To think people are losing the ability to resolve conflict

[Letthekidsplay]

I’ve seen threads where so many people have been ‘ghosted’ or just dropped by a friend with no idea why.

Am I wrong to think this is a new thing and that in the past people would have resolved their issues and not been so scared to openly disagree or tell somebody why you’re upset?

It seems people expect life and friendships to be 100% perfect and easy and give up or ignore their friends I bateau of trying to fix things. Do people not invest in their friendships as much these days and want to resolve problems or is it just more noticeable because of social media and WhatsApp groups etc?

you are reasonable people have always acted this way

you are not unreasonable ghosting is a new phenomenon and people are far more flaky these days

I don’t know if it’s more common but I’ve been ghosted by a friend I really liked and it is honestly so painful. I wish she’d just had the conflict so I can know what I did wrong.

totally agree. I think a lot of women who cycle through “besties” are like this as well. Somebody with a lot of old friends has the wisdom to stick by people and work through issues over time. It’s not always easy, but unless people are genuinely “toxic” there should be no reason to cut them out of your life.

I find the transactional approach to friendships very stressful and you always feel like you’ll do/say one wrong thing and then it’s over. Not great for someone with social anxiety. There is something magical about a friendship that has lasted through thick and thin that you know you can have a bad week or a bad year and still be loved, despite all your faults.

It's always been the case. Only difference is we now have social media, mobiles etc.

Also, people don't have the guts to just tell someone that they don't like an aspect of their behaviour. I never understand people who can't just say "I noticed X, I felt Y, please don't do X in the future because Z". Done. No drama, no hassle.
That said, it has to come from a compassionate place. If you don't want to speak with someone anymore just tell them. "You did X, I don't think I want to be associated with someone who would do that...goodbye".

It seems that drama happens, and people have to take "sides" etc. It's so petty and childish. If I have a group of friends and two of that group have a bust up, I'm not taking sides. I will see you both equally and if you don't like it then you can opt out. Simple.

Absolutely agree.
Drives me nuts when I read these long drawn out posts and think that this situation could have been solved so easily with a conversation!

When people ghost friendships though there isnt often a conflict to be had. They just often realise they dont like that person any more have grown apart or something. Eg I have a friend (I havent ghosted but I'm not enjoying the friendship as I was) who is always negative and always jealous of others. It's not a new thing but has got worse over time. There is literally no point in bringing it up, it's a major part of her personality and she isnt going to change.

I do agree that people cant do conflict any more, they use name calling (eg 'woke' or 'sheeple') rather than logical argument

I'm not 'down with the kids' lol, so not completely sure what ghosting (or gaslighting) is..
It might sound selfish, I love people but like my home to be a haven just for me & kids.. so I tend not to invite anyone here, I'll occasionally meet up with a friend but a lot seem to be like me & busy / otherwise occupied / can't always be bothered / easier to email / text / message!

The words and descriptions of the acts are new but the acts are not new, people have always cut off from someone over some grudge

But read a whole host of threads on this site, its full of 'go no contact' or 'I couldnt be friends with someone like that' every little thing that someone says which is bad or unnacceptable means the poster should cut off from them or 'challenge' them or they're livid or fuming or some such

Nothing changes.