To be angry at Head of Year - already!

[HuzzahIndeed]

My son started secondary school 2 weeks ago. He wore appropriate school shoes everyday.

He hurt his toe on Tuesday (at school but his own fault). On Wednesday he went in, in his shoes but they caused him a lot of pain so when he was there his HOY said he could wear his black trainers Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday, his shoes still hurt so I gave him a note to wear his trainers again and called the school.

Despite this, he was given a negative point (don't get me started!) and his HOY made him change into too small shoes from lost property.

By the time he got home he was in tears because of the pain. We stayed in for the last three days (missing his hobby) so he didn't have to put anything on his toe.

I really want to kick up a fuss. I won't because he can wear his shoes again and we have 5 years there but AIBU to think the HOY was out of order? I'm so cross!

Thank you everyone, even those accusing me of being "that parent" when I've already said I won't be taking it further.

It's nothing to do with breaking in his shoes.

He tripped down some stairs because he wasn't looking where he was going. His toe wasn't broken but very bruised and somehow he got a quite big cut down the side and tip (but not a hospital job at that point). I should have taken a photo. I'm normally "just get on with it" and he's quite a tough cookie.

A shoe seam rubbed against it which meant he couldn't put his weight down properly and it kept re-opening the cut. We put blister plasters on but they kept rubbing off. The softer trainers didn't put pressure on that spot. The too small shoes squashed his toes, reopened the cut again and made it a lot bigger, deeper and more irritated than it started off. On Friday I was actually wondering if it needed gluing because it had got so deep.

His skin repairs itself really quickly so 3 days of just socks, careful movement and constantly replacing plasters, has allowed the cut to properly scab. It was just so unnecessary for it to get to that point.

He is in his shoes again today and is walking almost normally. I made him take his trainers and another note telling the teacher to call me if they have issues with him wearing trainers if he needs to change. I've also emailed so there is a written record. We spoke about knowing when/how to respectfully challenge (he's quite happy to challenge us!).

For info, I'm pro-uniform and do support most school things. He's vegan and has huge, wide feet so we are really limited on shoe choice. The only suitable pair we found have noticeable grey stitching and I actually emailed the school to check they were OK so no, I'm not "that parent".

Oh and in my letter I also said it was unacceptable that they made him wear shoes a size too small and that it caused further injury.

Did he actually explain to the HoY why he was wearing trainers and show them the note? I agree that it's unacceptable that he was made to swap into too small shoes, but you can't rely on an email/phone call to the school office to get circulated round all staff.

Totally not the point of the thread but I’m curious as to how the school has shoes in its lost property. I mean, leaving them there, I get, if the child left school in PE kit, but did they not notice the day after? 🤔

The HOY has made the wrong call here. YANBU.

I did my ITT placement at a school that required student to individually ask the teacher if they could remove their blazer if they were too hot.

I find removing the kids' autonomy in inconsequential things like this ridiculously and unnecessarily authoritative. Schools like to bog themselves down on everything that ultimately doesn't encourage learning...

OP, I'd complain. The treatment of your DS is absolutely unacceptable!

I’d say you should become “that parent” over this… it’s completely unacceptable. They deliberately caused him further pain!

@ChiefFinderOuter I know. It confused me too. I did check with him and then double checked I'd labelled his shoes! 😂

Then again, my daughter once came home wearing a pair of shoes 2 or 3 sizes too big. Trying to find out who'd hobbled off with her shoes was really difficult even though surely they'd have wanted the bigger shoes back!

Pathetic of the school and would make me seriously question and lose respect for this HOY.

Do they want to teach kids to unthinkingly follow other people's rules instead of using logic and common sense, and let themselves suffer rather than question an authority figure?

If that's what this school is teaching I wouldn't want my kids there.

I think a complaint would be warranted in this situation to be honest.

Some schools are totally OTT on uniform . We have one locally, wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole . Tend to think the uniforms obsessives are hiding something else lacking.

I’d complain. Stupid rule that does not impact his learning.

I hope you're not a parent!

Op so the HOY was the one who suggested the trainers as he could see the pain your son was in but then backtracked because of a point deduction? So the spare pair was almost like a punishment! Such a weird way of thinking. Your poor son, I would complain too.

Zinc oxide tape or kinesiology tape is great for putting over blister plasters to keep them on.

School are being utterly and totally ridiculous, especially in making him wear too-small shoes.

I'd complain.

I'd also ask what safeguarding steps would be taken if a parent sent a child to school with a foot injury wearing shoes two sizes too small.

@Caroffee OP wasn't wearing trainers because he

@Caroffee

OP's son wasn't wearing his trainers because he hadn't broken his school shoes in. He was wearing them because he had a toe injury and trainers were the only footwear he could wear comfortably.

You've also ignored the part where the HOY forced him to wear shoes from lost property that were too small.

This.
Im an ex teacher and I’m horrified at how secondary schools in UK are run. I’m surprised any of the children want to attend.