I was with my ex for 6 years, during that time we hardly had sex due to what I now believe was he had a porn addiction. He could get hard and we could do oral etc, however, he could only ever orgasm by masturbating really hard onto me (sorry TMI). Whenever we tried PIV he would go soft. He would always blame nerves and after years of this it really eroded my self confidence and I began to believe something was wrong with me. After we split I did some research and came to the conclusion he had the dreaded 'death grip'.
Shorty after our split he got a new girlfriend, three years passed and they have been together ever since (mutual friends). She seemed nice and I had moved on so didn't give much thought, however, did wonder if he had same bedroom issues as he did with me. Just found out a couple days ago that his girlfriend is pregnant, and I have had a pit in my stomach ever since.
There is no way in the 6 years we were together that there was any opportunity for me to get pregnant as we simply couldn't have PIV sex due to him. I'm now left feeling again like the problem was with me as he obviously doesn't have this same problem with her. If it was porn he surely wouldn't have just overcame that suddenly?
I feel really shitty and I don't know why as I am over him, I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole now but I just feel that maybe I repulsed him?