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AIBU?

to want to live in a house where everything has its place

19 replies

Workyticket · 18/09/2022 21:44

I've spent the day de-cluttering dh and ds' toy / gaming area

It's a big space in the kitchen-diner with 20 Kallax spaces with boxes / cupboards / drawers plus a settee and Xbox set up

Between him and dh they have so much shit!

Dh also has a massive shed, a walk in cupboard in the living room, 3 cupboards in the utility room... all full of tools and crap plus a pile of shite in the dining room

My spaces are all organised. Drawers all have inserts so everything has a place. It takes me 2 minutes to put away my washing

The pantry is all sorted into boxes. My craft stuff is too. I can find stuff immediately. Unpacking the dishwasher or shopping bag is a doddle.

Ds' bedroom is sorted and he can put his own stuff away easily.

I'm not anal but we're busy - both work full time in full on jobs. I'm also not naturally tidy so it's taken a lot of effort to get organised.

I want dh to sort his shit - not to my standards but so stuff has a place and is easy to put away. If I ask for a screwdriver or some wire wool he's got to dig through cupboards worth of shit to find it

His mum asked me for a staple gun when he was out and after I'd raked through 3 cupboards I gave up.

If you've got this far

YABU: Back off and leave him (and ds) be with their mess

YANBU: Organisation is life!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

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ILikeHotWaterBottles · 18/09/2022 22:00

Agreed with you, although I am unorganized myself. I WANT to be organised though, that's the difference. 😂I actually do need/want to do a raid of the bedroom wardrobes and the cupboard under the stairs - that one is evil, it's just a den for all kinds of crap.

Workyticket · 18/09/2022 22:03

Oh and the worst thing we ever bought was the coffee table in there - it's literally always filled with shit!

I decluttered my bits of the bedroom recently - I was ruthless but love it. So much less stressful knowing that I can lay my hands on stuff in seconds

I'm on a mission to get his shit out of the bedroom.

Th camping stuff is under the bed instead of in his giant shed

The big cupboard in the bedroom is full of his crap from when we moved in 12 years ago!

OP posts:
userxx · 18/09/2022 22:03

Yup, I'm sick to death of tidying up only for more shite to appear. I'm really starting to miss living alone. Clutter and crap messes with my mind.

Workyticket · 18/09/2022 22:05

It doesn't help that I don't drive. I've got 7 charity shop bags piled up 😫

I got rid of loads of bags of clothes recently but that's easy as there's a donation bank at the supermarket we use

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MumCanIDoThat · 18/09/2022 22:14

Yanbu. I am like you and fortunately dh sees the benefit of it, so has come around. Even my ds 6yo is learning. Everything here has a place. I hate seeing piles of anything in any corner. Even my cleaner loves working here, because she gets to do a deep clean all the time because there isn't stuff to waste time moving around or packing away. We actually spent 2 hours this afternoon, sorting out all clothing cupboards. All summer clothing is vacuum packed away neatly into one drawer, autumn/winter stuff only out, 2 bags filled with stuff to donate. The week before ds went back to school, we had a massive sort out through his toys and donated alot. I cannot stand clutter.

Workyticket · 18/09/2022 22:22

I'm so envious @MumCanIDoThat

Dh is very relaxed and laid back - he's cleared a little space on their coffee table (I got the cupboards etc sorted but not the tops / coffee table, that's on my list for tomorrow) to put his feet up

I've had to shut the door so I can't see him!

OP posts:
MumCanIDoThat · 18/09/2022 22:23

I use iCollectClothes, they do collections of charity items. Maybe check if they collect from your area as I know they cover quite a large number of areas.

whatwouldAnnaDelveydo · 18/09/2022 22:26

Yes! I've spent the last 3 weekends organising stuff and decluttering, and only managed a small proportion of all the stuuf! I'm confident that by the end of the year I will have an organised house for the first time in my life! (Ask me again in a few months...)

Workyticket · 18/09/2022 22:29

It takes so much longer than you think doesn't it @whatwouldAnnaDelveydo ?

I took myself off to B&M a few months ago and dragged everything out of our small pantry and sorted it into boxes

It took HOURS!

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Rummikub · 18/09/2022 22:38

That sounds amazing! I aspire to be organised but fear I just don’t have the skill set. I’m so chaotic.

I watched something that spoke about macro and micro organising. So your dividers are micro and the Kallax cubes are macro. So I think my starting point is to get similar things in the right room at least. Could your dh do similar?

Aquamarine1029 · 18/09/2022 22:43

I couldn't live with a person like your husband, and I'm not kidding. My home is always tidy, everything has a home, and my husband and I are both very organised. I don't have time to be searching for something every time I turn around. I can't stand cluttered messes.

Workyticket · 18/09/2022 22:50

He drives me mad @Aquamarine1029 (good job I adore the messy bugger)

Our house has enough storage room - if we all used it properly!

I've sort of trained him with the pantry stuff but it's stuff that he's solely responding for that's shambolic.

He tiled some of the bathroom last year. Never finished it - there's still an open box of tiles and some tools upstairs 😫

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mostlysunnywithshowers · 18/09/2022 22:55

I like to be organized and have everything in drawers or behind doors so cleaning is easy. Unfortunately I live with a man who literally grew up on a farm with no concept of a tidy house = tidy mind. He sees a clear worktop or empty shelf as a blank canvas on which to drop the next piece of mail, screwdriver, wallet, phone, battery.... whatever he wants to put down at that moment. Over the years, I've subtley corralled his mess into places that I don't walk or use, like his clothes monster on the floor on the side of the bed furthest from the door, or his DIY shit on a special shelf that I don't clean. I don't touch the shed, which is it's own circle of mess hell.

My favourite game is watching him looking for his shit when he needs it and then blaming me/the DC/next doors cat for 'moving his stuff', when really he just can't remember which pile he left it in.

Rummikub · 18/09/2022 23:04

⬆️That’s my dd’s tactic at uni with the messy kitchen. Puts it all in an empty cupboard

bellsbuss · 18/09/2022 23:14

I get rid of DH shit without him knowing , he had 5 tubs of an assortment of nails and screws which couldn't possibly be thrown out . There's one now and he's not once asked where's the others are. Clothes falling apart that must be kept , thrown out. Old hoovers that don't work that he wants to keep for Gods knows what reason taken to the tip.

Abouttimemum · 19/09/2022 08:25

Oh I agree! I’m a surface tidy person though mainly. I know where everything is but my drawers aren’t organised, so someone could say grab me this and I’ll know where to go to get it but would probably need to dig around to find it.
However things lying around is a big no no.

DS is 3 and his stuff gets shoved into Kallax at the end of the day. DH stuff goes in the shed (mainly tools) although the kitchen is his domain too so I leave things in a pile and tell him to put them away otherwise he probably wouldn’t be able to find them, he does, to be fair to him, put things back in their place.

Anything we haven’t touched for months goes in the loft (which we had panelled and which is the best thing we’ve ever done!) I think it’s helpful that DS is too young to really leave clutter and DH also likes it to be quite tidy, even if he does need a nudge.

I never leave a room without putting something back in it’s place ha!

Workyticket · 19/09/2022 09:49

See I'm surface untidy which is why the storage thing is so important

I dump stuff as I enter a room and I'm guilty of having 1 too many crochet project bags out so I need to be able to sweep it all up and deposit it in its place quickly. I'm working on that though!

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whatwouldAnnaDelveydo · 19/09/2022 11:20

It's a nightmare! I'm trying to do the Marie kondo thing off decluttering everything first and THEN organising. The problem is that my brain doesn't work in a tidy way! I don't know how to become an organised person.

Workyticket · 19/09/2022 11:47

@whatwouldAnnaDelveydo I've done Marie Kondo on my drawers. Everything folded and stacked vertically

It's tools, toys, random shit of dh and ds that could Be organised but isn't

He rams stuff into cupboard whereas cupboards I'm "in charge of" are ordered.

My pantry has a box for baking stuff, 1 for tupperware, 1 for cereals etc

Takes seconds to put stuff in the right box and I know if I need flour in the shops without rummaging

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