforaname · 26/11/2022 11:15

Yes I would say that evidence enough. He's a liar and a cheat.

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