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AIBU?

To ask how much you spend on DCs birthday?

18 replies

ShockedConfused1980 · 19/09/2022 20:19

I’m feeling a bit cross with myself this year. I really wanted to be sensible. DC turning 11 and now for their school work need a laptop. I also need a laptop for when I’m on the road for work (self employed) so I’ve bought us a sharing laptop which was £500.

In addition theyve done an activity party with friends which cost about £350.

Other presents are clothes, books, a cuddly toy and bath products. We’re also having a small party for family which is another £150 or so. This includes cake/food/drinks.

we also have a large extended close family so DC will get big presents probably about about £500 worth. I’m just adding it all up in my head and feels so excessive. Cakes are M&S/Asda.

Im not sure why I feel bad it just seems so much and every year it’s the same. DC is not spoiled and always feels embarrassed they get so much!

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WaitingForEgg · 19/09/2022 20:30

I don’t have advice but can empathise

i have a terrible habit of over spending. My daughter loves a birthday party and it just adds up so quickly. I then don’t like her not having gifts so get carried away with that.

this year her party is
£50 hall hire
£300 entertainer
£100 face painter
then food, decorations, party bags, cake. It’s likely to be about £700 in total

gift wise she has lego and some our generation bits. About £300

im aware it’s ridiculous. Her birthday is close to Christmas too so then she will get even more. I don’t know what to say really except I think it’s very easily done

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AloysiusBear · 19/09/2022 20:35

I dont really get why there was a need for extra presents as well as the laptop.
I just by DC one thing. Then they get a small thing from sibling, something from each set of grandparents costing £20-50, and something for £20 max from each of a couple of aunts.

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Skyeheather · 19/09/2022 20:36

DC usually get around £150.00 spent on their present.

We can't afford to spend £300.00 x 2 on a whole class party. In the future when he's made some real friends we might be able to afford an activity for a small group.

As your laptop is shared I would be putting that down as a household expense though, if it's not for his sole use.

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NameChangeLifeChange · 19/09/2022 20:39

Similar OP I always go overboard and at Christmas. Try to be organised and budget but then see stuff they will love.
I spend very little on myself really but spend loads of the kids. Can’t seem to help myself! It’s not like we are rolling in it either.

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Rtmhwales · 19/09/2022 20:41

A laptop for school shared with a parent doesn't sound like a gift to me. The rest sounds great though.

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Paulac77 · 19/09/2022 20:42

I’m guilty of the same thing 🤷‍♀️ I never realise how much I spent till I sit and add it up and I always feel I’ve gone overboard
At the end of the day, if you are happy with what you bought/done, then why should we feel guilty about it. As long as you aren’t getting yourself in debt doing it, it’s no one else’s business x

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MissingNashville · 19/09/2022 20:53

Im not sure why I feel bad it just seems so much and every year it’s the same. DC is not spoiled and always feels embarrassed they get so much!

Your child feels embarrassed? Why? If it makes them unhappy then you shouldn’t do it.

A shared laptop for school work, I wouldn’t really class as a gift. And you can’t help you have a large family.

We spend a lot on our kids for birthdays and Xmas. We’re happy to do that and they’re very happy and grateful.

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Chickpea17 · 19/09/2022 20:53

We spent around £400. Its my daughter 4th birthday on Sunday. We only have her and wont be having anymore which is why we can afford it. Obviously things will change as she gets older and what we can and can't afford. She's never had a birthday party so far but might next year depending on money.

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BettyOBarley · 19/09/2022 20:55

Probably about £150-200 on presents per child (2) and £150-200 each on parties. I'm going to try and cut back a bit though as both are close together and close to Christmas.

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ShockedConfused1980 · 19/09/2022 21:00

The laptop in the main will be their laptop. I’ll use it maybe 2-3 times a month when I’m on the road.

yes I can’t help the big family. And as DC is older some presents will be cash which they want to put towards a new bike.

no not getting in any debt.

DC had their party and got lots of very nice gifts from their friends too!! They do deserve it but I guess I just felt like it was all too much.

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Oysterbabe · 19/09/2022 21:06

I wouldn't consider a shared laptop a present tbh, more just something functional. The other actual presents they got from you sound pretty modest.

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Quornflakegirl · 19/09/2022 21:18

My dtwins have a birthday this month, I have spent £350 on each of them on gifts and their cake. It’s mostly stuff they need plus a few things they asked for. No party so I felt it justified.

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ShockedConfused1980 · 19/09/2022 22:04

I’m glad to hear it’s modest. Esp if laptop taken out of the equation although I will genuinely only use it 2-3 times a month it’s very much their laptop.

thanks for giving my head a wobble. I guess cos Sept is expensive anyway. Plus the two parties and the laptop I did think gosh I’m over doing it here.

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ChicagoBears · 19/09/2022 22:08

I’m hosting a party for my DC for their school friends and private nursery friends

Centre Hire - £250
buffet - £200
Cake - £100
Facepainter - £100
Balloons - £50

so a ridiculous amount on the party. She will only have a few presents from me, maximum of £50 and I have sworn to myself she will not have a party like this next year.

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ShockedConfused1980 · 19/09/2022 22:12

ChicagoBears · 19/09/2022 22:08

I’m hosting a party for my DC for their school friends and private nursery friends

Centre Hire - £250
buffet - £200
Cake - £100
Facepainter - £100
Balloons - £50

so a ridiculous amount on the party. She will only have a few presents from me, maximum of £50 and I have sworn to myself she will not have a party like this next year.

I do similar every year!! And a family party on top. But I’ve decided it’s ok. I think part of it is to do with we had very little as children but my parents always did a family party for me as a child and I really remember those happy moments.

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Georgeandzippyzoo · 19/09/2022 22:18

Present is £50 worth from parents.
Then £40 off grandparents, £20 from several aunts and uncles.

We do something with friends ie Climbing wall / shows - rides etc , food + cake (shop bought- not an £80+ custom designed one) . We are past the party stage but we never invited the class as we personally think it's ridiculous cost, thankfully few of DC s friends have done this.

This isn't about not being able to afford it. We very easily could but refuse to go 'daft' over it. If they want something bigger we encourage them to save their birthday money .

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Hottubby · 19/09/2022 22:22

I go overboard and spend around £250 sometimes more. My DC get no other presents from family or friends though (only got 2 close family members who are male and doesn’t occur to them to buy and friends don’t tend to buy either). I definitely overcompensate as I know they are only going to get something from me.

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Ein · 19/09/2022 23:30

Presents approx £200.

Party it depends what’s going on (if is a small group of old friends or a new school where I want people to know who DD is and think she’s cool). But I guess £300-600 🙈

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