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Original poster

Another MIL post…

12 replies

misssage · 19/09/2022 21:43

I recently told my MIL what I was planning to buy my baby for Christmas (it’s his 1st). She then explains that she’s then bought one, I thought “OK, that’s fine for over her house for Christmas Day.”
We visit today and the bloody gift is sat in the middle of the living room, ready for him to play in. I’m not annoyed she’s bought him one it’s more to the fact that we were giving him that for Christmas and now he’s had that present. I know he won’t know what he’s got and will not remember it but I’ve just found it so bloody annoying.
Am I being dramatic?

OP posts:
SARM072 · 19/09/2022 21:51

misssage · 19/09/2022 21:43

I recently told my MIL what I was planning to buy my baby for Christmas (it’s his 1st). She then explains that she’s then bought one, I thought “OK, that’s fine for over her house for Christmas Day.”
We visit today and the bloody gift is sat in the middle of the living room, ready for him to play in. I’m not annoyed she’s bought him one it’s more to the fact that we were giving him that for Christmas and now he’s had that present. I know he won’t know what he’s got and will not remember it but I’ve just found it so bloody annoying.
Am I being dramatic?

Not dramatic at all!

She should have respected your decision and judgment in the first place. Even if she was goi f to buy it she should have discussed it with you first so that she's on the same parenting page as you and also out of respect.

Maybe next time don't tell her? X

My3dahliasarebloominlovely · 19/09/2022 21:55

In future tell her you're going to get your DC something you'd like to but can't afford, and let her get on with it 😎

ShirleyPhallus · 19/09/2022 21:58

I think YAB a bit U tbh, it’s September and he’s 1, you have loads of time to return it and get something else. She sounds a PITA but it’s hardly like it’s Christmas Eve and she got a PlayStation for your 12 year old

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 19/09/2022 21:59

Do you tell her not to give it to them until Xmas day or just think it?

MintJulia · 19/09/2022 22:00

It seems your MIL wants to play one-upmanship. I don't understand why they do it either. It's so small minded and manipulative.

Time to stop sharing plans with her. Don't be fooled, she is not your friend.

spongebunnyfatpants · 19/09/2022 22:03

My mil did this to us a number of times, not just with gifts to the kids but also to other family members. It's bloody frustrating.
We stopped talking to her about it after the third time, when she bought my son his first bike for his birthday (a month before Christmas) after we told her we had got him one for Christmas.
I didn't even take it home with us and left it at her house for him to use when he was there. I think she got the message when she said but if it stays here he'll only use it a couple of times a month and I replied that she should have thought about that before she wasted her money!

Gatehouse77 · 19/09/2022 22:06

That would definitely piss me off but, now you know, you can plan around it.
Keep your ideas for your gifts to yourself and discuss alternatives with others.

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 19/09/2022 22:09

MintJulia · 19/09/2022 22:00

It seems your MIL wants to play one-upmanship. I don't understand why they do it either. It's so small minded and manipulative.

Time to stop sharing plans with her. Don't be fooled, she is not your friend.

100% agree with this. Have seen it many a time and it never ends well.
Keep things to yourself to minimise this

ChubbyMorticia · 19/09/2022 22:13

And now you know she can’t be trusted to not steal gift ideas to make herself appear to outshine you.

plan accordingly. She no longer gets the barest hint of what you or anyone else have planned.

akabluebell · 22/09/2022 21:45

MintJulia · 19/09/2022 22:00

It seems your MIL wants to play one-upmanship. I don't understand why they do it either. It's so small minded and manipulative.

Time to stop sharing plans with her. Don't be fooled, she is not your friend.

On the other hand perhaps she loves you all and would like to treat you outside of xmas and birthdays so did.

Thistlelass · 23/09/2022 05:04

Sorry but I don't see much of an issue with MIL here. She was quick off the mark and had bought something that you Later told her you had intended for 1st Christmas present. No, shrugging my shoulders here. I have 5 grandchildren and I decide what presents I am buying them. If the parents said they were buying 'X' I would avoid that item.

wibblewobbleball · 23/09/2022 06:38

My MIL does this. Any hint of me buying an item for my DC and she will buy it to give it to thjem first and then act all tearful when my DH suggests she doesn't. It's very manipulative.

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