relative always buy dc tat or stuff they don't want for Christmas.

[User6447482684755]

Apologies for talking about the C word so soon 😅

I don't have a lot to do today and sat in waiting for an important phone call so I've been doing some online window shopping cor Christmas. My children are both autistic and have very specific interests, they don't tend to like the mainstream things. I'm very good at Christmas shopping I think and don't tend to buy stuff just for the sake of it, make the most of deals and coupons etc, stuff they really like!

however, my family particularly dm never asks what dc want, she just buys them what she thinks they like (or she likes!), often irs cheap tat that falls apart, difficult to store, gets opened once and left lying around.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything, but she's definitely buying for the hell of it, she would rather buy 5 cheap nasty things then one decent gift. She's always been this way, quality over quantity, even when I was a kid. She always wants to look like she's getting dc 'more' especially as she knows mil tends to buy dc one gift each, but usually of good quality!

I don't have a big house to store things. I've just sorted DC's bedrooms out and if breaks my heart how much crap they get bought and never use. There rooms are looking amazing now with the toys they actually like, but I know I'm a few short months so much crap will be added.

I have told her time and time again to think another what she's buying because half the time it ends up getting sold, passed on, charity shop or in some cases binned if utter tat.

and yes I've tried talking to her time and time again. She wants to be a cool grandparent that brings lots of gifts but honestly I'm sick of it.

she doesn't take well with me trying to tell her!

on the plus side, she buys that much crap she doesn't seem to remember what she buys. So if I have got rid she won't have a clue but I feel so wasteful!

Just take to charity shop after Christmas a lot do this the crap my stbx gets of his parents is just ridiculous usually dumped.

Just accept it with grace and then donate the rubbish to a charity. That's what I used to do with the cheap stuff that never worked or broke after one or two plays. You can't tell people what to do or how to spend their money

This is not a problem you will ever fix, so you need to learn to ignore it. I would give the tat to a charity shop unused.

As it's still early and the might not have got anything yet, could you pick something and ask them for it on DC's behalf? OK it's pushy but if you have a good relationship with your family, it should be fine. You can phrase it as you DC really want it, but you've already allocated your budget, so they'd be doing you a big favour, then it doesn't come across as a criticism of their gifting.

Hopefully once they have seen DC actually enjoying a gift from them, they'll realise the previous gifts were less of a hit, and might ask in future.

I found the best way to deal with this was to return the unopened gift to the person and say, sorry DC doesn’t like / doesn’t want / won’t play. If they moan about returning I suggest they donate it to a toy bank etc (our DC have enough stuff too). They really don’t like it being returned to them and eventually take the hint. It’s really not a nice thing to do and in the beginning I used to return things to Smyths (when you didn’t need receipt after Xmas) but it became exhausting - this doesn’t bother the gifters, they continue until they have to return them ……

Accept with thanks then donate. For next Xmas, just mention in passing, money would be more appreciated to go towards a special present that both children can enjoy. If she still insists on buying something, books are brilliant.