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AIBU?

Bf gnawing fingers and chewing nails constantly

9 replies

Jojoandflo · 18/09/2022 15:08

Just this really.
Makes me feel sick, have to look away.
Sitting in a nice cafe or restaurant and he just sits gnawing his fingers and biting nails the whole time.
Im starting to feel repulsed. Used to be a well turned out and well groomed person but now his fingers are bleeding stumps that I cant bare to even look out.
No obvious stressors in his life, keeps talking about the future in terms of marriage and kids but with this habit I'm funding it hard just showing up for dates.
A kind and thoughtful person, how do I tell him his habit is giving me the ick?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

11 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
36%
You are NOT being unreasonable
64%
Wombatbum · 18/09/2022 15:33

I do this, it’s most definitely an anxiety thing

FuzzyPuffling · 18/09/2022 15:36

I'm a nail biter. Absolutely an anxiety thing. I'd be terribly hurt if my DH complained about it.

ManateeFair · 18/09/2022 15:39

He’s not doing it for fun. He’s doing it because he can’t stop. It’s a compulsion, not a habit.

tonightelmowillrise · 18/09/2022 15:40

it’s presumably caused by some sort of anxiety or stress but I couldn’t cope with having to watch it either. Ugh

Gymnopedie · 18/09/2022 15:44

Have you talked to him about it? Whatever the reason it would give me the ick too, so you need to find out if he's prepared to stop or at least scale it back a lot.

Any repetitive behaviour can grate. My great aunt used to sit in a chair stroking the arm with her forefinger. All the time. It drove my grandmother up the wall, she'd say 'stop it [xxx]', to which [xxx] would reply 'I'm not hurting anything'. Which is true. But it never stopped grandmother wanting to tear her (own) hair out.

GobbolinoTheWitchesCat · 18/09/2022 15:45

So torn because I completely sympathise and can see why it alienates you so much (and I would be exactly the same!) But also - I do it too, and have to consciously work every day not to.

It's really hard!

Thefroglover · 18/09/2022 16:00

My DH does this too. I find it so embarrassing. I ask him if he's hungry when I see him doing it.
Dh is also scruffy to some extent and takes no pride in his appearance. After 20 years plus, its now becoming an issue for me. I want someone who is nicely dressed and turned out and who takes pride. I make sure I am all of these. He never notices that I've made an effort/look nice/new bag etc.

FuzzyPuffling · 18/09/2022 16:03

Thefroglover · 18/09/2022 16:00

My DH does this too. I find it so embarrassing. I ask him if he's hungry when I see him doing it.
Dh is also scruffy to some extent and takes no pride in his appearance. After 20 years plus, its now becoming an issue for me. I want someone who is nicely dressed and turned out and who takes pride. I make sure I am all of these. He never notices that I've made an effort/look nice/new bag etc.

Yikes! Poor bloke.
It's an anxiety-related compulsion, not a conscious choice. He can't help it. It makes him feel better. Show a bit of compassion.

Snugglemonkey · 18/09/2022 16:18

I would have to finish the relationship. It sounds brutal, but I have misophonia and any kind of nail or skin biting noise sends me over the edge.

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