My parents have financially supported my brother his entire life. He is 48 years old. From the age of 7 he went to private school (I remained at state school). Their reasoning for this was that he was a male who would eventually be the bread winner for his family and would need a better education for this, whereas I was going to marry someone who would be the main breadwinner and would support me. He got expelled from private school just before his GCSE's but still got some average grades. He got into drink and drugs around this age and would con my parents into giving him money, saying he needed a car for job interviews, and money for cigarettes etc. If they refused, he said he would steal money from them or other peoples houses etc and if he got caught and put in prison, it would be on them for not providing him with what he wants. My mum has an issue with authorities as her childhood was in institutions, and she wanted to keep him out of prison.
His drug taking got worse throughout the following years and we lived in hell. Mum used to sleep with her purse under her pillow. He would come home in the small hours and put really loud techno music on and eat everything in the kitchen and then fall asleep at 3-4am with the music still blaring. If we challenged him about this he was violent and agressive and would smash things up and hit us.
I continued with my education, taking the first opportunity I had to leave home to go to Uni, got a degree and had a reasonably successful career, until I took a break to have children. I have been fully financially independent from my parents since I finished Uni and immediately started working. They give me birthday and Christmas presents but that is all.
My brother has never worked for long in a job (never more than a fews weeks). He has done some cash in hand work as a bouncer, furniture removal etc. Never had a career or trained for anything he rarely worked when he was younger and hasn't even attempted to work for the last 20 years after he got stabbed. They have paid for his accommodation, food, clothes, car (buying, insurances, servicing, repairs, parking tickets etc). He moved into Council accommodation for some years and receive benefits (topped up by M&D) but just before lock down, he moved back in with M&D and they are still fully supporting him.
He has taken over the entire house and dominates them. Their house was always lovely and tidy and clean, and now its a state, full of his clutter and dirty. When I visit, they are constantly saying don't touch that its your brothers, or that food is his, he'll go mad if you touch it. He also emotionally bullies them and punishes them if do something he doesn't like by not talking to them for days on end, and being agressive towards them. He is now an alcoholic - he gets up about 4pm and goes to bed about 4am. He moved in with them again, under the pretence of helping them with their old age, but he doesn't do much to help them (occasionally cuts the grass - that is it).
My mother had a stroke 7 years ago and my dad is her carer and although she is wheelchair bound they don't have any outside help. They are both 80 and its got impossible for my dad to cope with this anymore. I am powerless to do anything. My mum won't challenge my brother and if my dad and I raise objections to his behaviour she gets upset and it causes a family argument.
I tolerate my brother, but I do not like him and avoid him if I can. I do not have any power to interfere with their lives and I rarely visit due to my brother but we speak a lot on the phone. Recently my parents have been talking about their will and how they will split their assets 50/50 between my brother and I.
AIBU to feel that after all these years of them supporting him that there is an argument for me to suggest that he has had some of his inheritance already? Especially as I know the money he gets from inheritance will be going on drink and drugs. Any inheritance we receive (if I'm to receive my part) will require selling the house that my parents and brother live in. Advice please?