DF and I have always had a strained relationship. Growing up he had serious anger issues and basically always treated me like I was crazy/stupid. I had to have years of therapy to get over it. None of my family saw it from my perspective and just said he loved me.
He is completely unable to see this and does have a side that is extremely kind and generous. He and DS4 have a lovely relationship but I was keeping them apart because DF and I weren't getting along. DF's partner told me he goes to sleep looking through pictures of DS, he really loves him.
Recently a family member told me he's been having serious health issues and I didn't want our last words to be made in anger. I was really shocked and upset and invited him to take DS for the weekend. I specifically texted him and said 'remember to collect DS' bag and coat' (both brand new for school).
They had a great time but DS came back in a new coat. I asked what happened multiple times and a while DF said in a sing songy voice like he was talking to a toddler, 'we left it on the train but we got a better one.' He left telling DS 'see you next weekend.'
AIBU to end the visits over this? It's so petty I can't talk to anyone about it but I feel like it's just part of the same dynamic. I bought the coat, sewed the name in, texted to remind him. It's just always something.