Should you ever tell her?

[74528A]

If your ex was abusive, would you ever tell his new girlfriend?
Would your decision change if she had kids?
Would it make a difference if it was mainly emotional abuse, rather than physical?

Nope, she made my life hell, got her man and was as abusive as he was, she’s now finding that shit out on her own.

Oof.. tough one.

I was once in a restaurant with my now DH (dating back then) and I glanced over and saw my ExH new DP, she saw me, we both looked awkwardly and nothing else. I wish I’d have gone over, give her a cuddle and explained he was a bad man to me and to look after yourself 😔 I still kick myself for not doing it because she looked lovely and didn’t deserve such a man.

If someone had warned me about him, I’d have ran for the hills but it all depends on your approach and how delicate you deliver.

Nope, I did once, she gave me all sorts of abuse, telling me I was keeping DS away from ex etc... had to log messages with police and solicitors. She learned the hard way and messaged me apologising and telling me I should keep my DS away from the ex as he's so bad 🤷‍♀️

Trust me, she will not listen to you and then he will have proof that you are the crazy one. Sadly she will have to learn the lesson herself.

She won't listen

You are not responsible for his future actions, or her decisions. Don't open yourself up for further abuse or to be disbelieved. Look after yourself first.

Nope. She won't believe you and you'll be labelled as the crazy bitter ex.

No, it will just confirm to her what he will have said about you, that you are a liar/crazy/jealous. She just has to find out in her own time.

My ex used to be violent towards me. I see his current partner quite often and I always wonder if he's doing it to her. I really hope not. I sometimes want to ask her if she's okay but I doubt she know who I am.

I'm hoping if my ex ever meets someone they will be clever enough to apply for Clare's law..

Because I won't be getting involved but I actually pray to god someone warns her..

Depending on whether I vaguely knew her… if I did I would explain that I’d be there if she needed any support if he ends up abusing her as he did you, without warning her off or giving too many details as people need to work things out for themselves. If she was a compete stranger I’d leave well alone.