Adults scared of the dark!?

[Scaredofthedark1]

Really embarrassing even admitting this but posting here because I was wondering if anyone has been in the same situation!

I’ve always been scared of the dark- it’s taken a long time for me to be fully comfortable being home alone when it’s dark outside, and I’m now able to walk about myself in the dark (eg dog walking) but I’m not particularly keen on it, but I can do it. I’m not scared of anything in particular I’ve just always been frightened by the unknownness of it all.

I have horses and I’m at the yard every night. In winter, it’s dark by 4pm so it will soon be dark every night I’m there. We have floodlights, stable lights and arena lighting but the surrounding fields are all pitch black and it’s quite scary sometimes. You look out and just see nothing but darkness. I try to ride at the same time as other liveries for company but it’s not usually possible as we all go at different times because of work and my horse is happier being ridden after dinner

Obviously it’s a barn and there are animals and various sounds, but at night in the pitch black it’s frightening and everyday typical noises make it scarier. Tonight I was poopicking in the arena, which is surrounded by fields and complete darkness, and I got myself freaked out that there was someone there because I heard weird noises. Turned out it was my horse eating his likit! I kept my cool and kept telling myself that it was fine, but I was so frightened. There aren’t really any farms nearby so it’s just rolling fields and more and more darkness.

I definitely don’t want to change yards- the atmosphere and other liveries are lovely, and the yard owner is fantastic too. It’s an amazing yard and the facilities are unreal and I still have to pinch myself that I’m there. My horse loves it and is always turned out even throughout winter, and that’s something I won’t compromise. I just have to get over my fear but it’s so hard!

I take a torch with me and i sometimes play music in my earphones so i can’t hear noises to freak myself out. There’s a yard owner if I needed help, but her house is round at the other side from the fields and arena so even though she’s onsite it’s still scary.

It sounds stupid but I think it’s just the nothingness that frightens me- it’s just seeing complete darkness for what looks like miles and miles and It’s intimidating in a way

i known I need to grow up a bit and stop freaking myself out but it’s so hard! Does anyone have any experience or advice of this? Thanks.

Plenty of adults are scared of the dark, you're very much not alone!

I'm not, but I do notice how incredibly different everything looks in the dark and some places can definitely be unnerving once the sun's gone down!

I don't know if it will work for you, because I'm coming at from a place of confidence not phobia, but when I do feel unnerved in the dark I remind myself that the only difference is the absence of light. I'll take a moment to breathe and look around me, often my eyes will adjust and I'll be able to make out features which will then mean the place no longer feels so uncomfortable.

Do you use a head torch? You might find it more helpful than a normal torch. I would also make sure that you have somewhere comfortably lit that feels safe for you to retreat to when it gets too much - whether that's the stable or your car, or both.

Radio might be more comforting than music because the voices can be reassuring, or classical music can be really soothing when anxious.

Don't be embarrassed!

I don't particularly like it when I'm out in my own. My house is down a long dark unlit track and I get a little jittery sometimes!

I'd be scared out in the open in the pitch dark but enjoy sleeping safely in bed with complete darkness.

I have this a bit too.

I am sure it is deep brain primitive stuff, telling us to get off the forest floor safely into a nest for the night.

I wouldn't walk the dog in the dark on my own either.

I couldn't do what you do. I'd be terrified that extraterrestrials or the Mothman might be there lurking.

Would taking some self defence classes be a option ? Or if not a panick alarm ( obviously don't set it off near your
neddy ! )
I think if you have the inner confidence that you can protect your self it will help you a lot.

Nothing you've said is in anyway unreasonable. I'm not afraid of the dark under normal circumstances, but I think the situation you described would definitely be nerve-wracking and a bit scary. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about.

You could try hypnotherapy? I know someone its helped immensely.

I've always been slightly afraid of the dark but I have an incredibly over active imagination. I can sleep in a dark room but I prefer some light so I leave on en suite door slightly open with the light on.

The situation you're describing, no bloody chance!

It literally never occurred to me until now that anyone could NOT be afraid of the dark. I mean, not phobia-levels, but a bit nervous? What you’re describing definitely sounds like a situation in which I’d be on edge.

I’m not afraid of the dark either (these days I prefer it) but can you not take the dogs to the yard too? If the dog starts yipping then somethings up but if not it’s in your mind. I don’t use a yard I’ve got grass livery so it’s pitch black at the top and my biggest fear is I can’t see where that big nasty bugger thoroughbred of my cousins is. Or where it’s feet are.

I've also got horses - I'm now on a large yard with staff and for years I have never been there completely on my own so it's no longer a problem.

I remember being on yards and having to go early in the morning most days and open up. I hated it. I wouldn't do it again.

Thing is you're not scared of the dark - you're scared of someone lurking in the dark. It's very unlikely but unfortunately not impossible.

Does he need to be ridden in the week in the winter? Most of mine have always been let down a bit in the winter and generally just looked after in the week and ridden on weekends. I would try to at least only be there when other liveries are.

If it's making you really frightened could you maybe look at another yard? Honestly it's lovely being somewhere where this isn't an issue and I don't have to ever worry about opening/locking up or being on my own.

Also - yards aside - my mum is scared of the dark (she's in her 70's) and if I'm ever on my own I still have a hallway light or something on. It's not stupid at all.

You’re much less safe wearing headphones to block out sounds!

I don't have any helpful advice, I just want to say I'm so glad I'm not alone. I'm 35 and terrified of the dark - if I'm in bed and my husband is still downstairs I have to have a lamp on. I've no idea what made me like this but I've been scared of the dark since I was a child x

I'm easily creeped out too! I find it much easier to snap back to sensible reality when I have someone to chat to, even just on the phone. Do you anyone who likes to have long phone chats and would happily keep you company? Ideally a few people you could rotate through?!

Riding and being in the phone isn’t a great idea. Horses spook easy too

@HighlandPony Fair point! I had focused in on the poop clearing when it would presumably be fine (I don't know much about horses so happy to be corrected) but can definitely see that riding and chatting on the phone isn't sensible!

Horses will soook at anything so you need to be on your guard. Even those said to be ‘bombproof’ have their moments. I once tried to take a hack out with a young warmblood when I worked in the riding school and eat my breakfast at the same time. She spooked at the flagpole she passes every day and been there since the dawn of time and my roll lost its sausage. Hangry didn’t cut it

Pitch darkness scares me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep in it. I think as a child it made me imagine going blind, and it started from there.
I went to see a play a few years ago that opened with pitch darkness, and my body’s panic reaction was so strong that I had aching shoulders for a few days afterwards.

Well, I've never considered myself as being scared of the dark but the scenario you described in your OP would definitely make me hyper-alert and I'd probably scare myself 🙈

Yeah I know what you mean - I remember when I was a kid going to see my aunty who lived in the middle of nowhere. It was dark when we left and you literally couldn't see anything, complete blackness. I could feel a weird sort of pressure in my eyes and my heart was racing...actually reading this thread has made me realise I'm actually more scared of the dark than I thought 🤔

I’d be terrified of being out in the dark and I certainly wouldn’t be wearing earphones in case something snuck up behind me! If I’m home alone I can’t watch TV or listen to music in case I don’t hear something someone breaking in. (We live semi rurally and don’t lock our doors)

Even Steven King said that, as an adult, he knows logically that there’s nothing under the bed, but he wouldn’t leave his foot dangling out!