AIBU be annoyed when CF friends use my tip to avoid paying their full share?

[Bizwaz]

This has happened twice in the last month. I've been out with friends for a meal, the bill has come, I've calculated my share and added a few quid for a tip. When the waiter comes with the card reader, I put my amount in and say "that is for a tip as well." My friend has then looked at the bill, deducted my amount from it and only paid the remaining amount! So the waiter gets nothing and I've subsidised my friends meal!

I know I should have said something at the time, but I thought "this is for a tip as well" made it pretty clear to all concerned. Both times I was a bit stunned at the cheek and not sure how to handle it. How can I avoid this in future? I don't usually have cash on me. It's made me pretty annoyed, plus embarrassed that we didn't leave any tip, and I can't believe two separate friends pulled the same stunt.

Don’t add a tip to what you pay online, let others pay their correct amount and give a cash tip.

Let them pay first, or ask for 2 separate bills

Give a cash tip only, and don’t produce it until everyone has finished paying their share.

I don't understand. Why don't your friends look at the itemised bill and pay for what they had? Otherwise this is just stealing.

Look at the bill and say 'mine is 20 and yours is 23' and then 'after you' so they pay first. Spell out what the owed amount is. And no, you shouldn't have to. But it's that or stop eating out with them

How do your friends know how much you tipped?

Wow what an absolutely scummy thing to do. I'd call them out on it next time or refuse to eat out with them and say why.

Because there’s cash on the table or they’ve overheard what OP said she’d pay on her card?

they may be stupid rather than CF.

This pisses me off too as an ex friend did this, she'd take our cash, put it on her card and pocket the tip too, took me a while to realise what she was doing. She's always been an entitled CF to be honest

if the card machine doesn’t have. Specific bit to add a tip the staff aren’t getting it anyway
so either do the tip part but don’t mention you’re doing it or leave a cash tip

Either they don't realise or they are scummy. Do you know which it is?

Either way I'd be telling them out loud - "No you haven't paid enough, yours is X I have added extra as a tip."

But in reality what I'd do from now on is not to tip on card, and take cash to tip AFTER the bill is paid - putting it directly in the staff member's hands, if your friends might pick it up.

(And if your friends might pick it up then FML that'd be the last time I went to anywhere that wasn't 100% free with them)

But how do you know your friends are doing that? Do you all say out loud what your paying?
id be say sorry friend mine was x plus tip so yours is actually y so you need to pay y

Let your friend pay first.

Yes this winds me up. I used to work with someone like that, everyone used to put a couple of pound in and she’d comment the tip was too big. She also used to conveniently forget the odd drink.

Did you say anything? I would definitely be asking for separate bills or making sure you pay the exact amount and have a bit of cash to leave on the table at the end. It is scummy, they are stealing off you and the waiting staff.

‘Friends’ of mine did this. I no longer go out for food with these friends. To make matters worse, when it happened there was a group of us, and a few of us added extra for the tip. So by the time CF couple came to pay, they basically just paid for one meal, as our collective tips covered the other.

Just make sure you take cash for the tip

I had this recently with a friend who does have form for cheeky fuckery. We’d split the bill 4 ways to include a tip from each of us. She was last to pay and said to the waitress “just whatever’s left to pay”. I only realised later that she’d paid a lot less than the rest of us, wish I’d said something at the time!

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t pull them up immediately, even with faux innocence, “no it’s £23 each Clare, I just did £26 cos I wanted to tip.”

I don’t really pay attention to what a friend is saying when they’re talking to the wait staff though. If it were one person I’d say they were stealing your money, but to happen twice - are you sure it’s not the wait staff saying what’s left to pay? Your friends would need to listen to the exact amount you were paying then cross reference with paper bill.

I’ll admit I haven’t split a bill with a card reader but is it possible your bill is added to it so say it’s 70

• you pay 40 (35 + 5)
• your friend gets the reader and it says the remaining balance is 30 ? So they just pay the 30 without questioning their missing five? Or they just tap without really looking at it

i think maybe next time when the waiter brings the bill ask them to add the tip to the balance before you pay

When they pay say “I think you’ve calculated that wrong as mine included a tip” or next time make sure they pay first

Apologies I reread and saw your friend looked at the bill and added up what she owed and adjusted the amount
it still seems odd two people would do this

cash is the only way I think

I thought you had to add the tip before paying if tipping by card?

I find it helps to have the discussion before anyone pays.."oh the bill is £61, lets round it up to £70 to include a tip, that's £23. 35 each, is that OK?".

I had a friend that did this. She'd sub her whole meal with the tips on the table. After the first couple of times I was very careful to make sure I just paid my share, and once she'd paid, I'd put my tip on the table. I'm not friends with her anymore tbh. That tightness spilled over into everything.

This is what I was thinking. They could only pay what was left unless they asked for what the OP tipped to be added, which the OP should have done themselves (asked for £x to be added for a tip, not just saying 'this includes a tip').