Another escort one...

[Assert150]

AIBU to want my exe’s GF to know about his “habit” with escorts...

You don’t have to meet her.
I agree with other posters. Start to build up your circle of friends. Concentrate on your life and your child’s life. Cut communication with your ex right down. Use only email if you have to. Move on. Tell your ex you don’t give one fuck about who or what he fucks, not your problem any more.
Don’t meet the new girlfriend. She is not your concern. Feel free to speak the truth to your family and friends though.

Op, you're very kind - both to his new partner, your kids (and anyone reasonable can understand why you'd feel such discomfort at him pretending you (or neutral reasons) are why your relationship and marriage broke down, and everyone believing it while he destroyed it by being a scum bag punter) however ....

You're going to have to do it for every fkg gf he gets if you start.

Then there's the fact women love to believe the crazy, jealous, bitter, lying ex script; women fall for that like lemmings off a cliff.

It honestly may not be worth the hassle.

If you want people to know why exactly your relationship broke down, I'm sure there are a few ears you can selectively place the information that he fucks prostitutes whole in relationships (and from the start/throughout) ... People love to gossip, it'll get around. And it should get around.

Fuck falling on your sword for a man. People should know who he is and what he destroyed.

But the gf's - I think you may just be disbelieved and dismissed and painted as something you're not etc etc.

You can't protect your kids from the consequences of what he is and his subsequent relationship history unfortunately. You can only be the best parent you can. Kids will generally, over time, realise .. even if it takes them til adults

Thank you LemonDrop22...

I just have to see his family at things for DC’s sake and it’s hard knowing what he is and being the only one who does so.
I don’t want to tell his new GF about it but I am uncomfortable about her not knowing...He is also emotionally abusive so it took me a long time to find out / see his true colours...

No, I wouldn't say anything. My ex husband has done some awful things. Have I told any of his subsequent girlfriends after we split, no- I see no reason to at all. There is nothing to be gained, and his shameful actions are not mine.

I think you need to heal before anything. It is traumatic and it does hurt. It shakes your entire sense of self and worth but telling his new girlfriend has every chance of you being seen as a crazy ex. If I were you I would work on healing and talking things through with a therapist. Be kind to yourself.

I get it op.
My ex bet the living daylights out of me.
Has a conviction for domestic violence.
He made a threat to kill, had his him licence revoked.
Horrible piece of shit.
I'd just point any partner in the direction of Clare's law.

How would you bring this into conversation? It's unlikely to come up naturally so you can just leave it. You don't have to pretend anything.

@HighlandPony I would want to know absolutely. I was warned once before by an Ex that my BF was a bit of a player. I was young, he was hot, so I still carried on the relationship but I respected where the Ex came from - she just didn’t seem to be a bunny boiler! And later on we became good friends and she invited me to her wedding!

I was also cheated on quite badly by my Ex, more serious, we had a baby together and if I’d been told that by an Ex I would have at least looked out for the signs a bit more. As it was I was completely blindsided and honestly I would never have had a child and got married to him if I’d had doubts.

I’d defo let it slip to her, in front of him perhaps! She has a right to know that this is what he did when you were together - what if he still does it and got an STI from sleeping around without being careful and ruined her future chances of having kids or gave her a serious health issue? Seeing escorts with her consent is fine. Doing it behind her back is not. Why should you have to keep his dirty little secret?