Hello all
Posting here for traffic, I really need some advice.
I have been with my husband for 12 years, married 4. He is a nice guy, has never done anything nasty (i.e. no abuse, cheating etc.) We have grown apart, significantly. We struggle to talk to each other - we have nothing in common.
We only have sex once / twice per year, I simply don't want to sex with him and, understandably, he is upset by this. Over the past few months he has come up behind me and, in an attempt to seduce me (I think?!), has started to feel me up... saying he wants "sex". I have declined this as I no longer like him touching/kissing me... I want to feel love and warmth... I dont want to just jump into bed especially when we have these underlying issues.
I spoke to my mum last week and her support was amazing, she told me that it is noticeable that I'm not happy. She said that me and DH dont seem natural together, and I totally agree.
I plan to speak to him tonight and tell him that I would like to separate. It shouldn't be a shock as we have barely spoken the full weekend.
my concern is when we bought our home (no children), he put forward a 30k deposit, I didn't contribute but I did buy some of our furniture. Currently, bill wise, it is a 30/70 split, with me paying only 30% towards bills/home. The only reason we do this is because I earn 22k and he earns 75k. Our mortgage in is both of our names, and states we own equal halves. What would I be entitled to?
I dont feel miserable, I can get by... I love our house and we own a huge big loveable dog who I adore and love to pieces. I'd want to share our dog as I would be heartbroken if he took her, especially when I play with her and speak with her everyday (as bonkers as it sounds, me and DH don't talk, she has been a big source of my happiness).
Our first song came on the radio the other day and I got emotional but I dont know if that means we havent tried hard enough or if this is likely to happen as emotions are emotions... I feel so helpless and I dread tonights conversation. I dont know where to start.
I also feel a bit of a failure as I'm only 31 and married only 4 years.
Please help, any words would be appreciated.
Be kind x