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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset my ex is having a baby?

11 replies

bringingdownthehotel · 18/09/2022 22:32

I was with my ex for 6 years, during that time we hardly had sex due to what I now believe was he had a porn addiction. He could get hard and we could do oral etc, however, he could only ever orgasm by masturbating really hard onto me (sorry TMI). Whenever we tried PIV he would go soft. He would always blame nerves and after years of this it really eroded my self confidence and I began to believe something was wrong with me. After we split I did some research and came to the conclusion he had the dreaded 'death grip'.

Shorty after our split he got a new girlfriend, three years passed and they have been together ever since (mutual friends). She seemed nice and I had moved on so didn't give much thought, however, did wonder if he had same bedroom issues as he did with me. Just found out a couple days ago that his girlfriend is pregnant, and I have had a pit in my stomach ever since.

There is no way in the 6 years we were together that there was any opportunity for me to get pregnant as we simply couldn't have PIV sex due to him. I'm now left feeling again like the problem was with me as he obviously doesn't have this same problem with her. If it was porn he surely wouldn't have just overcame that suddenly?

I feel really shitty and I don't know why as I am over him, I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole now but I just feel that maybe I repulsed him?

OP posts:
Mandofan · 18/09/2022 22:35

You never know, they could have done ivf

Thehop · 18/09/2022 22:37

Could be a chamce leakage of pre cum, Turkey Baster, IVF, maybe he had therapy?

it’s not you x

TimeForTeaAndG · 18/09/2022 22:39

Turkey baster maybe. Or maybe he got therapy. Or maybe it's not his. Who knows.

It doesn't really matter and it was never anything you could have fixed. He obviously didn't value you enough to get help for his problem in order to enjoy a good sex life with you.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/09/2022 22:41

Turkey baster was my first thought too.

It was him love, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong, he’s a porn addict who’ll probably never have a decent mutually satisfying sex life. Don’t envy her, she’s now tied to crap sex guy by a baby.

bringingdownthehotel · 18/09/2022 22:59

Do people genuinely do turkey basters?

OP posts:
Marvellousmadness · 18/09/2022 23:02

Who cares op
He moved on
So should you

A man that cant stay hard in your vagina. A man that can only cum whilst jerking off on you

Cant believe you were with him for so long.

Block him on social media
Its time to move on op

Maybe it was you. Maybe it wasn't
But who cares. He's gone now. Be happy

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/09/2022 23:08

Yes, there have been many threads on here over the years where people struggle with PIV for one reason or another.

bringingdownthehotel · 18/09/2022 23:16

Marvellousmadness · 18/09/2022 23:02

Who cares op
He moved on
So should you

A man that cant stay hard in your vagina. A man that can only cum whilst jerking off on you

Cant believe you were with him for so long.

Block him on social media
Its time to move on op

Maybe it was you. Maybe it wasn't
But who cares. He's gone now. Be happy

I can't be happy if I feel like I'm going to repulse the next guy that comes along. I mean how could I be so repulsive? He was fine to cum on me, looking at my face, my tits etc. But my vagina was just that repulsive?

OP posts:
Maggiethehorserustler · 18/09/2022 23:26

Ignore the last comment. It's nothing to do with you x

Maggiethehorserustler · 18/09/2022 23:33

I was with a guy who couldn't cum with me because it turned out he was gay. Do not let this doubt yourself

Maggiethehorserustler · 18/09/2022 23:35

Also this new girlfriend might do all the porno stuff that he's addicted to. In that case, Bye!!!!

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